Self Loathing

Sweeping the ashes under the carpet    
hoping not to see what remains of the day    
i've been drinking too much    
not wanting to hear my inner voice    
that picks me apart    
you would be perfect if not for this, this and this.    
     
Sleeping wishing I could forget    
the skeletons reaching for me    
from a closet that is bursting at the seams    
oozing puss filled pockets of acid    
that scorch my tender skin    
self loathing tendencies    
scathe with bitter truths    
that can't be denied    
i'm imperfect!!!    
     
A little too fat    
from excessive drinking and smoking weed    
everday a new day     
to prove i'm stronger then this    
today will be the day I lose weight    
then staring in the mirror    
showing both body and soul    
I crack and like a rag doll    
going back to what I know.    
     
I'm going to make it through today    
I know it, I know it, I know it!    
beat the beast at its own game    
I say with a mighty roar    
get back ugly monster that you are    
you won't put your slimy finger prints    
inside my head today!    
     
I will be free!    
I won't hate myself today    
for not being the perfect model of humanity    
shedding self delusion    
of what I should be    
I walk into the light      
embracing the inner me.