deepundergroundpoetry.com
Once Upon A Death
On a distant mountain
There climbed a girl
Not quite yet woman
She watched and waited
For rocks to quit tumbling down
Before she took her cue
Fearless in her climb
Of a few impatient years
Too eager to know any better
Unprepared for the inevitable fall
When its plates shifted
Her grip began to slip
Cramping her fingers
Until the pain was too much to bear
She finally let go and
Embraced her death
Reborn when the time was right
And not a second sooner
Up she came, a woman now
This time she chose
An untroubled mountain
No climbing necessary
Only paved welcoming paths
After a few decades at home
She realized this mountain didn’t have
Any nooks and crannies for
Spontaneous sprigs of life
Only birds flew by with wings
Strong enough to create seasons
She became envious of such power
Until one day a feather floated into her palm
And her blood began to vibrate
Unprepared for such a magical gift
It became her best friend
She used it to prick her fingers
And write on the mountainsides
About forgiveness and compassion
How it comes from unexpected places
Like a bird's feather
The strength of love and kindness
When blended together form
Massive mountain ranges
How failure, although painful
Is necessary to flourish
It guides you toward your destiny’s path
So many stories written in her blood
Each mountainside holding decades
Of pulsing scriptures
She didn’t notice her anemia
Too happy with her life’s blood work
Of characters and life lessons
Writing to the last beat of her heart
Squeezing out the last drop of ink
Until the veil came and lifted
Her breath into the sky
It swept up her feather too
And together they flew
Throughout time
Toward mountain tops called life
So when on a difficult path
Your bravery diminished
And find a lone feather
On the ground
It’s her beside you
Saving your life
Challenging you to
Pick it up and write
There climbed a girl
Not quite yet woman
She watched and waited
For rocks to quit tumbling down
Before she took her cue
Fearless in her climb
Of a few impatient years
Too eager to know any better
Unprepared for the inevitable fall
When its plates shifted
Her grip began to slip
Cramping her fingers
Until the pain was too much to bear
She finally let go and
Embraced her death
Reborn when the time was right
And not a second sooner
Up she came, a woman now
This time she chose
An untroubled mountain
No climbing necessary
Only paved welcoming paths
After a few decades at home
She realized this mountain didn’t have
Any nooks and crannies for
Spontaneous sprigs of life
Only birds flew by with wings
Strong enough to create seasons
She became envious of such power
Until one day a feather floated into her palm
And her blood began to vibrate
Unprepared for such a magical gift
It became her best friend
She used it to prick her fingers
And write on the mountainsides
About forgiveness and compassion
How it comes from unexpected places
Like a bird's feather
The strength of love and kindness
When blended together form
Massive mountain ranges
How failure, although painful
Is necessary to flourish
It guides you toward your destiny’s path
So many stories written in her blood
Each mountainside holding decades
Of pulsing scriptures
She didn’t notice her anemia
Too happy with her life’s blood work
Of characters and life lessons
Writing to the last beat of her heart
Squeezing out the last drop of ink
Until the veil came and lifted
Her breath into the sky
It swept up her feather too
And together they flew
Throughout time
Toward mountain tops called life
So when on a difficult path
Your bravery diminished
And find a lone feather
On the ground
It’s her beside you
Saving your life
Challenging you to
Pick it up and write
Author's Note
This is a lot longer. LOL
Not a poem - but a bit of made up folklore.
Hope you enjoy - needed to try something different.
Wrote while listening to
Grouplove - All
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAsYPQBTMQk
Not a poem - but a bit of made up folklore.
Hope you enjoy - needed to try something different.
Wrote while listening to
Grouplove - All
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAsYPQBTMQk
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 13
reading list entries 8
comments 24
reads 415
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Re. Once Upon A Death
I still have a big jar full of pelican feathers from a post-storm beach trip many years ago.
Free calligraphy aplenty!
Free calligraphy aplenty!
1
Re: Re. Once Upon A Death
4th Nov 2023 2:21am
Hey!
Thanks hanging in there and reading.
It is a bit longer! LOL
Just wanted to try something different:)
Thanks for stopping by for a read.
Thanks hanging in there and reading.
It is a bit longer! LOL
Just wanted to try something different:)
Thanks for stopping by for a read.
Anonymous
- Edited 29th Dec 2023 8:45pm
4th Nov 2023 2:27am
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Once Upon A Death
4th Nov 2023 2:34am
Hey you!
Thank you so so much for that. It's truly appreciated amigo.
I respect all of your work so this comment is heartfelt:)
Trying to get out of my comfort zone in writing.
Thanks for stopping by for a read and the RL!!
Thank you so so much for that. It's truly appreciated amigo.
I respect all of your work so this comment is heartfelt:)
Trying to get out of my comfort zone in writing.
Thanks for stopping by for a read and the RL!!
Re. Once Upon A Death
4th Nov 2023 3:00am
Dear A,
Wonderful story telling with loads of imagery, meaningful insights and teachings. Well done. I really enjoyed this style from you. More please!
H🌷
Wonderful story telling with loads of imagery, meaningful insights and teachings. Well done. I really enjoyed this style from you. More please!
H🌷
1
Re: Re. Once Upon A Death
6th Nov 2023 1:22am
Hi H!
Thank you so much for your snaps on this!
I was in a write-ie mood. LOL
Just had a vision and went with it.
Thank you for all of your support:)
And the RL!!
Thank you so much for your snaps on this!
I was in a write-ie mood. LOL
Just had a vision and went with it.
Thank you for all of your support:)
And the RL!!
Re. Once Upon A Death
4th Nov 2023 5:50am
I enjoyed the story, how the girl tried and failed but never gave up. I love your passion for writing. Lovely folklore.
LJ
LJ
1
Re: Re. Once Upon A Death
6th Nov 2023 1:29am
Hi LJ
Thank you so much.
For me, when I'm in a tough patch writing really does help me escape. It's a great tool for me to get away.
Glad you enjoyed the folklore;)
Thank you so much.
For me, when I'm in a tough patch writing really does help me escape. It's a great tool for me to get away.
Glad you enjoyed the folklore;)
Re. Once Upon A Death
4th Nov 2023 10:13am
Re: Re. Once Upon A Death
6th Nov 2023 1:32am
Hi Her:)
I'm happy you enjoyed it. I like trying different things here and there.
Keeping things interesting.
Thanks for your snaps on this!!
I'm happy you enjoyed it. I like trying different things here and there.
Keeping things interesting.
Thanks for your snaps on this!!
Re. Once Upon A Death
Hey babydoll !
I'm super glad that you decided to post this. It's good to venture from our norms. Stretching is part of growing, yes?
And it's a really inspirational, entertaining write. Tightly woven, without a bunch of filler details that tend to creep into many writes. This is done exceptionally well, my queen of the quill. I'm really pleased with how you ended it. A positive spin, to that nothing really ends. It just changes perspectives.
Your positive attitude is hiding in this write, too. It's just one part of your box of puppies!
Bravo, Adelphina!
Pssst, you're so lovely!
I'm super glad that you decided to post this. It's good to venture from our norms. Stretching is part of growing, yes?
And it's a really inspirational, entertaining write. Tightly woven, without a bunch of filler details that tend to creep into many writes. This is done exceptionally well, my queen of the quill. I'm really pleased with how you ended it. A positive spin, to that nothing really ends. It just changes perspectives.
Your positive attitude is hiding in this write, too. It's just one part of your box of puppies!
Bravo, Adelphina!
Pssst, you're so lovely!
1
Re: Re. Once Upon A Death
6th Nov 2023 1:41am
Hey babe:)
Thanks - I'm trying different thigs here and there - gotta keep things interesting!!
Stretching is mandatory to grow so you are right - like always.
I wanted to keep it simple. Nothing to complicated to read.
Always gotta try and keep it positive. It's good for the soul - like you!
The ending is my favorite part. Sometimes walking around I have found feathers here and there. It just came to me - are you brave enough to pick it up and write. It takes courage to share yourself with people in that way - writing. Confidence will come - but the first time sharing your words can be intimidating - but so worthwhile.
As always - thanks for the love big sexy!
Thanks - I'm trying different thigs here and there - gotta keep things interesting!!
Stretching is mandatory to grow so you are right - like always.
I wanted to keep it simple. Nothing to complicated to read.
Always gotta try and keep it positive. It's good for the soul - like you!
The ending is my favorite part. Sometimes walking around I have found feathers here and there. It just came to me - are you brave enough to pick it up and write. It takes courage to share yourself with people in that way - writing. Confidence will come - but the first time sharing your words can be intimidating - but so worthwhile.
As always - thanks for the love big sexy!
Re. Once Upon A Death
4th Nov 2023 11:55pm
Re: Re. Once Upon A Death
6th Nov 2023 1:42am
Hi Cisco:)
What a lovely thing to say. This one was a bit longer then normal. - thanks
for hanging in there amigo:)
What a lovely thing to say. This one was a bit longer then normal. - thanks
for hanging in there amigo:)
Re. Once Upon A Death
6th Nov 2023 2:14am
Very inspiring and insightful. Enjoyed the read and the positive vibe it gave me!
JJ
JJ
1
Re: Re. Once Upon A Death
6th Nov 2023 2:18am
Hi JJ:)
Glad you enjoyed it.
I know it's a tad long so thanks for taking a look.
Thanks for the RL too!
Glad you enjoyed it.
I know it's a tad long so thanks for taking a look.
Thanks for the RL too!
Re. Once Upon A Death
6th Nov 2023 11:21am
Just this morning I found a piece of note paper in the vestibule of my building. It was blank on the side up but I knew there was writing on the back. I shoved it in my pocket and walked my dog at an unholy hour. Daylight Savings Time gives no quarter to a dog that must go out to do her business.
Upon returning home I retrieved the crumpled paper from my pocket and turned it over half expecting a shopping list but hoping for poem written in long hand. It was neither. It was a receipt from Seemless for a food delivery to one of the apartments.
What does this have to do with your poem ? Well nothing really. But made up folklore is wondrous craft and the fantasy of a lost poem on a scrap of paper is a different allure. Bottom line, pen and paper ....
A fine tale you've spun Hot Sauce 🔥
As Francisco says often, keep on writing...
BIG LIKE
Upon returning home I retrieved the crumpled paper from my pocket and turned it over half expecting a shopping list but hoping for poem written in long hand. It was neither. It was a receipt from Seemless for a food delivery to one of the apartments.
What does this have to do with your poem ? Well nothing really. But made up folklore is wondrous craft and the fantasy of a lost poem on a scrap of paper is a different allure. Bottom line, pen and paper ....
A fine tale you've spun Hot Sauce 🔥
As Francisco says often, keep on writing...
BIG LIKE
1
Re: Re. Once Upon A Death
11th Nov 2023 1:45am
Hey PS!
So sorry for the late response!! I got sick. ughhh
Was miserable - stayed home for two days.
Thanks for your snaps on this write buddy - I'm glad you enjoyed.
I loved your little story.
Thanks for giving me a smile:)
So sorry for the late response!! I got sick. ughhh
Was miserable - stayed home for two days.
Thanks for your snaps on this write buddy - I'm glad you enjoyed.
I loved your little story.
Thanks for giving me a smile:)
Re. Once Upon A Death
20th Nov 2023 3:18am
You are an endlessly creative writer, Adelphina. Most times I'm noy big on narrative poetry but this one surely swept me off my feet. The epic tone coupled with loads of mythical/natural imagery did the trick for me. Thank you for sharing!
Mundus
Mundus
1
Re: Re. Once Upon A Death
1st Dec 2023 2:28am
Hi Mun!!
Sorry for the late response on this.
I was on vacation and just got back.
I'm so happy you enjoyed this.
Sometimes I hear a voice talking in my mind - I'm just the medium at times.
This is an example of that. My muse just kept talking and I kept writing:)
Thanks again for the amazing comment - made my evening!
Sorry for the late response on this.
I was on vacation and just got back.
I'm so happy you enjoyed this.
Sometimes I hear a voice talking in my mind - I'm just the medium at times.
This is an example of that. My muse just kept talking and I kept writing:)
Thanks again for the amazing comment - made my evening!
Re. Once Upon A Death
Anonymous
2nd Mar 2024 1:52am
Wowsers Adelphina, brilliantly written, very visual illustration, really enjoyed this. Purple luv & hugs 💜
1
Re: Re. Once Upon A Death
2nd Mar 2024 2:02am
Hi FG:)
Sometimes when you write - it's like your not. When the words come
quickly and you hope you catch each one before they disappear.
This is one of those writes:)
Thanks for checking it out.
I'm also happy to see you onsite more often:)
Sometimes when you write - it's like your not. When the words come
quickly and you hope you catch each one before they disappear.
This is one of those writes:)
Thanks for checking it out.
I'm also happy to see you onsite more often:)
Re. Once Upon A Death
11th Apr 2024 4:03am
A really amazing story… it makes you think ..of why how and who was it that gave us that feather
1
Re: Re. Once Upon A Death
18th Apr 2024 1:48am
Hi Sam,
Thank you for that. I've been on hiatus for a while.
It was so nice to log on and see
that you've checked out a few of my writes.
This write took me for a ride. It streamed in my mind and I started
writing.
I'm so happy you enjoyed:)
Thanks for the RL.
Thank you for that. I've been on hiatus for a while.
It was so nice to log on and see
that you've checked out a few of my writes.
This write took me for a ride. It streamed in my mind and I started
writing.
I'm so happy you enjoyed:)
Thanks for the RL.