Wish

 
Wish I could love you…
But all it’s doing is killing me…
There’s nothing for me to do
When your first reaction is to get angry.
Wish I could love you
But frankly,
You scare me…
A man out of control of his emotions,
Is a man that holds no safety.
A man just so angry…
Angry At the world it seems…
Angry at everyone in it.
especially me.

Wish you understood…
This world isn’t yours for the taking.
Wish you understood
& could learn from all the mistakes you keep making.
Wish you knew how to accept accountability…
But all you know to do is to shift blame
Over to me.
To the one girl who loved you.
Unconditionally.

Wish I could love you still.
But the lack of conditions
… was always the problem…
I always let it go,
Waited for it to “get better”
Because that was
what you promised.

Wish I could love you still…
But it’s hard for you to be nice to me.
Hard for me to correct you on anything…
Without you growing irritable…
And oh so angry.
Hard because someway some how,
Your sick mind has deluded things,
And you think that I asked for
The fucked up way you have to talk to me.

I wish I could have loved you.
Wish being a nice girl was actually worth all the trouble…
There’s no up,
There’s no down…
Simply put:
There’s no more room.
Because you have so much inner work to do…
Even though something tells me you’ll just skip that part
And find yourself another desperate fool.