I Air Guitared A Baby (It's not as bad as it sounds)
We were once so inebriated
That we exorcised my sister
Pressed a cross against her head
It smouldered and left a blister..
She was writhing around the floor
Of her lysergic lounge
She writhed and writhed some more
Levitated off the ground..
Have you ever been so wasted
To walk home in someone else's shoes?
When it happened to me last
I'd been slapping thighs to Billy String's blues..
Have you ever been so in the zone
That you played air guitar with a plastic baby?
My sister in between laughing fits
Managed to mutter "Help Me!"
Maggot brain was playing
Eddie Hazel's electric riff
That plastic baby's limbs became maluable
They were anything but stiff..
The Viagra Boys came on next
I played that baby like a saxophone..
Once the song had finished
I promised to be normal, then I went home..
So whenever you hear tales of hedonism
Of someone bigging it up, acting crazy..
Look them dead in the face and ask...
"You ever air guitared a baby??"