The Straight People Express

We’re boarding an exclusive automobile.
This transport doesn’t carry LGBT people.
 
If homosexuals are waiting on the road,
We’ll pass them and we won’t look back.
 
If we see any lesbians hitchhiking,
We won’t stop and give them a lift.
 
If stranded bisexuals flag down the vehicle,
We’ll just pretend not to see them.
 
If transgender people ask for a ride,
We won’t let them travel with us.
 
But if we meet heterosexuals along the wayside,
We’ll stop and say, “Welcome aboard.”