pessimism

 
pessimism stoic in its presentation sneaks up on me
negative feelings I'm used to them
I've always been this way
I hate the attitude

still, it's there

I can't get away from myself
so I am here sitting with negative Nelly
serious sullen thoughts
I burn with them

my need hurts
cunted truths can't be denied
so is it really pessimistic to think the worst?
delusional thinking it saying it will be alright
it most likely won't

I keen inside
I carry this feeling with me everywhere
it sits on my chest
makes itself comfy
I get a good look at the emotion

it's ugly

too real is the glum
it is reality sitting big and larger than life
too much really to deal with

inside me a hurricane
wildly turning
it hurts this pain
I cringe with the thought
I can't stop the feeling

it's a strobe light
can't block it out
it needs my attention

I ignore the feeling
it gets bigger on me
here we go

I have nowhere to hide
nowhere to get out of my head
so I'm going to sleep
maybe it will be better tomorrow