deepundergroundpoetry.com
Didn't Take You Because You Were Pretty
The opposite babe
You were cagey
Barbed wire
Yeah you looked fine
But fucked up beyond rhyme
I didnt take you because you were pretty
I've got enough pretty
I took you because you screamed
Nothing came out
I squeezed you hard
That frigging maneuver
Nothing worked
You were fading fast
Code Blue
Ambulance came
Worked on you
Closed eyelids
Nothing they could do
Sheet about to cover your eyes
Then miracle on the avenue
You blinked and sighed
Looked around and then your smile
Didn't take you because you were pretty
Took you because you didn't give up
Now or then
We've got history babe
Today, tomorrow till forever
You were cagey
Barbed wire
Yeah you looked fine
But fucked up beyond rhyme
I didnt take you because you were pretty
I've got enough pretty
I took you because you screamed
Nothing came out
I squeezed you hard
That frigging maneuver
Nothing worked
You were fading fast
Code Blue
Ambulance came
Worked on you
Closed eyelids
Nothing they could do
Sheet about to cover your eyes
Then miracle on the avenue
You blinked and sighed
Looked around and then your smile
Didn't take you because you were pretty
Took you because you didn't give up
Now or then
We've got history babe
Today, tomorrow till forever
Published 6th Aug 2023
Author's Note
Listening to an old Graham Parker song,
"Temporary Beauty".. Man that guy can write and sing...
So I wrote this ..
Painting by Poetspeak
"Temporary Beauty".. Man that guy can write and sing...
So I wrote this ..
Painting by Poetspeak
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 3
comments 20
reads 224
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
(I guess I need to comment more to get more RL thingies.)
Like I said yesterday, your recent writes are definitely becoming more tuned to a finer poetic expression. As if you had an epiphany?! You're kicking ass!
It's awesome to see your flexing this literary ability more so.
I love the artwork, obviously. I'm a visual type, for all things artistic. I envy your expressive paints. Yet it's the words that grab my attention, and you definitely have here. You're smoking that poetry pen!
Keep doing this!
(Yay, I gained an RL to give!)
Like I said yesterday, your recent writes are definitely becoming more tuned to a finer poetic expression. As if you had an epiphany?! You're kicking ass!
It's awesome to see your flexing this literary ability more so.
I love the artwork, obviously. I'm a visual type, for all things artistic. I envy your expressive paints. Yet it's the words that grab my attention, and you definitely have here. You're smoking that poetry pen!
Keep doing this!
(Yay, I gained an RL to give!)
Wow Mark
I don't know what to say.
It's high praise and I appreciate it.
My writing is like playing basketball, the more you let the game come to you, the better your output !
Art is an anytime thing for me, I've been doing it my whole adult life but lately the words are visiting me more.
I was lifting weights and listening to music today and this poem just wrote itself while I was doing my end of workout stretching.
This is a BIG THANKS
I'll try to keep bringing it and thanks for the coveted RL !
I don't know what to say.
It's high praise and I appreciate it.
My writing is like playing basketball, the more you let the game come to you, the better your output !
Art is an anytime thing for me, I've been doing it my whole adult life but lately the words are visiting me more.
I was lifting weights and listening to music today and this poem just wrote itself while I was doing my end of workout stretching.
This is a BIG THANKS
I'll try to keep bringing it and thanks for the coveted RL !
6th Aug 2023 9:35pm
Some very cool poeting- repetition, rhyming, etc. The slowing down you mentioned seems to be working. While this poem has some extra, it's also good minimalism. Intense drama in a small space. Well done.
6th Aug 2023 9:44pm
Yeah, the poems used to come to me in fragments or phrases and I feel like that’s happening again. I used to listen to a lot of Graham Parker and he always influences me when I listen to him. He flies under the radar for many people. He was very active in the 80s and 90s. One of my favorite British soul rock players …
Thanks Wendy !!
Thanks Wendy !!
7th Aug 2023 2:58am
7th Aug 2023 11:51am
7th Aug 2023 3:45am
Dear PS,
Amazing story/poem. It felt like someone out there cares. That was very touching for me. The painting is a great accompaniment because there is chaos going on. As it would be if someone is coding and needs emergency medical care. Well done!
H🌷
Amazing story/poem. It felt like someone out there cares. That was very touching for me. The painting is a great accompaniment because there is chaos going on. As it would be if someone is coding and needs emergency medical care. Well done!
H🌷
7th Aug 2023 11:58am
Dear H,
You never know when you will be called into action to try and save someone. It's gratifying that this write and painting touched you on human emotions. A lot of things are going by the wayside these days so saving someone is a noble gesture.
Thank you so much H, your comment warms me !
🤠❤
You never know when you will be called into action to try and save someone. It's gratifying that this write and painting touched you on human emotions. A lot of things are going by the wayside these days so saving someone is a noble gesture.
Thank you so much H, your comment warms me !
🤠❤
7th Aug 2023 2:40pm
7th Aug 2023 3:11pm
Truly wrote itself once I got a few lines in.
I love when that happens..
BIG THANKS James !
I love when that happens..
BIG THANKS James !
7th Aug 2023 11:06pm
Cagey and barbed wire... lol
Well I have to protect myself somehow.
Not that it helped all that much.
Why did I leave those openings?
Because I always need to be filled.
And I can definitely be loud.
But the screams sound so good don't they?
Squeezing me hard... what a maneuver.
But I wasn't really fading fast.
I just wanted to be worked on...
Needed to be worked on so bad.
Mouth to mouth resuscitation.
and a hard banging to pound the heart.
That's what I need! Till forever...;)
Well I have to protect myself somehow.
Not that it helped all that much.
Why did I leave those openings?
Because I always need to be filled.
And I can definitely be loud.
But the screams sound so good don't they?
Squeezing me hard... what a maneuver.
But I wasn't really fading fast.
I just wanted to be worked on...
Needed to be worked on so bad.
Mouth to mouth resuscitation.
and a hard banging to pound the heart.
That's what I need! Till forever...;)
7th Aug 2023 11:11pm
I know those screams
You are LOUD
Remember that time I asked you for proof...
Well I got it
WOW
I saved you for that forever...
I'd do it again
In a heartbeat 💓
You are LOUD
Remember that time I asked you for proof...
Well I got it
WOW
I saved you for that forever...
I'd do it again
In a heartbeat 💓
8th Aug 2023 7:16am
I get this a gozillion percent. To al the not so pretty girls....may we rule the fucking world...you know we will... love you. <3
8th Aug 2023 11:56am
Of course you will !
We cherish you ❤
Onward
Save us from ourselves
Peace out
BIG YO
We cherish you ❤
Onward
Save us from ourselves
Peace out
BIG YO
10th Aug 2023 2:36am
Very cool storytelling! With lots of great PoetSpeak style... maybe even some rhyming. I dig it.
❤️k
❤️k
10th Aug 2023 2:51am
Yeah some rhyme
I'm not a big rhyme fan but somehow it fit here. I was channeling writing a song / poem here maybe. Possibly even some rap, who knows
Glad you liked it
You would know about songs Red 🎵 💌❤💯
Thanks
I'm not a big rhyme fan but somehow it fit here. I was channeling writing a song / poem here maybe. Possibly even some rap, who knows
Glad you liked it
You would know about songs Red 🎵 💌❤💯
Thanks
11th Aug 2023 1:56pm
You have fine stories to tell, good paintings to show,
and a friendly approach with words. happiness to you .Salutations.
and a friendly approach with words. happiness to you .Salutations.
11th Aug 2023 2:12pm
21st Aug 2023 2:36am
"fucked up beyond rhyme" something about this line that is cool, twisted and relatable. But the "we've got history" creates those bonds that stand the test of time.
Great work sir. BL.
Great work sir. BL.
21st Aug 2023 2:48am
