Sometimes

Sometimes...
I like to close my eyes
when Im in the shower
while the water beats
steady heat over my body
instantly calming me
as I retreat into the steam
that surrounds me like a cocoon
I call this the cleansing of my tired soul
at least until the water gets cold

Sometimes...
I wake up late...late in the midnight
hours..when the darkness has more power
because my dreams have tried to devour me
so I go walking ....until I wind up
In someone elses neighborhood...
because life wont let me sleep.

Sometimes...
I feel raw inside as if my
thoughts have jagged edges
leaving pieces and wedges
of me to pierce my very soul
leaving me open ... and exposed
and I realize there is no remedy
that can pull me back together
because... I only fall apart
when I NEED to.

Sometimes...
I want much more than I should have
because im not always able to discern
my wants from my needs..though I have
spent time pondering I believe that
sometimes we can want something so much
that it becomes a need.

Sometimes.....
I cry when it rains
and not because of any special
reason...sometimes..
that's just how I feel

Sometimes...
I overwhelm myself with
Life....and everything in it
and everyone in it..
and I get angry because I cant
fix everything for
everyone all the time
Shit.. I can barely fix anything
for my self... and then I remember that

Sometimes....
that is just life..
and I am only human
so how I feel
and what I go through
is ...okay
Sometimes...just knowing that
makes it possible to get up
and make it through the next day
just one day at a time