I found myself when they left
You found some body new.
I found somebody too.
The spirit that you crushed when you walked out the door.
The broken little girl you left cying on the floor.
The woman who deserved the world, but you don’t love her anymore.
The pretty little flower you never had time to water.
“It’s already dead so why would you bother.”
Don’t say that you’re sorry cuz I wouldn’t believe you.
Don’t ever come back cuz I’ll never need you.
I spent all my time picking up the pieces that you left behind.
While you found somebody new, just to erase me from your mind.
I didn’t get that luxury.
I was overcome with misery.
Right where you left me.
Yet, I never gave up.
When I was at my lowest,
craving release and high was the closest, I got.
It wasn’t what I thought it would be.
Digging myself out from my grave.
Removing the chains.
I will no longer be a slave,
to the pain.
I won’t take the blame.
I won’t carry the weight anymore.
This isn’t how life is supposed to be.
Loosing all the ones that were close to me.
Desperately in need of a sign,
someone please tell me why I’m still alive.
I took my heart up off the shelf.
I stopped to look inside of myself.
I have to do what’s best for my health.
I had to do it by myself.
Day after day I’d wake up alone.
No missed calls or messages on my phone.
I sat there and cried.
Wondered why they all lied.
Said that they’d be there through thick and thin.
But my skin isn’t thick enough,
to handle all the excuses and all the denial.
What is love? I haven’t felt it in awhile.
When you decided I wasn’t worth your time.
All you ever did was criticize.
I could never do anything right in your eyes.
I was wasting my breath and wasting my time.
Trying to help you see it from my side.
You see what you want to see and thats fine with me.
I won’t be there,
But I hope someday,
you’ll see that there is more than just your way.
I found that little girl broken and alone.
I held her close and gave her a home.
When she needed somebody to love her.
The kind you’d find inside a mother.
It was no where to be found.
She was left to drown,
in her sadness.
They called it madness.
How long does it take to grieve?
This is why you shouldn’t where your heart on your sleeve!
I just want to be kind.
That doesn’t mean I’m blind to “users”.
I just choose to be better than my abusers.