deepundergroundpoetry.com

Crux

I don't think I ever
learned how to trust
inconsistency
it will never be enough
colorblind
every flag is red

self sabotage
I feel incompetent
my deepest need
my deepest regret
I build my walls
and torment myself

don't need nobody
I'll be by myself
now I'm alone and
I need someone else
knife in my back
hallucination or reality

I just need to breathe
it's suffocating me
this never ending cycle
bleeds into eternity
I'm bursting at the seams
somebody hear me scream

No! at night I wrap the cord
my tears brimming as I choke
needles penetrate from the inside out
and I know I'm better off alone

ghosts screaming from the mirror
sink my teeth into her deeper
lose the fight against the fever
I wear my marks. I am unashamed.

it will always be this way
this pain is the price I pay
for giving all myself away
pedestal for my suffering