Pain

It's hard for me to admit this
But I still miss you
I miss you like crazy
Even though nobody hurt me like you did
I have met others
I have caught feelings too
However there are days when I just think of you
And it makes me sad
Because I really did think that you were the one
I didn't think I'd be back in the dating scene
It feels strainge getting to know someone knew.
It's been years now and I should be over you
However if you walked back into my life
I'd give it a thought or a thousand of them
Logically I know it makes no sense
Because every time you're mentioned
It's like the wound reopens again
Our break up made me feel like dead weight
Especially since I watched you prosper after me
We still walk the same path so I always run into you
If only I knew, I would've kept it platonic
Now I'm the only one hurting
I don't feel like loving again
It really hurt me the last time
Even though I find some prospects
I think of fucking them more than loving them
Then I hate myself even more for the time wasted
I wish I could die and not feel this way
Yet every day I keep going on
I don't know what I did to endure this
I'm not even the person you would've loved
I'm the one everyone eventually forgets about
So when things feel this cold
I feel like watching the world burn
Just so I can feel it's warmth
This is nothing I can ever admit
So I sit here silently working
While my heart keep wailing

I thought I closed this door a while ago
However I have to admit as to why
I've never fully given anyone else a chance
I hated my last break up
I had to just keep going
I don't think I've healed from it
If I tell anyone this they'll probably think I'm insane

Honestly, just tired of living