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My Memories of Mary
- My Memories of Mary -
- (A faithful relating of a dream I had upon the night of Sunday, the seventh of May, in the year 2023.) -
In the dream I had last night, it began where I was walking down a forest road between two towns. It was back in some bygone era of the ancient past... but which, I could not say. Only that for certain it did seem to be back in “ancient times” so to speak. I was trying to get to a village by the name of Aldrae. It was far off, and there was a forest near the side of the road, and through which the road wound for a bit of a distance as well up farther than where I was at that moment. Out of the forest, there came a woman who told me a very strange story and asked me for her help. She was dressed in a black hooded cloak... with a gray sash tied about her waist, with her feet shod in sandals. She was an older woman, probably middle-aged, and seemed quite anxious and nervous. The forest looked dark, and I had a great dread of it for some unknown reason. I was not expecting to encounter anyone just then, for the road through the area I was traveling through was not well traveled or used too often even by the villagers of Aldrae who typically preferred a different road out of their village. But this road was the one that led to where I had just come from, and so it was the best for me to make use of. The woman's story was as I shall relate...
She had said unto me: “Oh good! You, must be the one my husband sent for. There is a great need for you in Aldrae, and he had a very specific message that he wanted me to deliver for you hear.” I did ask the woman to tell me what the message was, and if possible tell me her name as well. She replied: “No time to tell you my name! But this is the message I was told to impart: 'A good while ago, my wife and I were in the forested woodlands that lay nearby the village, and therein we had the misfortune to be in all honesty and truth captured and taken prisoner by goblin folk. The goblins took us to their realm, and it was a realm beneath the earth. There, they brought us into the captivity of their dark elvish masters. It was a long servitude, seemingly, but even though this was a realm from which none escape alive, we so managed to escape. That this could happen so close to Aldrae bodes not well at all. So heed what it is to be certain that my wife shall tell you, for it is most important. Our escape cost me my very life!'. And it was thus given unto me to impart this message unto you, sir. They say you are a sorcerer of some repute and touched by the gods of old. If that be true, then surely you will be able to help us. What had it been that was in my husband's letter unto you, master sorcerer?” I thought about it for a moment... I had prior to embarking from my home upon this mission burned that letter, as the letter itself instructed me. I did say unto the dark-robed and black-cloaked woman: “He only said in it that the village was in peril and I would be wise to come to its' aid... for in the past, the village celebrated a noble deed I had done for this one certain noble family from a neighboring city. He said I should come as quickly as I could. But one thing I do not understand is this... if his escape from the forbidden realm beneath the earth did take his very life from him, then how did your husband write me that letter? It was not dated, so was it sent unto me before you two were taken in the woods... or, was it written by another, which would indicate that you have more than one husband, one of whom lives and is fearful for you both.” After a brief pause, it did occur to the woman to tell me this in response to my questions: “Nay, I only have one husband but I do have another man that I am sweet upon and who dotes upon me. I wish not to speak of that, though... for fear it would imperil him. For I and my husband made enemies in the forbidden realm. It was, in all truth, this other man who penned that letter in order to bring you out here to aid our village. Following my husband's death by a dark elvish poisoned arrow, he has been my sole comfort in life. In any case, I need to hurry back to the village and get off the road soon. Terrible things happen along this road as the hour of dusk approaches and the gods begin to look the other way before the fall of night! Farewell I so say unto you, master sorcerer. Get off the road yourself soon, else it shall be too late to regret it.” Then, the woman ran towards the forest and was gone. I wondered what was so terrible, that it would make it preferable to dare those perilous woodlands rather than remain on the seemingly less dangerous road. It did not make sense, nor did much of the woman's story. But, I had come this far! So, why venture back?
Suddenly, there was the thunderous sound of hoof beats... at first, I took it to be drums... and all of a sudden, coming up the road behind me from I know not where was a large horde of horsemen. Not one of these men and women were human looking, but instead were very much like unto elvish folk... but a lot more savage, paler, and with almost a bestial quality to them. The thick furs and dark leathers that I saw they wore made this beast-like nature even more apparent, and their pointed ears were knife-like in a very different way than most normal elvish people I had met in the past. Their mouths were full with fangs, for their teeth had been filed to points... and their faces and flesh bore ritual scarring that did thus make them appear quite hideous to behold. The local folk called them Orcs, a word meaning Demons. I felt fear at their approach and seeing that they intended me harm I began to run from them... for in such a number as they had to their advantage, I stood no chance in a fight against them. These, I realized, had to be the dark elvish folk who had made prisoners of that woman and her husband. They would, I was certain, do the same to me if they could... but I did not intend to give them the chance. The entrance to their underground realm had to be nearby, for these... creatures... did not like the sun as much they did the moon, and the night was their time. This close to dusk, they were risking things more than usual for their kind, and that thought disturbed me greatly. With the Orcs in pursuit, their harsh guttural cries of wrath carrying upon the early autumn breeze... I ran with all my strength for the forest as the woman so had instructed me. I ran, and the Orcs rode in pursuit... they would surely catch me if they made for the woods, for they were on horseback and I was on foot. But soon, I reached the woods and they did hold back as they saw me enter therein. I could hear a loud explosion coming from where I had left them as I fled, and I glanced behind me to see fire back just outside the forest where the Orcs had lingered. Fire, smoke, and the cries of screaming Orcs carrying through the air even within the green refuge wherein I currently found myself running. They would be pursuing me no longer, but whatever had dealt them so blazing an end, I did not wish to meet. Tales of dragons were commonplace in these lands, and I had no desire to meet one face to face. I turned to the woods before me, a great mix of pines, oaks, and a great many other trees. Evergreens mixed with early autumn colors, and some leaves had already fallen unto the forest floor. The air was crisp and clean, but not cold. Not quite yet. That would come when the first frost hit the land, and after that the inexorable seasonal march towards winter would begin. For now, I could not worry about the weather or the seasons... dusk was coming, and with it night. I wanted to get as close to the village as possible before long. With that in mind, and also the realization there were no trails to follow here... save for the occasional animal and hunters' trails... I tried to keep track of which direction the road had been in, in an attempt to keep parallel to it if I could. I could follow it still, that way, without actually being upon it... and I would not get lost. But as the sky grew darker and the fair gilded colors of the afternoon sunlight through the trees began to fade more and more... I knew it was about to be nightfall, and I felt a bit of fear. I carried a walking staff with me, and had a dagger sheathed at my belt, but otherwise I carried no weapons for the fighting of wild animals. Nothing helpful against teeth or claws. And barely helpful against human animals either! All I could do was keep rushing ever onward, trying to reach the village that I knew had to be not far away. That, was how things got worse.
Ahead of me, in the woods before me, I could hear the sounds of people laughing. And yet, no one at all was there to be seen! I beheld a clearing in the distance, and knew that to be the source of the sound. But no matter how close to the clearing I got, as I approached... slowing my pace to a cautious walk... I did not see any signs of life whether animal or human at all. And yet, it sounded like a grand party, or a celebration, was going on there. I wanted to know why this was, but I feared some otherworldly trap at worst... or at best, and that is not saying much, I feared a thieves' ruse. Robbers oft set upon travelers in woods such as these, using occasionally deceptive means to ensnare them. I saw a shimmering of light, in the exact center of the clearing. Above, the first stars of evening began to twinkle within the heavens.
I slowly made my way to the shimmering, and as soon as I did it became less bright and more subtle. Curious, I touched it but it may as well have been air for my hand passed through the shimmering. As soon as it did, I was no longer in a clearing in the woods, but in a great hall like unto a feast hall. About me was a great multitude of people having a celebration. A mighty fire pit was in the center of the hall, smoke riding up through a hole in the thatch roof. The timbers of the pillared hall were mighty, and the rafters were high. Food and drink flowed freely here, and the people were elvish in appearance. With an uncanny beauty and a sense of childlike wonder about them. Men, women, and children were here. The children played, the women sometimes sang, and the men sometimes did as well in between telling epic stories of histories the like of which I had never heard related before. Shields decorated the walls, as did tapestries of delicate craftsmanship, and spears were laid in piles here and there. I was careful not to cut myself by getting too close, to those. Bows were kept on racks, arrows in barrels next to the racks. All, near the walls of this great hall. The music of harps and flutes resounded, and drums as well, and there was dancing and merrymaking of every variety. The clothes worn by these people were finer than those of any human nobility, and I had the feeling I was no longer in the world that I had left behind. Many of the elvish people looked and stared at me, some seeming to recognize me even though I had never met any of them previously in my life. I sat down at a table not far from the fire pit, and tried to collect my thoughts. I had been trying to reach the village of Aldrae... but now, there was likely no way I would be getting there anytime soon. A person could linger in the faerie realms and emerge from it with time not precisely as it had been when they entered. And they themselves could emerge changed! I had to think, wait, and see what it was that awaited me here. The music was all around me, and I felt a bit enchanted.
A little elvish boy walked over to me, he were brightly colored silken garments consisting of eastern styled baggy pantaloons, a sleeveless blouse, and a soft velvety vest. Pointed slippers adorned his feet, and he had a strongly effeminate quality to him. He appeared between eleven and twelve years of age... but I knew that, he being elvish, he had seen far more human years than that. In that way, he had seen a good deal more of life than even I had! And in the dream I was the same age I am right now in waking life, that being forty nine years old. His hair was long, fair, and worn in a feminine style. At first, I took him to be a girl rather than a boy, until I saw his mannerisms and hear the way he said certain things to me when he spoke. And he said unto me, his voice light and lovely: “So... you're, mister Grey! I can see why they decided to bring you here. You've got a... way about you... that causes it to make sense. Could you pick out the prettiest girl here, if you had to?” I looked about me, and found all the girls here to be fair and incredibly beautiful... far more so than any human girl I had ever beheld. I could not pick one to say she was the most so, and so I decided to flatter the boy instead. I said unto him: “I certainly find you to be more beautiful than any girls I ever knew back where I come from! What do I get... if I pick you?” I winked at him and smiled slyly as I said that. He then sat on my lap, put his arms around me, and said in a mirthful manner: “How about this, mister Grey?” and he kissed me forcefully and passionately, his lips meeting mine as our tongues mingled in a lovers' kiss. I began to feel a stirring in my loins for the boy, and he noticed it as my hardness poked his buttocks a bit. He wiggled in a way that aroused it that much further, and I sighed and then smiled broadly following the ending of our kiss. The boy noticed I found this pleasurable, and did not mind as my hands rubbed his thighs and went higher until I found at last all the confirmation I needed that this was indeed a boy. His body felt very good beneath the silk of his garments, and noticing my fondness for him he said unto me: “It is all casual here, with us! Not like back in the mortal world, where there are taboos, restrictions, and laws that govern even love. Here, we let our hearts govern love, and our bodies thank us greatly for that. There is a girl who has been asking after you though, and she really is the prettiest of the lot gathered here this day. Her name is Mary, and she claims to be your wife. Ever had an elvish wife, mister Grey? Well, it seems you do... in any case.”
I said to the boy, in a surprised tone: “Mary is here?” for, indeed, in this dream I did remember having a wife named Mary, and that she awaited me in this place was not expected. The boy adjusted himself on my lap so he could caress me between my legs with his hands, and he bade me close my eyes as he did begin to pleasure me. He undid the drawstring on my own baggy pantaloons, which though not silk were of a silky enough material, and he took my manhood out from my undergarments... playing with it skillfully. More skillfully than many prostitutes I had known the comforts of. He said to me as he did go to work upon me in this way, the following: “Yes, Mary will be with the other children over to the left side of the hall from where we are sitting right now. Since she is your wife, you should be able to recognize her well enough! You want me to go all the way with you, or would you like to save some of your passion for her?” I smiled, and said to the boy in reply: “Finish me off, and I am certain I will still have a great deal left over for Mary. I doubt, she will want me to go at it with her straight away, in any case.” The boy said in a seductive tone: “No problem, lover! Just keep your eyes closed, and think how much you find me attractive to you.” I did exactly that, feeling him with my hands as he brought me to a full and warm orgasm with with his own. He was beginning to get hard for me as well, and I rubbed and fondled him ever more vigorously until his pants felt wet and his body shuddered as he reached his climax rather quickly. He had been wearing no undergarments, and the scent of his orgasm was thick in the air, as was my own. He got off of my lap and went to fetch a wash basin, and some towels, after so doing he cleaned me between my legs and went to work removing his pants and cleaning himself. He had brought a change of pantaloons with him, and after he was fully washed he dressed himself quickly. I put my manhood back from whence the boy had retrieved it, and tied my pants once more as I stood up. I kissed the boy one more time, thanked him for the good time and the information about Mary, and I walked over to the children after that to see if she was indeed among them. Mary was around the same age as that boy, and she had long curly raven black hair that she always wore up in a high ponytail. She was a bit on the stocky side... with a round and pleasant face that always seemed to be smiling. She had dusky skin, dark brown eyes, and an earthy beauty to her that because of her half elvish blood was of an ageless, perfect, and highly idealized quality unknown in human girls. Of a certainty, she would be a lot lovelier than any other girl present in this place, and that is why I knew I would recognize her at once if she was present. She was there, with two other girls, and they were chatting away and comparing dolls to see which doll was the cutest of the ones heaped upon the nearby table. I called out, to her: “Mary!”
She spun around to see me and smiled even brighter than I had ever remembered her so doing before. She wore a deep wine-red dress of some silky material that resembled the kind of dresses worn in those bygone days of ancient Greece wherein the gods still walked the earth in company with mortals. About her waist was a white-colored girdle which resembled two embroidered belts, which crossed over one another. And she wore a pair of white sandals upon her feet, in a stark contrast to her darkly toned skin. Being only half elvish, her ears were just a bit tapered rather than more sharply pointed at the tips. It is not an exaggeration to say that her skin though dark shone somewhat with a kind of inner radiance, and the effect was subtle rather than obvious. Faint, rather than bright. But it was there if you looked for it! I looked for it every time I stood in Mary's presence, and I was glad for doing so. “Mister Grey! How I have been waiting for you to get here... it seems like forever. And maybe it was! You cannot really tell, in this other world you know.” she said on her eyes meeting mine. She had the manners and personality of a grown woman, though her melodic voice matched her seeming physical age in that it was youthful. She rushed into my arms, and we embraced lovingly. She gazed up at me, for she was rather short for her age, and said to me sweetly and tenderly: “Husband, we really should remain here! This place has everything... everything. And time stops whilst we are here too.” I told her of the events that brought me to this place, and she replied: “That village... it burned down... years ago! Did you not know that?”
I confessed to her, that it was still standing before I ran into those woods, though knowing the realms of faerie I was certain Mary was right, and that it was too late to save that village from whatever befell it. Then, Mary asked me to come with her to a nearby storage chamber, where we could be alone. I did as she wished, and accompanied her to it. There, we spent several hours talking, catching up on life and eventually making love together as well. Once we had our way with each other, for we went at it with a certain ferocious passion akin to ravishment, we dressed ourselves once more and began to speak of all manner of things. Mary told me: “There is a castle outside this mead hall, and therein is said to be some kind of ancient cathedral beneath a series of catacombs. The Holy Grail is said to lie within, and though we are too late to save that village... discovering something lost for so many ages would be a boon to all who yet live in these lands elsewhere. But! Even if the artifact does nothing, it is still a worthy thing to go in quest of. So, how about it! What say you... Mister Grey?” I kissed her passionately, even more so than I had that boy previously, and I said unto her following that pleasurable kiss: “Mrs. Grey, I think it is a splendid idea! How soon can we depart for the castle?” All of a sudden, a massive sounding and at once roaring explosion resounded from the great hall. Mary and I rushed out from the storage room and beheld the back half of the mead hall utterly broken asunder, the rubble, wood, and thatch of it smoking as fire began to spread everywhere. The fair folk were fleeing through shimmering portals, until soon it was that the hall was totally abandoned by its' inhabitants. Mary and I could see no cause for this sort of an explosion, but beyond the broken section of the hall... the forest could be seen, and towering before us with its' whole facade appearing covered in vines and growth was the castle. If this mead hall lay in the center of that clearing, then that meant the castle lay just beyond it. Yet, neither the mead hall or the castle had been there before I crossed through that shimmering in order to get here. This could only be a mirror of the mortal world within the other world of the fair folk, and within it things were obviously a lot different. The front of the castle was likewise obliterated, as had the back of the mead hall been... all was broken, shattered, smoking rubble there and destroyed stonework. Where once had clearly stood an imposing gatehouse complete with a wooden gate and portcullis... all lay in ruins, so that one could just easily walk on into the castle and reach its' keep with nothing to stop them. We did exactly that, and as we reached the keep we found that its' oaken doors were not locked and opened easily enough. This did seem to be the second time a fiery explosion happened within the vicinity of this forest. Yet, if it had in fact been a dragon there was no sign of any such creature in the skies above. It was the middle of night, the moon was high in the heavens, and all was so quiet that you could hear nothing but crickets and the occasional night birds. Whilst I know now that this had been within a dream... during this dream, I was convinced of the reality of everything going on in it, and so the logic of dragons seemed quite logical to assume within the context of the dream's world. The inside of the castle was lit with torches and lamps as if people still dwelt within it, even though the exterior looked long abandoned and within there were webs and dust and all looked uninhabited to the point of ruination. Mary led me through the halls of the castle's keep, and the keep was quite massive indeed both outside and within. She felt a certain instinct that was pulling her to go in a very specific direction... a very clear path through the maze like series of rooms, chambers, and hallways. I trusted her intuition always, as well as my own, and whatever was the source of this pull... it was better than stumbling about with no clear direction in mind. We came to the entrance to an underground area that could be reached by way of a deep stone stairwell set into the floor of the keep's lowest cellar level. A wooden trapdoor accessed those stairs, and Mary and I descended. It was pitch black below, so before going downward we grabbed a lamp and several flasks of fuel for it. I held the lamp before us, and led the way... going where Mary indicated. We passed through an ancient wine cellar, then a winding serious of catacombs wherein the dead of ages long past were interred, and the smell of old death mixed with that of musty and stale air. It was like intruding upon a tomb, and this did not feel right at all. Even so, we needed to press onward in order to find where the old cathedral lay.
All of a sudden, we stopped and Mary said totally out of the blue: “Another village is burning, and we cannot hope to save it.” Then, the ghost of a young woman rushed towards us from the darkness of the catacombs ahead and screamed: “My village! It is burning... help me save it, help me please.” but as she passed behind us I saw that she vanished as if she had never been there at all. Then Mary shook it off as she explained: “No, it is not burning any longer... her village hasn't existed in thousands of years. These are ancient catacombs, ridiculously ancient. A strange place to hide the Holy Grail!” I told her that I did agree, and we continued our search. Soon, Mary felt that we should go in a new direction and that led us down a series of almost ramp-like downward sloping hallways and corridors. These were a lot more decorated, and the dead were not placed in niches set into the walls here unlike elsewhere we had been in this underground place. There were no dead here, at all, in fact. Only intricate carvings, statues, and long faded tapestries tattered into worthlessness by time. Pairs of tall pillars supported elegantly curved arches that we passed beneath, until soon we reached the long forgotten cathedral. It was not, however, a Christian cathedral at all... instead, it was an old Pagan temple from some bygone period of history no one remembers any longer. The ceiling was high and vaulted, with Gothic architecture... only, it was of an era long before that style of architecture was even invented yet. There were sharp angles, and strange shapes to the pillars and columns that lined the cathedral's halls. Twisting shapes, snakelike and weird to look upon. The benches and pews of the cathedral's central worship area were broken apart and there was no furniture within it that was intact any longer. The statues of gods and goddesses within the place all appeared demonic and twisted in shape and form. Whatever this place had one been, no mortal eyes were meant to behold it! And yet therein we walked... a mortal and a half elvish girl... searching for the Holy Grail in a part of the other world in which such a thing should not be. I felt nervous and fearful as I looked about, and some bizarre and perverse impulse drove me to squeeze Mary between her legs in a rather obscene manner. She smiled at me and said of it: “Well! I love you too, but now is not at all the right time to be indulging our mutual lust for each other. Something is very... wrong... here.” I saw an altar at the far end of the gargantuan worship area, and I walked towards it with Mary right behind me. I should not have noticed it in the utter darkness of that place, but I did only because there was a glinting of something shiny coming from that direction as I moved my lantern about. When we reached the old altar, which was of rough stone and carved with various occult symbols and images, we saw that upon it was a golden chalice decorated with emerald gemstones. “Could this be the Holy Grail?” Mary asked and I said to her honestly: “In a way, I supposed you could say that it is.” The cup was filled with either blood or red wine. It was impossible to know whichever it was. I handed the cup to Mary and said unto her: “I have the feeling it is you who are supposed to drink from this, but I believe I should go first just to make certain it is safe.” She agreed and said: “Definitely, you go first!” And I did exactly that. I did sip from the cup, finding the taste of the liquid it contained to be coppery and very much like the taste of blood. I only drank a little, yet the cup refilled by itself until it was full once again. Just as soon as I did notice this, however, a bright bolt of yellowish light did burst downward from above like a pulse of energy. It struck me and all went black. The chalice flew from my hand, I dropped the lantern, and after that I knew that I had been knocked into unconsciousness by that strange bolt of... whatever it had been.
It was a dreamless state in which I lay then... ironic given this was all a dream to begin with... and all about me was a gulf of utter blackness wherein time had no meaning. It was not death, it was also not a kind of oblivion either, for I was aware... it was simply a dreamless slumber. When I opened my eyes at last, I was within a dark chamber somewhere else underground. The only light came from my lamp, as it sat on a wooden table in the center of... wherever I was. The golden chalice was there too, and a chair like unto a throne was set in front of the table. Mary lay unconscious on the floor, next to where I lay. I stood up and saw that a young woman of about fifteen years of age was sitting herself upon that throne.
She wore a black medieval style gown with long, wide sleeves. The gown was black, but with silvery embroidery and white trim. The gown was belted at the waist with a white sash that was decorated with a blood red cross upon it. The girl removed the sash, kissed it, then set it upon the table before her. Her hair was raven black, her skin was chalk white, and her eyes were a vibrant shade of blue. She looked, at once, both familiar to me and strange at the same time. I gave up trying to place where I thought that I knew her from, and listened instead to what she told me once she saw that I was awake. Her face was emotionless, her manner serious as she said: “I am the daughter of a knight who himself was in truth a descendant of the man whom history, myth, and legend records as having bore the name of Bedivere. A knight was my father, of a deeply secretive order that now operates only in secret... and in this timeless dream, my spirit is of a want to sometimes linger, so that I can try to communicate with certain who are worthy to receive what only I may offer them. You sought the Holy Grail... in this place? You know the truth of its' nature, and that this cup is therefore worthless! But even so, this chalice is not for the world of humanity especially today in these modern times. For aye, back in the waking world it is the modern era... and through the gates of dreams you have stumbled into the other world of the fair folk. Here, we still keep secrets that even my father's knightly order could scarcely have ever imagined! Here, we test the ones we deem worthy and reward those who pass these tests. I am not of the fair folk, but I hold to their ways, their traditions, and their magic. I want you to do something for me... abandon Mary, doing so only because I ask that you do, and come with me to my village. There, I will reward you before it is time for you to awaken form this dream. What say you?” I looked over at Mary, and found that I could not abandon her, no matter what was offered me. I said to the woman: “I will not do as you ask. Further you have not even done the courtesy of telling me your name! Nor have you asked me for my own. This makes me suspicious of your motivations, and loathe to trust you.” The woman then smiled serenely as she said unto me: “My name is Lily. Your own name is already known to me, as is the actual reason all in this part of the other world know you by the name of Grey. It matches your morality, which is hardly black and white! You are... beyond conventional mores and ethics in many ways, are you not? Even in dreams though, you maintain your honor. But how deep does that honor go, I wonder! What happens if you are pressed too far?” Lily then snapped her fingers, and Mary writhed in pain. I asked her to stop... but the pale woman would not listen to me, and she snapped her fingers again, once more inflicting no end of pain on the unconscious girl. Then, I grew angry with her and I seized the chalice in my hands, preparing to smash it upon the stone floor. I said unto Lily: “If you do that one more time, I will smash this damned artifact until it lies in pieces, its' gemstones scattered upon the floor! Then, if you persist in hurting her, I will put you in the ground myself along with whatever remains of this... worthless... cup.” Lily stood up from the throne and glared at me hatefully. She then said: “Then do as I say! Come with me to my village, and abandon Mary to her fate. I am not asking you! I am commanding you.” I then sat the chalice unto the floor and grabbed Lily by the hair, making sure she felt the pain of it. I then said to her sternly: “And who are you, to command me? Who are you, to hurt her! The far lesser daughter of a man far greater and nobler than she shall ever be. That is what you are. Not a princess, not a queen, not a goddess to pass judgment over others! Only a little girl... with a very bad temper. Want to see mine?” Lily then spat on me, and said: “I know what you are capable of, beast! Devil! Monster! I hoped that I could be able to redeem you... but it seems that you do not understand the rules here. You would prefer to match pain for pain, it seems. Very well, then!” and she made ready to snap her fingers again, but as soon as I saw her going to I grabbed her hand and squeezed it very hard, warning her: “If you snap your fingers one more time, I will break your fingers so you cannot! Then... I will show you what pain really is all about. Why can Mary not come with us to your village? I do not understand your reasoning, and I despise your cruel methods. Tell me, girl! What is the reason why you want me all to yourself? Ah! I do see it now... you want me, all to yourself. Very well, Lily, if you want me that badly, you will have me.”
I then grabbed her breasts, which were round and full to the touch, and began to lick her face like the beast she had called me. She screamed and shrieked... and then I grabbed her by the hair again and then on so doing bent her over the table. I pulled the skirts of her dress up to her waist, tore off from her the undergarments she wore, and then flipped her over unto her back before spreading her legs apart with my hands. I forced myself between then and... hard with lust... pushed the shaft of my manhood into the wetness of her feminine flower. I tore the front of her gown, revealing her breasts, and began to take my pleasure of the woman, having my way with her roughly. I licked her breasts, then her face, in between my thrusts as I forced myself in and out of the girl named Lily. She stopped screaming, stopped fighting me after a bit, and began to cry piteously... surrendering herself to the ravishment I inflicted upon her. I ran my hands through her hair as I did let loose a full orgasm into her... keeping going afterwards to see if her own body would betray her, which it predictably did. She did spasm a bit as climax came to her... whether she wanted it to, or not... and I kept going in and out of her, once we had both climaxed, taking my fill of savoring the girl's delights. Then, once I was spent and withdrawing my soaked member from her... I pulled her hair as hard as I dared, but not as hard as I could have. She lost no hair in that, but did indeed understand the meaning of pain. On many levels, given she had been a maiden to start with. But now, she was bleeding from having her maidenhood taken from her, and she realized at last she was a virgin no more. She wept, screaming at me the following: “You bastard! I was a virgin... I was pure and devout as per my father's wishes. You had no right, to take all of that away from me!” Then I laughed in an evil manner and said unto the girl, being very certain to gaze deeply into her eyes as I did so: “If your faith demands such purity in order to be true... it is no proper faith, at all! And, if you find it lost merely because I took your virginity... then you never had it to begin with, not truly. Tell me then, Lily... where is your faith now?” Lily could not answer, only sob and weep without ceasing as she lay atop the table and stared into the darkness above. I picked up the golden chalice and walked over to Mary. I called to her, and she awakened. I then pointed to the table where the ravished girl named Lily writhed in pain of both physical and spiritual variety. I said to Mary about her: “She kept... hurting you somehow, so I had to stop her. I am... sorry, if you think I went too far in doing so. In hindsight, perhaps I honestly did.” I saw the look of horror on Mary's face once she realized just what it was that I had done to Lily. But that look was quickly gone, as she said unto me: “I would never hurt anyone, myself... not like she did unto me, and certainly not like you did unto her! But, let us get out of here now, before something worse can befall either of us. This place is evil, and I think it brings out the worst evils within us all. Even I find... thoughts that I never realized I had... playing through my mind. And it is horrible!” But it seemed to us that the more we walked in any direction the more aimlessly we wandered in darkness. Even the bright light of the lantern seemed dim and useless against the gloom present in this part of the underground. I wondered why the lamp did not help, and before long Mary and I became hopelessly lost. “This place is like some kind of netherworld... all shadows, darkness, and mists by the look of it.” I exclaimed, and as I did so Mary remarked: “Yes! That is precisely what I think this place is. Oh my goodness, darling! Is it possible I am dead... that I have been dead all this time... even since before we met in the mead hall?” Was this a dream, after all, or had I actually passed beyond dreams without meaning to and ended up as it seemed crossing through the other world of the fair folk and beyond it... into the realm of the dead? It would explain everything, including why Lily wanted me to leave Mary behind. After all, if Mary was the spirit of a woman who had been my wife in a previous life long ago... then she was long dead, and it was not right that I should linger in this afterlife even to spend time with her. But, I was loathe to leave her side... for I was trapped in the memory of who I was when she was my wife, and I was unable at all to break free from it. In the distance, there was a grate set into a rough looking stone wall. Through it, I could see the forest once more. I grabbed Mary by the hand and said unto her: “Come, my love! There, in the distance.. look, it is a way out of here. If we can open that grate, we can escape this awful place.”
And as we approached, Mary began to despair, more and more. She looked up at the grate in the wall, sadly, and said unto me: “I cannot go back with you! I have to remain here, with the dead. I am... not of the living, any longer. And the time for my rebirth has not come yet either. If I passed through that grate then I would become a wandering spirit... and I would seek to remain with you, but you would perceive it as a haunting, and I would not want to visit that upon you. Remember me, then! Remember your old love, Mary, and think of this place no further once you awaken and are among the living once more. Let me drink from the sacred chalice, then leave it in my keeping. I will be a better guardian for it than Lily ever was... yes, I know her. I remember who she was, now. In life!” I then handed the chalice over into the waiting hands of Mary. We kissed, lovingly and deeply, and after that... she drank from the cup. She drank all the blood from it, and this time the chalice did not refill itself. Following that, Mary collapsed unto the floor and fell into a deep slumber, still holding the empty chalice in her hands. I had no heart to go to the grate and open it... it was bright and fully daylight outside that grate... back in the reality of the waking world, it was well past morning and would be midday soon. But Mary looked so sad and lonely as she lay upon the floor of this terrible place. Then I heard a voice saying unto me: “Mary does not see this place like this, she is currently in a dream of her own... a dream all the dead dream... and, in that, it is a paradise she walks through. She will remember this adventure you shared together, for during it you both shared the same dream together for a time. Though it was no paradise, because it was formed from pieces of memories of lives, times, events and moments from the past. All things you shared when she still walked in living flesh! In many lives, in many times, now all long gone. Even what transpired just now between you and Lily was only an echo of a moment from the past. She will only recall it as such, when she returns to the state she was in before you chanced upon her. As for myself... think not far too deeply on musing over who or what I am! Know only, that I am a voice of truth and reason.” I laid my body down next to Mary, caressed her hair, and began to cry. “I am so sorry, Mary! Sorry for what I did to Lily, and in doing that betrayed you. I am sorry for carrying on with that boy as I did also... when all I ever truly wanted, I realize now, was you. I love you! With all my heart, and soul. And, I will not leave your side, not even now.” The voice then returned, and it said: “Yes, you will! Because this too is only a memory, and a grim one... one you must not think about. The day Mary died, of fever, whilst still so young... in the dark cellar of the manor house you shared together. You laid there with her one last time as the poison you took claimed your life. For you could not imagine a life or a world without her in it!” It was then that I recognized that this voice... it was my own voice, but much older by far. I began to not just remember, but to relive, my final moments from that life that even now I was trapped within. I had given Mary the healing mixture which I had purchased from a local herbalist for her, and it did good at first... kept the fever away, kept her from getting sicker... until it stopped working when the illness got to be too strong for the medicine to help any longer. She collapsed in the cellar, after going down there in order to fetch some fresh fruit for us to eat. I came down to check on her when hours passed and she did not come back up; I thought to help her get the fruit to bring up, only to find her dead. Looking as if she had simply fallen asleep. Yet, nothing I did could rouse her from that dreadful state in which she so reposed. That state being death. I then ran on back upstairs, where I so grabbed the chalice in which her medicine had been prepared each and every day, as many times a day as the healer had said was needed, and I filled it with the same poison we always used to dispose of rodents. There servants were all busy about their various chores, and I had not the heart to tell them what it was that I was about to do. And the unbearably heartbreaking reason why I was about to do it at all. I ran back downstairs, then sat on down next to Mary on the floor... the light shining through the grate in the cellar wall... as I drank that chalice full of poison, and waited for death to come and take me to Mary's side. She was not breathing, she looked so sad... I caressed her hair, began to cry and sob uncontrollably as the poison ravaged its' way through my body. I turned away for a moment, to throw up... for nausea came upon me suddenly.
I kept on throwing up until the coughing started, followed by the blood that issued forth from out of my mouth. As I began to perish, once I was certain I was dying... I turned back over, feeling at first hot and then increasingly cold. Colder and colder, without any end to the chillness. I kept caressing Mary's hair, staring into her seemingly asleep face, and trying to say the words “I love you!” as much as I could manage to say them with even my capacity for speech failing. Death was upon me then! Everything did sound far away, and all began to go dark as my breathing came harder and harder until it felt like a true chore just to breathe. I slipped into darkness when the breathing became impossible and my body began to convulse. I felt a sense of panic, of fear and urgency as I died... my lungs were filled with blood and fluid... and I could attempt to speak no more. My final thoughts were loving thoughts of my Mary... as my final act was caressing her soft, dark hair. The last sight I ever saw was that of her soft brown eyes as I gazed into them. “I love you so much!” I thought, “So much, it hurts.” and that was the last time I could think anything before I passed away into death's embrace in order to be with Mary. “I remember it all now!” I exclaimed, and I stood up and began to approach the grate. “This is why I was brought to this place, tonight. Today.” I remarked. “Thank you!” I screamed at the void above and all around me. For I would otherwise have probably never remembered any of this had something not made certain to bring me here... to the domain of the dead... so I could. I hesitated to leave, looked back at Mary, but as I did so the ravages of time began to decompose her body. I did not want to look upon that horror, and so I said to her: “Farewell, Mary my love! Dream of me always... just as tonight, we dreamed together.” And I opened the grate, which flooded my vision with a bright and blinding white light. All was white.
“Some sorcerer I was... if I could not save the life of my beloved, then all the magic I studied was as good as useless.” I heard a voice saying and knew the voice was my own. A despairing memory from a time long, long past into memory caused me to remind myself of how useless I felt the day I lost Mary to her illness. Then, a woman's soft and gentle voice said to me: “You were not useless! You tried your best to save her, as did the healer... but there are some things no one has the power to alter. For even the gods do not always know when the time is at hand for someone to die. Death takes even they unawares, from time to time! And one cannot easily raise the dead. It is not as simple as rousing one slumbering... from the grasp of dreams.” Then, the white light that was all around me, surrounding me, and a part of me at the exact same time... it began to fade, until once it had departed I saw that I was standing on the road next to that forest once again. That place, in the other world, which lay so close to the realm where the dead dwell. I could hear, the sound of children playing coming from the woods, and within them the shimmering forms of Mary and the other girls from the elvish mead hall were playing happily without a care in the world. “If you must remember me, my love, then remember me in a happy way!” she did say to me, in my mind, as if it did not matter the distance between us. I then saw that a sort of manifestation of myself, so danced with her... a memory of me, that she kept in her heart, forever. Somewhere deep in my own heart, there was a memory of her as well... and it matched this moment completely. One of our happiest memories... one of our happiest times together! It was after we had just been wed, and she and her young friends took me out to the woods nearby the manor house, there to dance and play together as if I too was a child just like they all were. Though, I was the only adult in their midst... I felt like a child again in that hour... and I knew a delight approaching rapture that rivaled anything I ever experienced in the throes of passion. For this was something more innocent, more pure, and more perfect. It was in the midst of beholding this beautiful moment and remembering that perfect memory, that I awakened from my dream to see that it was indeed nearly midday. A good half hour from noon, just as I had seen in the dreaming state. Throughout the day today, I penned this so that I would remember all of this and never forget, no matter how many years may pass. This was the night I recalled my memories of sweet Mary! For both good times and bad... in distant past or current present, combined... make us as we are today.
- (A faithful relating of a dream I had upon the night of Sunday, the seventh of May, in the year 2023.) -
In the dream I had last night, it began where I was walking down a forest road between two towns. It was back in some bygone era of the ancient past... but which, I could not say. Only that for certain it did seem to be back in “ancient times” so to speak. I was trying to get to a village by the name of Aldrae. It was far off, and there was a forest near the side of the road, and through which the road wound for a bit of a distance as well up farther than where I was at that moment. Out of the forest, there came a woman who told me a very strange story and asked me for her help. She was dressed in a black hooded cloak... with a gray sash tied about her waist, with her feet shod in sandals. She was an older woman, probably middle-aged, and seemed quite anxious and nervous. The forest looked dark, and I had a great dread of it for some unknown reason. I was not expecting to encounter anyone just then, for the road through the area I was traveling through was not well traveled or used too often even by the villagers of Aldrae who typically preferred a different road out of their village. But this road was the one that led to where I had just come from, and so it was the best for me to make use of. The woman's story was as I shall relate...
She had said unto me: “Oh good! You, must be the one my husband sent for. There is a great need for you in Aldrae, and he had a very specific message that he wanted me to deliver for you hear.” I did ask the woman to tell me what the message was, and if possible tell me her name as well. She replied: “No time to tell you my name! But this is the message I was told to impart: 'A good while ago, my wife and I were in the forested woodlands that lay nearby the village, and therein we had the misfortune to be in all honesty and truth captured and taken prisoner by goblin folk. The goblins took us to their realm, and it was a realm beneath the earth. There, they brought us into the captivity of their dark elvish masters. It was a long servitude, seemingly, but even though this was a realm from which none escape alive, we so managed to escape. That this could happen so close to Aldrae bodes not well at all. So heed what it is to be certain that my wife shall tell you, for it is most important. Our escape cost me my very life!'. And it was thus given unto me to impart this message unto you, sir. They say you are a sorcerer of some repute and touched by the gods of old. If that be true, then surely you will be able to help us. What had it been that was in my husband's letter unto you, master sorcerer?” I thought about it for a moment... I had prior to embarking from my home upon this mission burned that letter, as the letter itself instructed me. I did say unto the dark-robed and black-cloaked woman: “He only said in it that the village was in peril and I would be wise to come to its' aid... for in the past, the village celebrated a noble deed I had done for this one certain noble family from a neighboring city. He said I should come as quickly as I could. But one thing I do not understand is this... if his escape from the forbidden realm beneath the earth did take his very life from him, then how did your husband write me that letter? It was not dated, so was it sent unto me before you two were taken in the woods... or, was it written by another, which would indicate that you have more than one husband, one of whom lives and is fearful for you both.” After a brief pause, it did occur to the woman to tell me this in response to my questions: “Nay, I only have one husband but I do have another man that I am sweet upon and who dotes upon me. I wish not to speak of that, though... for fear it would imperil him. For I and my husband made enemies in the forbidden realm. It was, in all truth, this other man who penned that letter in order to bring you out here to aid our village. Following my husband's death by a dark elvish poisoned arrow, he has been my sole comfort in life. In any case, I need to hurry back to the village and get off the road soon. Terrible things happen along this road as the hour of dusk approaches and the gods begin to look the other way before the fall of night! Farewell I so say unto you, master sorcerer. Get off the road yourself soon, else it shall be too late to regret it.” Then, the woman ran towards the forest and was gone. I wondered what was so terrible, that it would make it preferable to dare those perilous woodlands rather than remain on the seemingly less dangerous road. It did not make sense, nor did much of the woman's story. But, I had come this far! So, why venture back?
Suddenly, there was the thunderous sound of hoof beats... at first, I took it to be drums... and all of a sudden, coming up the road behind me from I know not where was a large horde of horsemen. Not one of these men and women were human looking, but instead were very much like unto elvish folk... but a lot more savage, paler, and with almost a bestial quality to them. The thick furs and dark leathers that I saw they wore made this beast-like nature even more apparent, and their pointed ears were knife-like in a very different way than most normal elvish people I had met in the past. Their mouths were full with fangs, for their teeth had been filed to points... and their faces and flesh bore ritual scarring that did thus make them appear quite hideous to behold. The local folk called them Orcs, a word meaning Demons. I felt fear at their approach and seeing that they intended me harm I began to run from them... for in such a number as they had to their advantage, I stood no chance in a fight against them. These, I realized, had to be the dark elvish folk who had made prisoners of that woman and her husband. They would, I was certain, do the same to me if they could... but I did not intend to give them the chance. The entrance to their underground realm had to be nearby, for these... creatures... did not like the sun as much they did the moon, and the night was their time. This close to dusk, they were risking things more than usual for their kind, and that thought disturbed me greatly. With the Orcs in pursuit, their harsh guttural cries of wrath carrying upon the early autumn breeze... I ran with all my strength for the forest as the woman so had instructed me. I ran, and the Orcs rode in pursuit... they would surely catch me if they made for the woods, for they were on horseback and I was on foot. But soon, I reached the woods and they did hold back as they saw me enter therein. I could hear a loud explosion coming from where I had left them as I fled, and I glanced behind me to see fire back just outside the forest where the Orcs had lingered. Fire, smoke, and the cries of screaming Orcs carrying through the air even within the green refuge wherein I currently found myself running. They would be pursuing me no longer, but whatever had dealt them so blazing an end, I did not wish to meet. Tales of dragons were commonplace in these lands, and I had no desire to meet one face to face. I turned to the woods before me, a great mix of pines, oaks, and a great many other trees. Evergreens mixed with early autumn colors, and some leaves had already fallen unto the forest floor. The air was crisp and clean, but not cold. Not quite yet. That would come when the first frost hit the land, and after that the inexorable seasonal march towards winter would begin. For now, I could not worry about the weather or the seasons... dusk was coming, and with it night. I wanted to get as close to the village as possible before long. With that in mind, and also the realization there were no trails to follow here... save for the occasional animal and hunters' trails... I tried to keep track of which direction the road had been in, in an attempt to keep parallel to it if I could. I could follow it still, that way, without actually being upon it... and I would not get lost. But as the sky grew darker and the fair gilded colors of the afternoon sunlight through the trees began to fade more and more... I knew it was about to be nightfall, and I felt a bit of fear. I carried a walking staff with me, and had a dagger sheathed at my belt, but otherwise I carried no weapons for the fighting of wild animals. Nothing helpful against teeth or claws. And barely helpful against human animals either! All I could do was keep rushing ever onward, trying to reach the village that I knew had to be not far away. That, was how things got worse.
Ahead of me, in the woods before me, I could hear the sounds of people laughing. And yet, no one at all was there to be seen! I beheld a clearing in the distance, and knew that to be the source of the sound. But no matter how close to the clearing I got, as I approached... slowing my pace to a cautious walk... I did not see any signs of life whether animal or human at all. And yet, it sounded like a grand party, or a celebration, was going on there. I wanted to know why this was, but I feared some otherworldly trap at worst... or at best, and that is not saying much, I feared a thieves' ruse. Robbers oft set upon travelers in woods such as these, using occasionally deceptive means to ensnare them. I saw a shimmering of light, in the exact center of the clearing. Above, the first stars of evening began to twinkle within the heavens.
I slowly made my way to the shimmering, and as soon as I did it became less bright and more subtle. Curious, I touched it but it may as well have been air for my hand passed through the shimmering. As soon as it did, I was no longer in a clearing in the woods, but in a great hall like unto a feast hall. About me was a great multitude of people having a celebration. A mighty fire pit was in the center of the hall, smoke riding up through a hole in the thatch roof. The timbers of the pillared hall were mighty, and the rafters were high. Food and drink flowed freely here, and the people were elvish in appearance. With an uncanny beauty and a sense of childlike wonder about them. Men, women, and children were here. The children played, the women sometimes sang, and the men sometimes did as well in between telling epic stories of histories the like of which I had never heard related before. Shields decorated the walls, as did tapestries of delicate craftsmanship, and spears were laid in piles here and there. I was careful not to cut myself by getting too close, to those. Bows were kept on racks, arrows in barrels next to the racks. All, near the walls of this great hall. The music of harps and flutes resounded, and drums as well, and there was dancing and merrymaking of every variety. The clothes worn by these people were finer than those of any human nobility, and I had the feeling I was no longer in the world that I had left behind. Many of the elvish people looked and stared at me, some seeming to recognize me even though I had never met any of them previously in my life. I sat down at a table not far from the fire pit, and tried to collect my thoughts. I had been trying to reach the village of Aldrae... but now, there was likely no way I would be getting there anytime soon. A person could linger in the faerie realms and emerge from it with time not precisely as it had been when they entered. And they themselves could emerge changed! I had to think, wait, and see what it was that awaited me here. The music was all around me, and I felt a bit enchanted.
A little elvish boy walked over to me, he were brightly colored silken garments consisting of eastern styled baggy pantaloons, a sleeveless blouse, and a soft velvety vest. Pointed slippers adorned his feet, and he had a strongly effeminate quality to him. He appeared between eleven and twelve years of age... but I knew that, he being elvish, he had seen far more human years than that. In that way, he had seen a good deal more of life than even I had! And in the dream I was the same age I am right now in waking life, that being forty nine years old. His hair was long, fair, and worn in a feminine style. At first, I took him to be a girl rather than a boy, until I saw his mannerisms and hear the way he said certain things to me when he spoke. And he said unto me, his voice light and lovely: “So... you're, mister Grey! I can see why they decided to bring you here. You've got a... way about you... that causes it to make sense. Could you pick out the prettiest girl here, if you had to?” I looked about me, and found all the girls here to be fair and incredibly beautiful... far more so than any human girl I had ever beheld. I could not pick one to say she was the most so, and so I decided to flatter the boy instead. I said unto him: “I certainly find you to be more beautiful than any girls I ever knew back where I come from! What do I get... if I pick you?” I winked at him and smiled slyly as I said that. He then sat on my lap, put his arms around me, and said in a mirthful manner: “How about this, mister Grey?” and he kissed me forcefully and passionately, his lips meeting mine as our tongues mingled in a lovers' kiss. I began to feel a stirring in my loins for the boy, and he noticed it as my hardness poked his buttocks a bit. He wiggled in a way that aroused it that much further, and I sighed and then smiled broadly following the ending of our kiss. The boy noticed I found this pleasurable, and did not mind as my hands rubbed his thighs and went higher until I found at last all the confirmation I needed that this was indeed a boy. His body felt very good beneath the silk of his garments, and noticing my fondness for him he said unto me: “It is all casual here, with us! Not like back in the mortal world, where there are taboos, restrictions, and laws that govern even love. Here, we let our hearts govern love, and our bodies thank us greatly for that. There is a girl who has been asking after you though, and she really is the prettiest of the lot gathered here this day. Her name is Mary, and she claims to be your wife. Ever had an elvish wife, mister Grey? Well, it seems you do... in any case.”
I said to the boy, in a surprised tone: “Mary is here?” for, indeed, in this dream I did remember having a wife named Mary, and that she awaited me in this place was not expected. The boy adjusted himself on my lap so he could caress me between my legs with his hands, and he bade me close my eyes as he did begin to pleasure me. He undid the drawstring on my own baggy pantaloons, which though not silk were of a silky enough material, and he took my manhood out from my undergarments... playing with it skillfully. More skillfully than many prostitutes I had known the comforts of. He said to me as he did go to work upon me in this way, the following: “Yes, Mary will be with the other children over to the left side of the hall from where we are sitting right now. Since she is your wife, you should be able to recognize her well enough! You want me to go all the way with you, or would you like to save some of your passion for her?” I smiled, and said to the boy in reply: “Finish me off, and I am certain I will still have a great deal left over for Mary. I doubt, she will want me to go at it with her straight away, in any case.” The boy said in a seductive tone: “No problem, lover! Just keep your eyes closed, and think how much you find me attractive to you.” I did exactly that, feeling him with my hands as he brought me to a full and warm orgasm with with his own. He was beginning to get hard for me as well, and I rubbed and fondled him ever more vigorously until his pants felt wet and his body shuddered as he reached his climax rather quickly. He had been wearing no undergarments, and the scent of his orgasm was thick in the air, as was my own. He got off of my lap and went to fetch a wash basin, and some towels, after so doing he cleaned me between my legs and went to work removing his pants and cleaning himself. He had brought a change of pantaloons with him, and after he was fully washed he dressed himself quickly. I put my manhood back from whence the boy had retrieved it, and tied my pants once more as I stood up. I kissed the boy one more time, thanked him for the good time and the information about Mary, and I walked over to the children after that to see if she was indeed among them. Mary was around the same age as that boy, and she had long curly raven black hair that she always wore up in a high ponytail. She was a bit on the stocky side... with a round and pleasant face that always seemed to be smiling. She had dusky skin, dark brown eyes, and an earthy beauty to her that because of her half elvish blood was of an ageless, perfect, and highly idealized quality unknown in human girls. Of a certainty, she would be a lot lovelier than any other girl present in this place, and that is why I knew I would recognize her at once if she was present. She was there, with two other girls, and they were chatting away and comparing dolls to see which doll was the cutest of the ones heaped upon the nearby table. I called out, to her: “Mary!”
She spun around to see me and smiled even brighter than I had ever remembered her so doing before. She wore a deep wine-red dress of some silky material that resembled the kind of dresses worn in those bygone days of ancient Greece wherein the gods still walked the earth in company with mortals. About her waist was a white-colored girdle which resembled two embroidered belts, which crossed over one another. And she wore a pair of white sandals upon her feet, in a stark contrast to her darkly toned skin. Being only half elvish, her ears were just a bit tapered rather than more sharply pointed at the tips. It is not an exaggeration to say that her skin though dark shone somewhat with a kind of inner radiance, and the effect was subtle rather than obvious. Faint, rather than bright. But it was there if you looked for it! I looked for it every time I stood in Mary's presence, and I was glad for doing so. “Mister Grey! How I have been waiting for you to get here... it seems like forever. And maybe it was! You cannot really tell, in this other world you know.” she said on her eyes meeting mine. She had the manners and personality of a grown woman, though her melodic voice matched her seeming physical age in that it was youthful. She rushed into my arms, and we embraced lovingly. She gazed up at me, for she was rather short for her age, and said to me sweetly and tenderly: “Husband, we really should remain here! This place has everything... everything. And time stops whilst we are here too.” I told her of the events that brought me to this place, and she replied: “That village... it burned down... years ago! Did you not know that?”
I confessed to her, that it was still standing before I ran into those woods, though knowing the realms of faerie I was certain Mary was right, and that it was too late to save that village from whatever befell it. Then, Mary asked me to come with her to a nearby storage chamber, where we could be alone. I did as she wished, and accompanied her to it. There, we spent several hours talking, catching up on life and eventually making love together as well. Once we had our way with each other, for we went at it with a certain ferocious passion akin to ravishment, we dressed ourselves once more and began to speak of all manner of things. Mary told me: “There is a castle outside this mead hall, and therein is said to be some kind of ancient cathedral beneath a series of catacombs. The Holy Grail is said to lie within, and though we are too late to save that village... discovering something lost for so many ages would be a boon to all who yet live in these lands elsewhere. But! Even if the artifact does nothing, it is still a worthy thing to go in quest of. So, how about it! What say you... Mister Grey?” I kissed her passionately, even more so than I had that boy previously, and I said unto her following that pleasurable kiss: “Mrs. Grey, I think it is a splendid idea! How soon can we depart for the castle?” All of a sudden, a massive sounding and at once roaring explosion resounded from the great hall. Mary and I rushed out from the storage room and beheld the back half of the mead hall utterly broken asunder, the rubble, wood, and thatch of it smoking as fire began to spread everywhere. The fair folk were fleeing through shimmering portals, until soon it was that the hall was totally abandoned by its' inhabitants. Mary and I could see no cause for this sort of an explosion, but beyond the broken section of the hall... the forest could be seen, and towering before us with its' whole facade appearing covered in vines and growth was the castle. If this mead hall lay in the center of that clearing, then that meant the castle lay just beyond it. Yet, neither the mead hall or the castle had been there before I crossed through that shimmering in order to get here. This could only be a mirror of the mortal world within the other world of the fair folk, and within it things were obviously a lot different. The front of the castle was likewise obliterated, as had the back of the mead hall been... all was broken, shattered, smoking rubble there and destroyed stonework. Where once had clearly stood an imposing gatehouse complete with a wooden gate and portcullis... all lay in ruins, so that one could just easily walk on into the castle and reach its' keep with nothing to stop them. We did exactly that, and as we reached the keep we found that its' oaken doors were not locked and opened easily enough. This did seem to be the second time a fiery explosion happened within the vicinity of this forest. Yet, if it had in fact been a dragon there was no sign of any such creature in the skies above. It was the middle of night, the moon was high in the heavens, and all was so quiet that you could hear nothing but crickets and the occasional night birds. Whilst I know now that this had been within a dream... during this dream, I was convinced of the reality of everything going on in it, and so the logic of dragons seemed quite logical to assume within the context of the dream's world. The inside of the castle was lit with torches and lamps as if people still dwelt within it, even though the exterior looked long abandoned and within there were webs and dust and all looked uninhabited to the point of ruination. Mary led me through the halls of the castle's keep, and the keep was quite massive indeed both outside and within. She felt a certain instinct that was pulling her to go in a very specific direction... a very clear path through the maze like series of rooms, chambers, and hallways. I trusted her intuition always, as well as my own, and whatever was the source of this pull... it was better than stumbling about with no clear direction in mind. We came to the entrance to an underground area that could be reached by way of a deep stone stairwell set into the floor of the keep's lowest cellar level. A wooden trapdoor accessed those stairs, and Mary and I descended. It was pitch black below, so before going downward we grabbed a lamp and several flasks of fuel for it. I held the lamp before us, and led the way... going where Mary indicated. We passed through an ancient wine cellar, then a winding serious of catacombs wherein the dead of ages long past were interred, and the smell of old death mixed with that of musty and stale air. It was like intruding upon a tomb, and this did not feel right at all. Even so, we needed to press onward in order to find where the old cathedral lay.
All of a sudden, we stopped and Mary said totally out of the blue: “Another village is burning, and we cannot hope to save it.” Then, the ghost of a young woman rushed towards us from the darkness of the catacombs ahead and screamed: “My village! It is burning... help me save it, help me please.” but as she passed behind us I saw that she vanished as if she had never been there at all. Then Mary shook it off as she explained: “No, it is not burning any longer... her village hasn't existed in thousands of years. These are ancient catacombs, ridiculously ancient. A strange place to hide the Holy Grail!” I told her that I did agree, and we continued our search. Soon, Mary felt that we should go in a new direction and that led us down a series of almost ramp-like downward sloping hallways and corridors. These were a lot more decorated, and the dead were not placed in niches set into the walls here unlike elsewhere we had been in this underground place. There were no dead here, at all, in fact. Only intricate carvings, statues, and long faded tapestries tattered into worthlessness by time. Pairs of tall pillars supported elegantly curved arches that we passed beneath, until soon we reached the long forgotten cathedral. It was not, however, a Christian cathedral at all... instead, it was an old Pagan temple from some bygone period of history no one remembers any longer. The ceiling was high and vaulted, with Gothic architecture... only, it was of an era long before that style of architecture was even invented yet. There were sharp angles, and strange shapes to the pillars and columns that lined the cathedral's halls. Twisting shapes, snakelike and weird to look upon. The benches and pews of the cathedral's central worship area were broken apart and there was no furniture within it that was intact any longer. The statues of gods and goddesses within the place all appeared demonic and twisted in shape and form. Whatever this place had one been, no mortal eyes were meant to behold it! And yet therein we walked... a mortal and a half elvish girl... searching for the Holy Grail in a part of the other world in which such a thing should not be. I felt nervous and fearful as I looked about, and some bizarre and perverse impulse drove me to squeeze Mary between her legs in a rather obscene manner. She smiled at me and said of it: “Well! I love you too, but now is not at all the right time to be indulging our mutual lust for each other. Something is very... wrong... here.” I saw an altar at the far end of the gargantuan worship area, and I walked towards it with Mary right behind me. I should not have noticed it in the utter darkness of that place, but I did only because there was a glinting of something shiny coming from that direction as I moved my lantern about. When we reached the old altar, which was of rough stone and carved with various occult symbols and images, we saw that upon it was a golden chalice decorated with emerald gemstones. “Could this be the Holy Grail?” Mary asked and I said to her honestly: “In a way, I supposed you could say that it is.” The cup was filled with either blood or red wine. It was impossible to know whichever it was. I handed the cup to Mary and said unto her: “I have the feeling it is you who are supposed to drink from this, but I believe I should go first just to make certain it is safe.” She agreed and said: “Definitely, you go first!” And I did exactly that. I did sip from the cup, finding the taste of the liquid it contained to be coppery and very much like the taste of blood. I only drank a little, yet the cup refilled by itself until it was full once again. Just as soon as I did notice this, however, a bright bolt of yellowish light did burst downward from above like a pulse of energy. It struck me and all went black. The chalice flew from my hand, I dropped the lantern, and after that I knew that I had been knocked into unconsciousness by that strange bolt of... whatever it had been.
It was a dreamless state in which I lay then... ironic given this was all a dream to begin with... and all about me was a gulf of utter blackness wherein time had no meaning. It was not death, it was also not a kind of oblivion either, for I was aware... it was simply a dreamless slumber. When I opened my eyes at last, I was within a dark chamber somewhere else underground. The only light came from my lamp, as it sat on a wooden table in the center of... wherever I was. The golden chalice was there too, and a chair like unto a throne was set in front of the table. Mary lay unconscious on the floor, next to where I lay. I stood up and saw that a young woman of about fifteen years of age was sitting herself upon that throne.
She wore a black medieval style gown with long, wide sleeves. The gown was black, but with silvery embroidery and white trim. The gown was belted at the waist with a white sash that was decorated with a blood red cross upon it. The girl removed the sash, kissed it, then set it upon the table before her. Her hair was raven black, her skin was chalk white, and her eyes were a vibrant shade of blue. She looked, at once, both familiar to me and strange at the same time. I gave up trying to place where I thought that I knew her from, and listened instead to what she told me once she saw that I was awake. Her face was emotionless, her manner serious as she said: “I am the daughter of a knight who himself was in truth a descendant of the man whom history, myth, and legend records as having bore the name of Bedivere. A knight was my father, of a deeply secretive order that now operates only in secret... and in this timeless dream, my spirit is of a want to sometimes linger, so that I can try to communicate with certain who are worthy to receive what only I may offer them. You sought the Holy Grail... in this place? You know the truth of its' nature, and that this cup is therefore worthless! But even so, this chalice is not for the world of humanity especially today in these modern times. For aye, back in the waking world it is the modern era... and through the gates of dreams you have stumbled into the other world of the fair folk. Here, we still keep secrets that even my father's knightly order could scarcely have ever imagined! Here, we test the ones we deem worthy and reward those who pass these tests. I am not of the fair folk, but I hold to their ways, their traditions, and their magic. I want you to do something for me... abandon Mary, doing so only because I ask that you do, and come with me to my village. There, I will reward you before it is time for you to awaken form this dream. What say you?” I looked over at Mary, and found that I could not abandon her, no matter what was offered me. I said to the woman: “I will not do as you ask. Further you have not even done the courtesy of telling me your name! Nor have you asked me for my own. This makes me suspicious of your motivations, and loathe to trust you.” The woman then smiled serenely as she said unto me: “My name is Lily. Your own name is already known to me, as is the actual reason all in this part of the other world know you by the name of Grey. It matches your morality, which is hardly black and white! You are... beyond conventional mores and ethics in many ways, are you not? Even in dreams though, you maintain your honor. But how deep does that honor go, I wonder! What happens if you are pressed too far?” Lily then snapped her fingers, and Mary writhed in pain. I asked her to stop... but the pale woman would not listen to me, and she snapped her fingers again, once more inflicting no end of pain on the unconscious girl. Then, I grew angry with her and I seized the chalice in my hands, preparing to smash it upon the stone floor. I said unto Lily: “If you do that one more time, I will smash this damned artifact until it lies in pieces, its' gemstones scattered upon the floor! Then, if you persist in hurting her, I will put you in the ground myself along with whatever remains of this... worthless... cup.” Lily stood up from the throne and glared at me hatefully. She then said: “Then do as I say! Come with me to my village, and abandon Mary to her fate. I am not asking you! I am commanding you.” I then sat the chalice unto the floor and grabbed Lily by the hair, making sure she felt the pain of it. I then said to her sternly: “And who are you, to command me? Who are you, to hurt her! The far lesser daughter of a man far greater and nobler than she shall ever be. That is what you are. Not a princess, not a queen, not a goddess to pass judgment over others! Only a little girl... with a very bad temper. Want to see mine?” Lily then spat on me, and said: “I know what you are capable of, beast! Devil! Monster! I hoped that I could be able to redeem you... but it seems that you do not understand the rules here. You would prefer to match pain for pain, it seems. Very well, then!” and she made ready to snap her fingers again, but as soon as I saw her going to I grabbed her hand and squeezed it very hard, warning her: “If you snap your fingers one more time, I will break your fingers so you cannot! Then... I will show you what pain really is all about. Why can Mary not come with us to your village? I do not understand your reasoning, and I despise your cruel methods. Tell me, girl! What is the reason why you want me all to yourself? Ah! I do see it now... you want me, all to yourself. Very well, Lily, if you want me that badly, you will have me.”
I then grabbed her breasts, which were round and full to the touch, and began to lick her face like the beast she had called me. She screamed and shrieked... and then I grabbed her by the hair again and then on so doing bent her over the table. I pulled the skirts of her dress up to her waist, tore off from her the undergarments she wore, and then flipped her over unto her back before spreading her legs apart with my hands. I forced myself between then and... hard with lust... pushed the shaft of my manhood into the wetness of her feminine flower. I tore the front of her gown, revealing her breasts, and began to take my pleasure of the woman, having my way with her roughly. I licked her breasts, then her face, in between my thrusts as I forced myself in and out of the girl named Lily. She stopped screaming, stopped fighting me after a bit, and began to cry piteously... surrendering herself to the ravishment I inflicted upon her. I ran my hands through her hair as I did let loose a full orgasm into her... keeping going afterwards to see if her own body would betray her, which it predictably did. She did spasm a bit as climax came to her... whether she wanted it to, or not... and I kept going in and out of her, once we had both climaxed, taking my fill of savoring the girl's delights. Then, once I was spent and withdrawing my soaked member from her... I pulled her hair as hard as I dared, but not as hard as I could have. She lost no hair in that, but did indeed understand the meaning of pain. On many levels, given she had been a maiden to start with. But now, she was bleeding from having her maidenhood taken from her, and she realized at last she was a virgin no more. She wept, screaming at me the following: “You bastard! I was a virgin... I was pure and devout as per my father's wishes. You had no right, to take all of that away from me!” Then I laughed in an evil manner and said unto the girl, being very certain to gaze deeply into her eyes as I did so: “If your faith demands such purity in order to be true... it is no proper faith, at all! And, if you find it lost merely because I took your virginity... then you never had it to begin with, not truly. Tell me then, Lily... where is your faith now?” Lily could not answer, only sob and weep without ceasing as she lay atop the table and stared into the darkness above. I picked up the golden chalice and walked over to Mary. I called to her, and she awakened. I then pointed to the table where the ravished girl named Lily writhed in pain of both physical and spiritual variety. I said to Mary about her: “She kept... hurting you somehow, so I had to stop her. I am... sorry, if you think I went too far in doing so. In hindsight, perhaps I honestly did.” I saw the look of horror on Mary's face once she realized just what it was that I had done to Lily. But that look was quickly gone, as she said unto me: “I would never hurt anyone, myself... not like she did unto me, and certainly not like you did unto her! But, let us get out of here now, before something worse can befall either of us. This place is evil, and I think it brings out the worst evils within us all. Even I find... thoughts that I never realized I had... playing through my mind. And it is horrible!” But it seemed to us that the more we walked in any direction the more aimlessly we wandered in darkness. Even the bright light of the lantern seemed dim and useless against the gloom present in this part of the underground. I wondered why the lamp did not help, and before long Mary and I became hopelessly lost. “This place is like some kind of netherworld... all shadows, darkness, and mists by the look of it.” I exclaimed, and as I did so Mary remarked: “Yes! That is precisely what I think this place is. Oh my goodness, darling! Is it possible I am dead... that I have been dead all this time... even since before we met in the mead hall?” Was this a dream, after all, or had I actually passed beyond dreams without meaning to and ended up as it seemed crossing through the other world of the fair folk and beyond it... into the realm of the dead? It would explain everything, including why Lily wanted me to leave Mary behind. After all, if Mary was the spirit of a woman who had been my wife in a previous life long ago... then she was long dead, and it was not right that I should linger in this afterlife even to spend time with her. But, I was loathe to leave her side... for I was trapped in the memory of who I was when she was my wife, and I was unable at all to break free from it. In the distance, there was a grate set into a rough looking stone wall. Through it, I could see the forest once more. I grabbed Mary by the hand and said unto her: “Come, my love! There, in the distance.. look, it is a way out of here. If we can open that grate, we can escape this awful place.”
And as we approached, Mary began to despair, more and more. She looked up at the grate in the wall, sadly, and said unto me: “I cannot go back with you! I have to remain here, with the dead. I am... not of the living, any longer. And the time for my rebirth has not come yet either. If I passed through that grate then I would become a wandering spirit... and I would seek to remain with you, but you would perceive it as a haunting, and I would not want to visit that upon you. Remember me, then! Remember your old love, Mary, and think of this place no further once you awaken and are among the living once more. Let me drink from the sacred chalice, then leave it in my keeping. I will be a better guardian for it than Lily ever was... yes, I know her. I remember who she was, now. In life!” I then handed the chalice over into the waiting hands of Mary. We kissed, lovingly and deeply, and after that... she drank from the cup. She drank all the blood from it, and this time the chalice did not refill itself. Following that, Mary collapsed unto the floor and fell into a deep slumber, still holding the empty chalice in her hands. I had no heart to go to the grate and open it... it was bright and fully daylight outside that grate... back in the reality of the waking world, it was well past morning and would be midday soon. But Mary looked so sad and lonely as she lay upon the floor of this terrible place. Then I heard a voice saying unto me: “Mary does not see this place like this, she is currently in a dream of her own... a dream all the dead dream... and, in that, it is a paradise she walks through. She will remember this adventure you shared together, for during it you both shared the same dream together for a time. Though it was no paradise, because it was formed from pieces of memories of lives, times, events and moments from the past. All things you shared when she still walked in living flesh! In many lives, in many times, now all long gone. Even what transpired just now between you and Lily was only an echo of a moment from the past. She will only recall it as such, when she returns to the state she was in before you chanced upon her. As for myself... think not far too deeply on musing over who or what I am! Know only, that I am a voice of truth and reason.” I laid my body down next to Mary, caressed her hair, and began to cry. “I am so sorry, Mary! Sorry for what I did to Lily, and in doing that betrayed you. I am sorry for carrying on with that boy as I did also... when all I ever truly wanted, I realize now, was you. I love you! With all my heart, and soul. And, I will not leave your side, not even now.” The voice then returned, and it said: “Yes, you will! Because this too is only a memory, and a grim one... one you must not think about. The day Mary died, of fever, whilst still so young... in the dark cellar of the manor house you shared together. You laid there with her one last time as the poison you took claimed your life. For you could not imagine a life or a world without her in it!” It was then that I recognized that this voice... it was my own voice, but much older by far. I began to not just remember, but to relive, my final moments from that life that even now I was trapped within. I had given Mary the healing mixture which I had purchased from a local herbalist for her, and it did good at first... kept the fever away, kept her from getting sicker... until it stopped working when the illness got to be too strong for the medicine to help any longer. She collapsed in the cellar, after going down there in order to fetch some fresh fruit for us to eat. I came down to check on her when hours passed and she did not come back up; I thought to help her get the fruit to bring up, only to find her dead. Looking as if she had simply fallen asleep. Yet, nothing I did could rouse her from that dreadful state in which she so reposed. That state being death. I then ran on back upstairs, where I so grabbed the chalice in which her medicine had been prepared each and every day, as many times a day as the healer had said was needed, and I filled it with the same poison we always used to dispose of rodents. There servants were all busy about their various chores, and I had not the heart to tell them what it was that I was about to do. And the unbearably heartbreaking reason why I was about to do it at all. I ran back downstairs, then sat on down next to Mary on the floor... the light shining through the grate in the cellar wall... as I drank that chalice full of poison, and waited for death to come and take me to Mary's side. She was not breathing, she looked so sad... I caressed her hair, began to cry and sob uncontrollably as the poison ravaged its' way through my body. I turned away for a moment, to throw up... for nausea came upon me suddenly.
I kept on throwing up until the coughing started, followed by the blood that issued forth from out of my mouth. As I began to perish, once I was certain I was dying... I turned back over, feeling at first hot and then increasingly cold. Colder and colder, without any end to the chillness. I kept caressing Mary's hair, staring into her seemingly asleep face, and trying to say the words “I love you!” as much as I could manage to say them with even my capacity for speech failing. Death was upon me then! Everything did sound far away, and all began to go dark as my breathing came harder and harder until it felt like a true chore just to breathe. I slipped into darkness when the breathing became impossible and my body began to convulse. I felt a sense of panic, of fear and urgency as I died... my lungs were filled with blood and fluid... and I could attempt to speak no more. My final thoughts were loving thoughts of my Mary... as my final act was caressing her soft, dark hair. The last sight I ever saw was that of her soft brown eyes as I gazed into them. “I love you so much!” I thought, “So much, it hurts.” and that was the last time I could think anything before I passed away into death's embrace in order to be with Mary. “I remember it all now!” I exclaimed, and I stood up and began to approach the grate. “This is why I was brought to this place, tonight. Today.” I remarked. “Thank you!” I screamed at the void above and all around me. For I would otherwise have probably never remembered any of this had something not made certain to bring me here... to the domain of the dead... so I could. I hesitated to leave, looked back at Mary, but as I did so the ravages of time began to decompose her body. I did not want to look upon that horror, and so I said to her: “Farewell, Mary my love! Dream of me always... just as tonight, we dreamed together.” And I opened the grate, which flooded my vision with a bright and blinding white light. All was white.
“Some sorcerer I was... if I could not save the life of my beloved, then all the magic I studied was as good as useless.” I heard a voice saying and knew the voice was my own. A despairing memory from a time long, long past into memory caused me to remind myself of how useless I felt the day I lost Mary to her illness. Then, a woman's soft and gentle voice said to me: “You were not useless! You tried your best to save her, as did the healer... but there are some things no one has the power to alter. For even the gods do not always know when the time is at hand for someone to die. Death takes even they unawares, from time to time! And one cannot easily raise the dead. It is not as simple as rousing one slumbering... from the grasp of dreams.” Then, the white light that was all around me, surrounding me, and a part of me at the exact same time... it began to fade, until once it had departed I saw that I was standing on the road next to that forest once again. That place, in the other world, which lay so close to the realm where the dead dwell. I could hear, the sound of children playing coming from the woods, and within them the shimmering forms of Mary and the other girls from the elvish mead hall were playing happily without a care in the world. “If you must remember me, my love, then remember me in a happy way!” she did say to me, in my mind, as if it did not matter the distance between us. I then saw that a sort of manifestation of myself, so danced with her... a memory of me, that she kept in her heart, forever. Somewhere deep in my own heart, there was a memory of her as well... and it matched this moment completely. One of our happiest memories... one of our happiest times together! It was after we had just been wed, and she and her young friends took me out to the woods nearby the manor house, there to dance and play together as if I too was a child just like they all were. Though, I was the only adult in their midst... I felt like a child again in that hour... and I knew a delight approaching rapture that rivaled anything I ever experienced in the throes of passion. For this was something more innocent, more pure, and more perfect. It was in the midst of beholding this beautiful moment and remembering that perfect memory, that I awakened from my dream to see that it was indeed nearly midday. A good half hour from noon, just as I had seen in the dreaming state. Throughout the day today, I penned this so that I would remember all of this and never forget, no matter how many years may pass. This was the night I recalled my memories of sweet Mary! For both good times and bad... in distant past or current present, combined... make us as we are today.
Published 20th May 2023
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