deepundergroundpoetry.com

LIFE...interrupted

Well, here we are together again
Although we've never officially been introduced...
you feel like an old friend

We seem to meet when things fall apart
in the world, in my life, my heart
so many feelings tumbling all over each other...
don't know where to really start

Even the beginning was dimming
Survivor of a predator's sinning
Carried that shadow of burden for years
Didn't know how to shake the fears and good God the tears

I drew to what I knew
Education, writing, advanced learning
the only quench to this insatiable yearning

to know more
Beyond what THEY teach
Beyond what THEY preach

But then I can't seem to forget-the sinning of that predator
playing over in my mind like a
never-ending movie projector

Flashbacks would catch me off guard in the middle of anything-
happy or sad 
those haunting memories made EVERYTHING feel so damn bad...

AND, life goes on...
AND, I try to cope
And most times feel lost, lonely and like there's no hope

Relationships, kids, and other dynamics
Life, is a hell of a thing to happen to a person...lays shit on real thick...

All this stuff piling up, sends my thoughts rumbling
Can't think straight
I'm now existing NOT living
I'm really NOTHING

My mind, scattered
my LIFE battered
I arrived at the point where NOTHING really mattered
My existence is missing both rhythm and rhyme
To not exist sounds better
all I have to do is commit to a time

To end my life, is my solution
Put a permanent end to any evolution
At war with THIS horrible intrusion

Feelings of FAILURE that won't go away
what could possibly be the cause?

then,
WAIT, pause
and by PAUSE
I mean STOP
More feeling of doom and despair than NOT

How did I get to THIS place?
This unforgivable dark space
Where OVER and over and over again
I need to see DEATH'S face

This ain't no monkey on my back
this here is King Kong
Shaking me vigorously every day
all day long

This, is DEPRESSION
LIFE'S aggressive Regression
I had to seek help to start any progression...

Depression makes you feel as though you're life has been ENGULFED, CORRUPTED...
Instead of being a life LIVED it becomes
A life INTERRUPTED
Unsculpted
Unscripted
Uncrafted
So fast it...
takes my breath away
But I want it to stay
Go on to fight another day

I'll see you...
but only in the natural course of events I won't assist but be in DEFENSE...
of
this LIFE
interrupted though it may be
inside lives a warrior that more reflects the real me
the fight continues
In my war to be free
Written by SPIRIT (SPIRIT_X the RAW writer)
Published
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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