unrequited love

Sometimes, I wonder if you think of me; if at night, when the world herself has gone still and quiet, and the moon has come out to play and mourn for her lost loves, if you begin to think of me. Do you remember what you did, and everything you said?

Because I do; I remember it all.
I remember being the only thirteen year old girl with a boyfriend who was twenty three years old,
I remember being the only girl to experience confused arousal, because boys my age didn't even know what some of the things you told me about were; and neither did I.
So do you feel bad, about what you did?

Sometimes my memory comes back in flashes, and ripples, like colors bouncing off of the sky,
And I remember every word, and every act of reassurance you gave me, after I told you that this was wrong, and that you would get into trouble, but you reassured me, and I will remember that the most of all. The act of Reassurance that you continued to give me, The fact that you were fully in control, and understood the ramifications of your own actions.

I will not name you, because I cannot bear to utter a single syllable of it, and I will refuse to let it come off of my tongue until I am withered and gone, and until my body returns back unto the earth herself.
I wish I could tell people what you did, but in a way, I am still the thirteen year old girl who's innocence you stole.
And Maybe, in some way, I always will be.