remembering all I want to forget

 
 
 
wearing my hat with  
the spiders crawling  
around the brim  
 
I wonder if you are  
sitting at some  
hamburger stand  
in Youngstown  
 
"bring me my regular, "  
 you say.  
"but you have never  
 been here before?"  
 replies the old, fat  
  waitress.  
" I'm here all the time  
  in my loose leaf dreams."  
the waitress smiles and  
walks back to the kitchen  
 
I remember how the  
sands of Arabia would  
blow in your eyes  
 
and how lost love could  
become  
 
your mouse thoughts  
were an obtuse triangle  
leaning away from me  
with grinding proportions  
of black tar heroin
rage  
 
I never asked the  
 reason and screamed  
  silently at the deaf kitchen  
walls  
 
but the night would  
come like a prayer  
of intercession from  
some devine, blind  
chattering monkey  
god thing  
 
and we would open  
the universe like a  
thief picking a rusty  
door lock apart  
 
you would pour into  
my hands like sad  
ocean water  
 
and I would swim  
in your depths,  
going deeper  
and deeper until  
sunlight lost it's  
memory