The Demise of My Massacre

Darkness falls, mind and soul,
Psychotic thoughts begin to take hold,
Brain an enigma, no longer clear,
Flood of feelings, full of fear,

My mind surrounds itself in secrecy,
Working against me,
Scraping to get out of my own mind,
That has done nothing well but misrepresent me,

With these crazed thoughts I can't supress the thirst,
Not for love, worth, these breathes I believe I deserve,
But for the dejection of others, and so I take my third,
When they arrive, they take my word,

Days pass, my mind still entwined,
These feelings I face I start to feel were purposely assigned,
When I look in the mirror, I still feel terror,
That might not show, but I know it's there,

In another life, what might have been?
A secret path, another hidden truth..
An alternate course, maybe a different muse?
But still I follow this dismal path,

Yearning for another attack,
This compulsion from my brain that I've never lacked,
A force from this thing that lingers, its grip so tight on my life
I'm trying so hard to break free, day and night,

But so I carry on,
I mark the tally, I take what is now my sixth,
And I'm left with this still, never eroding feeling of being unfixed,
And then that terror grows stronger,

Hopelessness, despair, that voice whispering in my ear,
"No escape, can't turn around",
My mind soon begins to fill with dread,
And a sense of powerlessness takes hold instead,

I take my ninth, still undiagnosed,
This is an ending for all that cannot be revoked,
The beast inside me is screaming,
Painful, intense, and loud,

It's a scream I must let out loud,
I take my tenth.
there is silence now.
this moment of stillness, a chance to reflect.

And then I hear the sounds, see the lights,
Then I am laying there,
Not anymore left to my own device,
I am no longer alone though, no need to fight,

Days pass, my mind more entwined,
They speak, but I hear no words,
I still lie there, idly resigned,
This was my final dance with the devil, here on this level,

And just than, I die.