Oh, A Text Message! part the first.

     
     
ALI?  
     
Ali >    
     
No Way.    
     
How?    
     
Hail Eris    
     
Hail motherfucking Eris.    
     
How much is this?    
     
"Give me a discordian, and I'll play you a tune."    
     
*zing*    
     
Someone else out there knows what's up. We      
either hunt them down and destroy them, or hug      
them to death.    
     
I say it's the squirrel. They have those little      
hands... nothing's shocking (doo doo doo)    
     
No man I've driven through the streets back      
behind 7/11 and I know I heard motherfucker yell    
   
Ahhhliii!!!!!    
     
Text Message    
     
Cash    
     
Ali!  
     
Ali.  
     
This is like while we was up in there? Remember      
all the Vietnamese hood kids? I vote we don't      
destroy nothin’ down, because you never know      
when you're destroying tender innocence. Give      
them hugs instead and give them CPR if they need it.    
     
Besides, squirrels are good    
     
Oh, I love it when a squirrel does prayer hands!    
     
Squirrels definitely know what's up. I love to hear      
them talk to each other with their squeaks and      
sassy tail flips.    
     
No shit squirrels know what's up. I mean, to say      
otherwise, it’d be like to say sparrows don't know      
what's up  
     
And sparrows definitely know what's up    
     
(in squirrel speech)    
     
"Sweet!!!"  
     
But >    
     
BUT, how do you    
     
youtu.be?      
     
I READ, That a ghost.    
     
YOU read, That a ghost what?    
     
I READ, That a ghost is.    
     
YEAH!!!    
     
I'm thinking, What say.    
     
Me say, perfect.    
     
Yeah!!!    
     
ON    
     
AND.  
   
ALI!  
   
ALI.