The Conundrum

Lost in the haze of a broken contemplation
All perceived through the filter of misinterpretation
 
Do I see it all for the truth I cannot bear
Or am I incarcerated by a misunderstanding
Hopes siphoned from the leak of a fractured mind
Seeking for my heart when it’s something I can’t find
 
Honesty minced with self conscious lies
Scathed by the radar of the signals in their eyes
 
Tunnel visions of projected self contempt and shame
The act crumbles to vulnerability
Relinquishing reputation, I abandon my own name
 
In a world where approval is currency
Consciousness fused to the heaven or hell made of social status
Confined to the shell of the digital dignity of a media apparatus
 
Every word determined by the depth of the way it translates to life
Posts dated draft the blueprints of self reinvention
Tip the scales to break even or err on the side of condescension
 
Learning to speak again
I won’t validate lies for a soapbox showcase for affliction
Do these words undermine the vows proven by the silence?
Or just evidence the relapse of sabbatical to the extremes of twisted diction
 
Unearth my heart from the corrosion
Am I drowning in my thoughts or learning to suffocate the ocean
When faith goes to war with the dictates of emotion
Testing my propensity to betray or authenticate devotion…