Broken Robots - with Only_Human

I'll fly my private jet anytime, Klaus Cotton said, while I go to the 26th COP. Good cop, bad cop, put a cap in my pistol, and reload my taser.  What the heck is green gas as compared to octane,          
       
Destroyed forests, and artificial Christmas trees. Ponderosa pines are not Ponderosas, for they have lost their pillars to the sky by the chainsaw.  A posse comitatus in Mr. Rogers's neighborhood, but no Rambo or Barney Fife. I ain't taking this crap any longer.  News at 6.        
         
Neanderthals leading a gay parade. Barry Manilow, the Grand Marshall lip-syncing Mandy because he is too old to remember. Where did the good times go? No place for the crawdads to grow. The MF wears Prada.            
         
Climate chaos is everywhere so don't you run out of your gasoline bought with a fiver with no change. The summer solstice is slow getting here this year. The creeks are swollen and my canary is molten.        
         
Dark days ahead, mudslides, unforgiving rains. Leaving the lava lamp on for you. Welcome to your Tatsumi. Whatever happened to obsidian, "where the deep blue pearly waters wash upon white silver sands?"        
         
Grandmother dying, weeping on her Social Security check. Can't live on minimum wages. The Church of Scientology is alive and well in Hollywood but banned as an occult throughout much of the world. The border is wide open, but the president says it's not. Now, who is the liar? More news at 6.        
         
Little Miss Greta, I'm so glad I never metta posed for a photo op with her Swiss watch. Say goodbye to your gas stove and welcome to "The Line" in Arabia. Arrested for stir-frying  a hand grenade without a fortune cookie.          
         
Hypocrisy, celebrity style, with Cher's tattoos, now hiding beneath layers of clothing. The height of BS. Dolly Parton can't get enough soap to wash off her so-called skin art. I like Dolly, she is a self-made woman, but she runs with jackals to keep her notoriety.        
         
Tell Whoopi, Gomer says hey as she has her frequent flyer meltdown with her post-menopausal bitches, jack slapped by Joy Behar.        
         
Nudity is a no-no and illegal to boot unless you have your GPS on. Ron Jeremy did it and now he is in the Big House eating with plastic spoons that Martha Stewart gave him while she is off canoodling with Snoop Dogg,        
         
Leave those kids alone, ringing out in the streets. All the leftists or rightists, puttin' their right foot in and their left foot out, tossing a Molotov cocktail the in Hokey Pokey, with a get out of jail free card stuck up their ass. Oh hell! I keep forgetting because it's all illusion, say I can take my clothes off as long as I fly colors stolen from No-- ah nuts, never mind.
 
BREAKING NEWS       +
The flying nun just crash-landed at Vatican City.    
         
Conspiracy theorists claim the CIA brought down The World Trade Center. Vladimir Putin has a doppelganger. With the help of Al Sharpton, banning Little Black Sambo. But it's okay for Bill Clinton to dress in drag.          
         
Camera jockeys paid to make porn said to be art, now on cell phones bought and paid for to make money but where is Picasso. The husband is switching channels until his wife goes back to the kitchen thinking he is watching, "My Little Mermaid."              
         
Nothing changes in DC, Republicans, and Democrats are all the same. Raise taxes and gives themselves raises. Show up in a limousine. Democrats want to ban guns but make violent movies and killed babies in the womb.  Republicans want to buy fancy cars and pay off judges.      
        
Last Will and rodeo. No more Loretta Lynn or Charlie Daniels, replaced by reality shows. But Gospel Rock will fill my shoes until someone reinvents The Blues.  "Frog went a-courtin, 'and he did ride, uh-huh."          
         
Little Miss Greta, I'm so glad I never metta posed for a photo op with her Swiss watch. Say goodbye to your gas stove and welcome to "The Line" in Arabia. Corn fed.                                                                                           
       
Fake is the news, as fake as the shine on my new tennis shoes. As the talking head moondoggie flipped a toggle switch into a commercial. Now time for the weather. It's partly day and partly tomorrow    
   
You are only gay if the prosthetic fits and I have the key to your fantasy, locked up with your toxic Cheetos and Tickle Me Elmo.    
   
NEWS FLASH  
Tickle Me, aka Pee Wee Herman was arrested for molesting biscuits at the local Cracker Barrel. Guess he will not be on the Tonight Show.      
   
DoorDash hotwired my pizza and it set fire to a Ninja turtle chasing a hare and that's the way the pepperoni went. More news at 6.