it was made to be deleted

the image on my phone screen is her smiling    
hardly real though      
more a part of the internet      
than a actual woman messaging me 'good morning'      
       
she doesn't know it      
but she doesnt want me      
       
i'm a listless remainder      
feeling an inability to connect      
a longing like a dull pain in the pit of my belly      
       
she doesn't know      
that i never planned to meet anyone here      
or that the one profile i'd hope to catch a ghost glimpse of      
 
doesn't exist
       
i don't need connection  
 
     
i need a lobotomy