Lost in Post-Feminist Dichotomies

Lost in Post-Feminist Dichotomies  
       
     “Sir, I don’t mean to take up too much of your time on this lovely Sunday but tell me, are you married?”        
     “Well, to my wife in heaven.”        
     Her girlfriend asks, “Do you believe in heaven?”        
     “As an abstract concept that may exist in some cosmic way of being.”        
     “My friend Sherri here has been trying to convince me to give up Christianity. She says my husband is Jewish therefore we should both give up our faiths so we can be the same as atheists. That way we will be on the same playing field, so she asserts.”        
     Sherri replies, “Hey Julie, all I am saying is to find common ground and give up your myths for the deeper meanings of love. That way your marriage won’t die in a storm of disunity.”        
     Julie says to her male patron, “Sir, is that how it worked in your marriage on earth? Did you not talk about differences in religion so the circles would share space?”        
     The patron replies, “That would be to deny my inner fable. Of course, we spoke about our beliefs over coffee or while not watching the TV while inane news people interrupted our dinner.”        
     Sherri says, “Sir, look at Julie. She wears an old-fashioned dress down to her ankles. I on the other hand wear overalls but only lingerie underneath. I have long told Julie to be assertive maybe not with fashion but at the very least with an outspoken relationship with her husband. Such aggression need not be passive-aggressive but rather a subtle insinuation of female totality. Don’t you agree Sir?”    
     “Well, my wife was traditional but advocated for me constantly. She handled business for me that was beyond me. She had the right words and I deferred the diplomacy to her.”        
     Sherri replies, “That is exactly what I am talking about! Julie needs to be more forthright in her needs and leadership with her man. I am unmarried but you don’t have to be in a relationship to know the wisdom of womanly power.”        
     Julie says, “I am afraid I follow the Biblical definition of marriage in which the man is the head of the household. I wouldn’t  have it any other way.”        
     The patron puts in a few words to the wise. “Come on girls, when my wife intervened in my affairs I didn’t feel any infringing on my masculinity. Sherri is right Julie, your femininity won’t be compromised by taking a leadership role when the situation warrants it.”        
     Julie takes a deep sigh. “Well one thing I would like to express my inner Goddess with him is this irritating thing about our religious differences. I have no problem with celebrating Jewish holidays with him like Hanukah. But he won’t even sing Christmas carols with me. What is a girl to do?”        
     The patron replies, “I was a Unitarian while my wife was a Christian Jew. But we were married in the Unitarian Church and she was delighted. True love surpasses the vows to religious authority.”        
     Julie says, “Then maybe I should cease and desist pressuring him to celebrate Yuletide and just go to the synagogue while keeping my Jesus fever to myself.”        
     Sherri gets shrill. “Don’t you dare. If you concede your beliefs it will only get worse. Draw similarities between Hanukah and Christmas for him. But do it assertively. That way you will both be on the same page.”        
     Julie replies, “Yes and the Torah is mostly the Old Testament of the Bible. That may grease his ecumenical wheels.”        
     The patron says, “Even though my wife was a Christian she was an ethnic Jew. I reintroduced her to the synagogue. But I would be a Buddhist for a cup of coffee right now.”        
     Sherri replies, “Your usual?”        
     The patron says, “I prefer unusual today. All this mixing and matching of religion has me curious. I will leave it to the Barista’s discretion.”        
     Julie closes, “The new system will start here. I will decide your beverage and you will like it.”
     The patron says, “Aw shucks, you don’t have to wear outmoded ideas of gender. Wear what suits you.”
     Julie replies, “You are so right. Old-school feminism isn’t my style. My roar is more of a meow. It is a choreography that my husband and I know well. The paradigm works as well for us as the computer coding that sent humanity to the moon which by the way was written by a woman. The orbital velocity of the astronauts was proportional to the speed of her fingertips.”