Waiting for a Better Lifeboat

there is insecurity
in choosing security

what are you missing?

clinging to a slowly sinking ship
lifeboat by your side
rejecting the lifeboat
because you're not familiar with it

it's terribly small
are there oars in it?
even if there are
what are you supposed to do

row between continents?

meanwhile
even though you can pretend you're not

you're sinking

there's a captain
of your slowly sinking ship
though she lives ashore
in a palatial house
with a beautiful view
of your ocean

it will take months before sinking
she assures you
if we synergize
(she loves talk like that)
you'll make it to shore
and next year
there could even be
a brand new boat!

{there's nowhere to spend her currency
in this wide open sea}

maybe
you think to yourself
a bigger lifeboat will arrive

it will have a captain
who is hale and hearty
compassionate and reassuring
like the Skipper
on Gilligan's Island

gawd you're an idiot
and not exactly Mary Ann or Ginger
at this point
more like Mrs. Howell
without the money

but still...

maybe

as you contemplate
and contemplate
your lifeboat
the only one you had
drifts away

predictable as death
the water rises

if you get out
NOW
you could swim to the lifeboat

but it will be so terribly cold
what if there are sharks
what if you can't swim fast enough

but...it could work!

but...

what if?

as you contemplate
and contemplate

the water

is rising

night

is falling

and is what you just heard


thunder?