"Get It Out!"  

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Lights flicker…  
Jingle Jang of the keys,  
About every fifteen.  
 
 
Chaos and comatose;  
No sleep for lord who knows,  
 
 
Stuck in a pendulum swing.  
 
 
Jingle jang,  
Go the keys.  
 
 
Stuck in a loop;  
Visions from unwanted ketamine,  
At only Eighteen,  
Drizzled into my leg,  
Needled in circlets of slicing flesh,  
Calm, Chained and Detained as I was…  
I wondered, why the man in uniform and health chose to drug me so severely.  
Then again…  
I did spit in his face and say he “probably goes home and beats his wife.”  
 
 
Upon the brink of death from starvation, dehydration, sleep deprivation, sheer exhaustion and in severe pain,  
Bewildered - trying to remain compliant upon arrest and threatened with multiple police officers attacking while one is actively dislocating my shoulder-  
-Yes,  
for fear of worse,  
I jerked my arm down- after clearly stating to the officer my arm doesn't bend like that!- “You're going to break my arm, hey! you're going to! *More pain*” and back I jerked my arm, popping it back into its socket fully;  
 Jumbling up, yelling obscenities from sheer exhaustion and realization that these are unnecessarily rough officers- and its getting dark out,  
I spat when they got too close.  
 
 
Q/A of what I should have been asked:  
 
 
What was on your mind at the time of the crime?  
 
 
My mind nor body had seen proper rest nor nourishment in weeks, my mind was struggling. I thought only of the peace that comes with rest.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
Living situation?  
 
 
Couch-Surfing/ Homeless  
 
 
 
 
 
 
Transportation?  
 
 
Feet, skateboard, bus.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
Water consumption?  
 
 
I woke up that morning immediately looking for water as I had not consumed any fluids since mid-day of the previous.  
 I could not find any water either, everyone I asked looked at me and screamed or startled as if I was the Devil himself. It made me feel so lonely, so isolated from society, let alone all the food I had needed to be cooked and no water to cook it with.  
 
 
So no water.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
Current time of arrest?  
 
 
Sundown had occurred within hours, sunset was around 7:30 that season, maybe 10pm or so?  
 
 
 
 
 
I was asked nothing of the sort.  
I was taken only for monetary in court.  
Lost as I was...  
Well...  
Because.  
 
 
 
 
 
As it was starting to get cold out I decided I didn’t want to suffer in the cold again tonight and I didn't want a cop to wake me up because i was passed out on someone's front lawn or in a ditch.  
 I decided to do what I promised myself I wouldn't, go into someone's unlocked car.  
I knew myself.  
I'm a thief.  
Not from those I love, just when I'm desperate, and when my mind fails me,  
Still a thief.  
See this time was different I told myself-  
I'm just going into a car to sleep,  
Not to steal anything.  
I saw a car.  
A green jeep.  
My condition was-  
If it's unlocked, I'm in for the night, not touching anything.  
Well I was in…  
but cold…  
Realized a cop would still be the one to wake me up…  
Or an angry jeep owner…  
I felt this rough surge of mental energy despite my fatigue  
Pushing me to at least move the vehicle for a good night's rest, I only needed one afterall.  
As if pen springs had been propped into my eyelids  
I was now completely and utterly…  
Well…  
Tempted.  
And then…  
Possessed.  
I found tools in that car…  
A pocket knife, pried it into the ignition like a key, and its tip broke.  
Next tool?  
Toothpick.  
I lined the toothpick up like a key,  
Put my pointer finger to it straight on,  
Took a deep breath  
*This will either go straight into my finger and snap or into the ignition*  
I said a silent prayer and  
*Umph*  
It slid right in-  
To the ignition.  
Applying force to the cylinder and meditating to feel the car,  
I got all of the electrical circuits to engage and a slight thu thu thu of the jeep attempting to bite something as I cranked it.  
 
 
Music.  
 
 
The radio started playing…  
The songs seemed to be about me and my situation right then and there.  
Old classic rock, just what I liked, a song I'd never heard.  
I realized how this could be me…  
Hopping in my car to head to work.  
Choosing a radio station.  
Sparking a cigarette.  
Driving.  
 
 
I didn't know what it was like to drive either…  
 
 
Yes… I let the evil one whisper into my ear  
To convince me Gods plan and statutes didn't matter  
That stealing was okay so long as I…  
So long as I followed… -his “Conditions”  
And "left it around the neighborhood"  
no harm - no foul - right?  
 
Later I had discovered this through the amount of prayer, research and demonic oppression I was experiencing:  
 
 
Satanic law states if you tell someone what you are doing,  
And they remain complacent and allow it to happen (Why complacency before God as a follower is a punishable offense)  
Then there is no retribution whilst alive on your hands before God because all witnesses allowed it,  
 and not being bound to The Law of The God of Abraham whose descendant was Christ Jesus,  
these Godless people, these Gentiles (Be gentle with them) are given permission and authority by the Evil One to get away with any desire they so can dream upon themselves (I.e. You become your own God, the sole authority and ruler of your own life, free to use your freewill apparently unfettered, blameless, unashamed and unaccountable!  
So long as ye bow down to Satan, ignore the moral compass and give up your eternity in heaven.  
 “Yolo” say goodbye to a life that makes sense, we can barely make sense of ourselves let alone enough sense to know what we need as our own gods!  
 We. Need. Christ.  
Not just to get away from the foggy slur of living in sin,  
(To Fall Short of Gods Grace)  
But because Christ is a blameless representative before our Just and Jealous Creator and Lord,  
Furthermore; Christ wants you.  
Christ wants you to finally be free!  
For this-  
-You first must see.  
Just as the Roman soldier who speared Christ through his side was an Non-believer of The Messianic Prophecy and Law, and all of the people were complacent in allowing this murder to take place, means this soldier is free from God’s persecution and judgment - whilst still alive. Furthermore, if that roman soldiers eye wasn't obstructed then healed there would be no account of this! No chance this roman soldier could ever attain the necessary liberations to live life near Gods Everlasting Love and Grace! The only thing waiting for him was the cesspool of the devils lair. In the true scenario, this man was healed, and proclaimed the good news to his superiors, exclaiming that surely that man was the Christ! And those with Eyes that Saw and Ears that Heard saw and heard.  
As his blood heals those it touches and he died in a manner no mortal man does- it took the miracle of physical healing for this soldier to repent *To realize ones own wrongdoing and express deep sorrow and remorse towards letting down the creator killing their messiah* plus enough courage to break free from the mind of the enemy and proclaim the good news to those who ordered the crime, So that they too might see and seek repentance which leads sight and everlasting life!)  
 
 
 
 
I learned this the hard way.  
satan taught me how to take what I wanted without getting caught- at the expense of the Holy Spirit not guiding my life anymore.  
I always wound up choosing God though, as I am bound to Abwoon and Yeshuah’s Law in my Heart.  
Violating one or many of satan's conditions,  
I was turned back over to God and-  
 punished accordingly based on the crimes and offenses towards God from allowing myself to submit to temptation and act out my sin. (This happens all the time. I'm learning to identify the enemy and choose God before the Holy Ghost departs from me.)  
You see, the lesser punishment comes from obedience upon realization rather than disobedience after realization, you can only postpone and build your case for judgment, not avoid it.  
 
As I Dreamt of a better life in the first comfortable seat I had felt in what seemed forever,  
I had already given myself over to God.  
As his angel spoke to me I heard this:  
“Must you always run?”  
 
 
At this I knew my time of dreams would soon come to an end,  
I braced myself and looking over to my right,  
 at the house holding the owner of this car,  
Their garage door began to open revealing feet.  
Many Feet.  
 
And I agreed with Gods Angel.  
 
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If yall enjoy, let me know so I can post more of my story for you!  
-As this was only the first stage of my minds remembrance towards personal  
accounts of mistreatment in Jail at Age 18 and religious views for seeking  
understanding of my Faith in Christ Jesus.  
Currently older now,  
This is not heavily edited or revised,  
It was a dark time in my life,  
I feel better, more open about it now.  
 
Side-note/ This was not written to be entirely poetic, throughout my entire story I utilize poetic layouts to further add depth to my words,  
If there is a better place to post something of that sort, let me know!