i still think of her

these times, late at night,
these sleepless
late at night times,
she comes visiting my mind,
wandering into
my memories, staying awhile,
i have tried my best
not to think of her each day
like i did for years before,

she has never aged, only
grown more beautiful to me,
i wonder if she knew how much
i wanted her, not necessarily
needing her, but wanting her,
whether it was lustful or
a need to make myself feel better
i cannot say for sure, but i wanted
to be with her,

being close to her made me happy,
a satisfaction to me knowing she
was close by, but then someone
told me that she had remarried,
at first, this did sadden me,
and as days passed, i thought
less of what i wanted and more
what was better for her, i saw her
picture, she was smiling, a smile
that wasn't always there before,

each time now when i think of her,
knowing she really is happy,
i can be happy for her too.