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bias in her eyes

I sit there legs crossed under the unnatural light
A cart of paint supplies at my right
My loving partner seated to my left
And across from me a lovely salesperson
Together we're chatting while she types on the computer
We are pleasantly talking about buying a washer and dryer
It's all so normal... So very normal... So fucking normal
With a smile my partner brings up the fact I'm a local
And I respond with my normal memorized lines
The boring trifecta of how from the area I am
And when with a grin she assumed which high school I went to
Mindlessly I corrected her... And that grin...
Jesus that grin disappeared so fast I'd thought I'd imagined it
I knew what her mind thought the moment it disappeared
Only bad kids go to the alternative high school
And bad kids grow up to bad people... such ugly lies
Doesn't matter that she found me delightful five seconds ago
I'm sure she felt quite betrayed or fooled even
That I seemed so normal... So very nice
The look in her eyes became so glinting in judgement
Inspecting me for anything else she had missed
As if she could detect all the trauma in this body
And I shrank into myself like a fragile snail
My brain trying so hard to stop my mouth
Failing my explanations fall like diamonds from it
And she recovers just as fast as she failed
Paid off with diamonds made of carbonized insecurities
Will there be a time where I won't feel the need to explain?
Good kids went to school with me and that school saved my life
And yet... Shame... disgusting slivers of it sink in
When people change everything about their aura
Fuck you lady for making me feel so damn small
You're on the same level as that college professor
The one that told me being a valedictorian of that school didn't count
Shitty human beings I'll curse casually the rest of my life

Written by BlueBeastGirl (Beasty)
Published
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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