Life after Death

They lie when they say there's life after death.        
Because I can hardly muster up my next breath. 
I want to cry but will it really matter.    As if my tear stained face will make anything better.        
     
There's nothing that will dull the pain I feel.            
Nothing will make this un-real.   
No apologies will give her back her life.            
No hug or kiss will make it alright.      
             
My heart aches with the thought of my lose            
But it shatters at the memories she never got.      
I riddle my mind with memories I'll never have.      
Like her first birthday or her first bath.          
It's not fair that her life never began.     When all I want is to hold her tiny hand.            
Kiss her face and pinch her chunky cheeks.            
But instead I look at this box with little angel wings.      
       
If life's a gift, why was hers denied  When so many evil people are still alive.            
Everyone says " God needed another flower"          
As if those words have some kind of healing power        
     
To that I say... If he needed a flower plant his own.            
Because mine deserved the chance to grow.           
So, no, There's no life after death.
It's hard enough to muster up my next breath.    
 
Was there no faith that she'd be anything less than amazing.            
Did you see no hope that she'd grow up so bravely.           
I'm caught in this cycle of anger and grief.          
I know I'm still in here somewhere underneath.    
 
But it's so hard to live when she's gone  My head is so quiet, sad, angry and withdrawn.  
It's like there's Nothing but this huge, dark hole.        
Nothing left but the shell of my soul.      
So, they lie when they say there's life after Death.  
Because I can barely muster up my next breath.