deepundergroundpoetry.com
Of Me, For You
I’m of a certain age
and starting to ask
the harder questions;
an accounting comes due
- not the accounting, not yet
but a scorecard, a collection of
memories, and a tally
written in pen;
What the hell have I done
with all this time?
I am an now an accumulation,
an amalgam of fury and bliss;
I’ve never known anything about
the moderate in-between;
sometimes I think
I was sent here
just to complicate things
I can remember the color of rain
sliding off the rusted iron rails
of my elementary school’s steps
- but not most of my 20’s
it’s a blessing
to have (mostly) avoided
vivid recollection of those days,
the mania-fueled bloodlust
for every facet of life,
or the depths of my depression
that resulted in the death
of so many good things
Who am I when I am pulled under?
I’ve drawn a line in the sand -
it was necessary, to continue;
I desperately want that life, the one
where joy seals my wounds shut
with a single moment added
to another, until the tides turn
and where love
conquers all, after all
and starting to ask
the harder questions;
an accounting comes due
- not the accounting, not yet
but a scorecard, a collection of
memories, and a tally
written in pen;
What the hell have I done
with all this time?
I am an now an accumulation,
an amalgam of fury and bliss;
I’ve never known anything about
the moderate in-between;
sometimes I think
I was sent here
just to complicate things
I can remember the color of rain
sliding off the rusted iron rails
of my elementary school’s steps
- but not most of my 20’s
it’s a blessing
to have (mostly) avoided
vivid recollection of those days,
the mania-fueled bloodlust
for every facet of life,
or the depths of my depression
that resulted in the death
of so many good things
Who am I when I am pulled under?
I’ve drawn a line in the sand -
it was necessary, to continue;
I desperately want that life, the one
where joy seals my wounds shut
with a single moment added
to another, until the tides turn
and where love
conquers all, after all
Published 19th Jan 2023
| Edited 20th Jan 2023
Author's Note
Written for the Me competition.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 14
reading list entries 6
comments 22
reads 278
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
19th Jan 2023 10:32pm
20th Jan 2023 4:06am
20th Jan 2023 00:06am
I feel a lot of love bottled up in this poem, that when the time is right and uncorked it will be a huge blessing! Praying for that blessing to be fruitful. vulnerable piece I like.
20th Jan 2023 4:07am
Anonymous
- Edited 29th May 2023 7:45am
20th Jan 2023 8:37am
<< post removed >>
20th Jan 2023 10:38am
20th Jan 2023 12:21pm
It seems you have words stringed one by one in your streaming consciousness. a poetic flashback.exquisirely finished....
thanks heaps for sharing ..
thanks heaps for sharing ..
20th Jan 2023 1:18pm
20th Jan 2023 4:55pm
Beautiful. Soulful and contemplative and very relevant as we reach this point in our life journeys. Who we are I think is truly an amalgam of all these feelings, moments and experiences, some few memories retain such vivid colors, but most run off the page. I love listening to your audio accompaniments. 💖🙏
21st Jan 2023 1:06am
It’s one thing to put your most intimate thoughts into words, speaking them out loud is another, entirely. As uncomfortable as it can feel, I find it’s a whole new form of catharsis. It really brings me back to the emotion of the words as I first wrote them.
Thank you so much for your kind words!
Thank you so much for your kind words!
20th Jan 2023 8:46pm
Great poem. How we tell our story shapes our current acceptance of life in all its facets. Feels ggod to me. Liked the audio too; it made the poem richer.
21st Jan 2023 1:07am
20th Jan 2023 11:27pm
Dear L,
Holy sh*t! This was an accounting for the ages. All ages. The part about remembering the color of rain off rusty school nails but not your twenties is sooooooo relatable. I enjoyed the metaphors throughout taking inventory of what life has been for you and your reader (as it’s a style that we’re pulled into immediately to start the tallying of ourselves.) You have a beautiful speaking voice to match your visage. I’d double RL this if it was possible to do so. All the best in this comp but it’s already first prize.
Holy sh*t! This was an accounting for the ages. All ages. The part about remembering the color of rain off rusty school nails but not your twenties is sooooooo relatable. I enjoyed the metaphors throughout taking inventory of what life has been for you and your reader (as it’s a style that we’re pulled into immediately to start the tallying of ourselves.) You have a beautiful speaking voice to match your visage. I’d double RL this if it was possible to do so. All the best in this comp but it’s already first prize.
21st Jan 2023 1:08am
Thank you so much, Honoria! Your comments always encourage me, and I really appreciate them.
21st Jan 2023 2:14pm
Oh, this is so relatable... the second stanza really resonates with me. And that striving for love, truth, acceptance.... so many other peripheral things felt so much more important when I was younger. How silly that seems now.
Your reading is beautiful and honest, too. Well done.
❤️k
Your reading is beautiful and honest, too. Well done.
❤️k
21st Jan 2023 3:33pm
29th Jan 2023 7:16am
You are on a roll with these spoken words. Perhaps it's us Gen X'ers who have been in that transition phase as we matured and that our 20s was the school of hard knocks it gave us quite the shock. It's so relatable and so reflective of the paths we've taken.
Amazing work.
Amazing work.
30th Jan 2023 12:39pm
30th Jan 2023 12:37pm
30th Jan 2023 12:39pm
Anonymous
30th Apr 2023 3:48pm
I am an now an accumulation,
an amalgam of fury and bliss;
I’ve never known anything about
the moderate in-between;
sometimes I think
I was sent here
just to complicate things
… I mean… I’m reading listing just for that. I mean for that alone.
Thank you
-M
an amalgam of fury and bliss;
I’ve never known anything about
the moderate in-between;
sometimes I think
I was sent here
just to complicate things
… I mean… I’m reading listing just for that. I mean for that alone.
Thank you
-M
2nd May 2023 2:53pm
