life & death

          
         
Life & Death          
         
         
    the juggle between the two; how one wants to live versus die-the "options" available & unavailable....          
         
              
     what does one do, when death is on the mind over life? check in with a doc, therapist? a 1-800 hotline? doesn't sound like the "effective" move....          
         
         
  to awaken from a long sleep-just to want to go back.... seeing societal events repeat through some "news" outlet ....          
         
         
  feeling like, one's a piece that just doesn't fit.... thought conquering all-is a peaceful exit.... from the many potential shit & fans that's predestined to hit....          
         
         
"survival of the fittest ...." that's a "game" quite honestly i don't care to participate in....          
         
         
 observing one's surroundings "why am I here?" I don't fit the societal scripts-that's apparently clear; "why must I exist?" to "learn " how to become stoic??        
   
   
why?    
      
     
force one's self to "adapt" ? ....    
i don't think i want to "live" that bad ....