Captain's Log

Captain's Log:
 
The crew from the BDSM Enterprise has been trying to leave Planet Dominatrix, it's in the Erogenous zone. The crew has just spent a month studying a race of green sexual vampiress. The Captain, Me, ended up man down, Those dick sucking, cum gulping, cock junkies. If it wasn't for Scotty teleporting everyone back aboard ship we would had withered down to the last man.
 
Back aboard the Enterprise everyone was immediately taken to sick bay. Spock my second in command remained in command of the ship. That Vulcan bastard pissed off, because he wasn't a part of the ground crew, ordered Bones to insert a Viagra rod up his ass. A week into my recovery and reports are that the ship is in total chaos. Spock, that fucking Vulcan, is fucking everything with a slit. Uhura, my main bitch, hasn't checked in. The reports says that fucking Vulcan with that Viagra rod up his ass has her walking bow legged_____ fucking Captain out
 
I summon Chekov to take me to the bridge, all phasers locked. I'm seeing Bones has gone crazy jamming Viagra rods up the asses of all male crew members. These bitches are fucking all along the corridor and in the storage bays. Shit, dick don't you dare rise right now. Chekov warp speed ahead lets get out of this sector.
Mr. Chekov, I said warp speed ahead
 
I'm trying Captain but the ship has become sort of a premature ejaculator, it lacks power
 
Get me Engineering
Scotty this is your Captain, I need more power
 
So do I, Captain, Mr. Sulu has shown up in Engineering and with two Viagra rods in his ass he's draining the entire department. Captain, I'm sucking on two dilithium crystals and giving him all I got.
 
Bitch I don't care if you have to drag Sulu around attached to your dick put those dilithium crystals back
 
Chekov, can you do Sulu's job and yours
 
Yes Captain it may be a bit difficult but manageable. Could you get Janice to give me some under the control panel head
 
Of course Chekov, but you're gonna have to take sloppy seconds on that head, your Captain has recovered.
 
Captain, Captain Spock is on deck
 
Yes, I noticed, fucking Vulcan has the nerve to come on the bridge with a dam erection
 
Captain, Commander Uhura is on deck
 
Yes I see her, bitch is still walking bow legged. That fucking Vulcan, hell to the no, my main bitch.
 
Aah Mr. Spock could you report to Engineering and find out why we can't achieve warp speed
 
Aah Captain, I thought that you had a conversation with Engineering
 
Shut the fuck up Chekov and enjoy those sloppy seconds
 
Mr. Spock
 
Okay Captain, dam Uhura has my balls sore
 
Captain, Captain Spock is off deck
 
Captain to Scotty
 
I, Captain
 
Is Sulu still in Engineering
 
I, Captain, he's like a fucking chimpanzee this one down here. He's using all holes, hands, and feet now.
 
Well jam a third Viagra rod up his ass and stand by, if you can't get me out of this sector, beam me back down to those green bitches____ Captain out
 
Chekov get me security, I want Bones that mad Frankenstein locked up and bring me all of the Viagra rods.  
 
Scotty be prepared to lock in on my position and beam me back down. Has Mr. Spock arrived in Engineering yet
 
I, Captain, and Sulu with three Viagra rods in his ass attacked him instantly. Mr. Spock even with his Vulcan strength, he was no match. Captain, I can't take the screaming, he's continually screaming your name
 
Not to worry, let me see him Vulcan mind melt his way out of this shit, that fucking Vulcan busted up my main bitch  As soon as It's safe to approach the controls, beam me and these Viagra rods down to the planet. Your Captain needs a vacay ____ Captain out