"cure" for the "core" beyond fuel for life's source..people give it labels like thnxgiving

                            
                           
                           
    in a world without "mirrors"(manmade reflections of all sorts).... nature's water drawls one nearer; imagine an isolation so deep, that a visit to the source couldn't be less brief....                            
                           
 one doesn't care about one's appearance that much.... just a grab and go-with one's storage day worth water flow....  for some(myself included).... that's the reality....                            
                           
interaction? i mean-we can speak, but.... isn't less not best-if one values peace? because, what exactly do you want or need with me?(defense mechanism/barrier)(no one really wants to feel/be alone) seems to be the spoken and unspoken mentality....                            
                           
community? what's that even mean? an illusion that one has a greater chance to "succeed"....                            
                           
                           
"succeed" for what? ....approval from a bunch of people to ensure my survival? ....  this is a hint of what "introversion" and "depression" feels like....                          
                         
"one" doesn't have a "name"; i'm just a "number"; one's just a one. a one out of many....just another he in a gene pool of hes.... just another tiny "fish" in a massive crowded sea....        
       
the heart takes as much beatings as it beats just because that's how it was designed to be.... if it didn't beat at all-all the potential beatings cease....        
       
and this-this is the mind of a soul who simply wants peace minus the potentialities of "heartbreak" and "defeats"....      
       
so the brain numbs itself and tells the heart to "keep beating- i'll take the hits...." "psychological imbalance" for the sake of a "steady pulse...."    
     
why? because.... one's just a one of many.... just a one, out numbered by other ones that function significantly differently.... wanting to "force" one to "believe" in superficial doctrines-and conditional "love"....    
     
rather than just being...."alive"....."living" simply....mindfully....    
"connecting" naturally.... so the brain numbs itself and tells the heart, "keep beating-i'll take the hits-even though this isn't good for either of us long term."