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frustration & Desperate feelings

To be an unloved person
A feeling of hate
Faced with this being
So much faith rejected
Through all these past days
how to be loved
By him, who is so wild...

I fought
The hardest
But the "let go"
This fact more and more keep
And I released...
Today so desperate
what did i do to her
So that she takes his defense constantly...

I feel misunderstood
This leads me to do some stupid things
Some image comes to my mind
As I tried to make them disappear

Talking about it will help me
But I can't push them down
And tell me to listen
In my pain
there is no more happiness
Put a weight on their backs
That there is no choice
I want to see my angels only in joy...

We told me
That my presence is a chance
that over time
They forgot their suffering
But in my turn I have a breakdown of meaning
I scatter a bit like ashes

I was invited to join the happiness
I'll stay there for hours
But how to enter if I have more heart
But what resentment
Because of his beings who only cause misfortunes...

Yes, I said "must smile"
Yes I said you have to live
Yes, I said "you have to fight for life"
For those who will still suffer

But today I convince myself otherwise
That life is fleeting
That it's a long fight that will remain eternal
But when the courage is no longer there how to do...

This is not an extraordinary poem
This is not a poem of tenderness
It's just a poem of distress
While writing it, I feel borderline uncomfortable.

I know I will have other worries
But how to fight those who are near
Who seems so "disunited" to me
And who proves to me by certain words that I am misunderstood...

So much screaming in my head
Like fierce screams at a party
Everybody is holding my head
No one tries to know me anymore
I have already suffered so much in my own way...

Suicide is among me
But I know it's over
is not good advice
Already tried many times
I can guarantee it could be worse
And be twice as badly misunderstood...
But why am I doing them again these last few days...

I play this game, the game of laughing
I play this game, that of creating a future
I play this game, to deny "suicide"
I play this game, not to think about dying

But when will the truth come
Once I disappear
Will love me so much once gone
Or will I be left to rate as an old memory?

I know if that day comes
Despite my motto of "positive"
I'll keep that fake smile
To keep pleasing my friends..
moroccanpoet
Written by moroccanpoet
Published
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