The moment of my death.

Change of stroke and it really works. Almost existential in the depths and rich in metaphor. I really enjoy  confessional / real life poetry. They get to the centre of a person. Keep paddling!    

Change of stroke definitely works. :p Oh boy! do I have a dirty mind. lol Went straight to the gutter on that.

It's funny how non-intuitive steering a single person raft can be. :p They were yelling at me 'go left' 'go left' and I went straight to the right, straight into it.

Lots of depth and metaphor in this one about life (and death). I thought I should write more about some other things, especially things I love. Definitely helps get to the centre, or shall we say the bottom of things. Will keep paddling Rob... ;)

Yeah, I was thinking...camping in rough nature, and so...yeah....

Camping in rough nature, oh yeah! I love that! There is so much you can do in a tent. lol Making a tent in someone's pants. :p And on the silent parts of the water as well if multi-person raft or swimming. ;) Yeah my mind is still in the gutter, as usual.

In a stream....of summer sunlit succulence....sips of mountain thaws...

Alright showing off... now you need to write one with that. ;) Just saying... That's beautiful and wonderful imagery.

Just responding.....

Haha, love the skull and crossbones.

Ah yes, the intensity certainly increased while I was out there. ;) Mother nature can be a bitch but I love her so she gets to have her way with me sometimes. But yes, just like life, there is no going back; you just have to continue forward in your journey learning and recovering from the past for a brighter future.

It's definitely a rush, love it! But yeah make sure you have experienced people with you if you go on more dangerous rapids. That's super important.

Do I look sweet and innocent. :p Awww, I like that. So innocent * cough * A badass, hell yeah! Adrenaline is awesome... gets the heart thumping and the body all primed for action. Of course you knew. ;)

Amazing, I love that! Like your comment. ;)

Someone whose memory isn't faltering will remember the details: In Star Trek V, Kirk talks about death,  after Spock has saved Kirk from falling off a mountain. Spock with no emotion explains that Kirk wasn't facing his death because he wasn't alone. Your riveting write brought back the scene. Being in the moment it is hard to take in what might be fueling our actions but I don't think is a stretch to say our senses our more acute. The adrenaline hits.

Love it! I am a trekky (yeah I spell it with a y damnit) nerd. lol Spock so very rarely showed emotion, straight up logic. In the end we are all alone in facing our death so Spock of course has a point. Someone was there to save him and in this instance I could not have made it out on my own. It was absolutely impossible so that scene makes perfect sense in regards to my own. No amount of adrenaline could help but oddly I was very calm and had no fear. It was a surreal experience. I do feel my senses were more acute. The sound of the water, the feel of it caressing me tight... It was amazing... the raft was ejected and recovered down river.

Thank you for reassuring me that I at least partially got the account of the scene right!

I always love your associations with music and other things, always very meaningful. I like how your mind works Jazz. :)

Oooh yes, as a fellow adrenaline junkie and outdoor enthusiast I really enjoyed this write! And also that moment of "maybe this is it.... and that's ok" .... what a peaceful thought. I'm glad the will to live for another day grabbed hold of you though.
Great, exciting write!
❤️k

Ah yes! I knew you would be another adrenaline junkie and outdoor enthusiast. ;) And there is so much incredible nature and beauty in Canada. (that includes you ;) ). Yes, sometimes we fight even thought of it but to be in the midst of it just felt peaceful. It really made an impression on me. I have known a ton of anxiety in my life so that was a rare experience. The will to live always has a way of grabbing hold. Someone said I bet you won't do that again. lol And I was like, let's go again now. ;) <3

An illuminating write.
Lived to tell
Fear and calm, what a combination …
Glad you were spared

BIG WET LIKE

Shining through the Darkness. ;) I did indeed live to tell about it and was not discouraged the least little bit. :p Actually I wasn't afraid at all, that was the weird part - just completely calm. Like I could just stay down there forever and I suppose I would have if I was on my own. Never go white water alone. :p Glad I am still here to talk about it too. Love the BIG WET LIKE. I think I may have had that one before. lol :p

Yes, we've done wetness BL before
Always a good time and always BIG LIKE !!

Big cities have their own whitewater to make your way through right? Not nearly as fun though. :p

In my last moments I'd probably be thinking about the cable bill that will go unpaid and be happy about it ..

lol that's definitely not what I was thinking about. Definitely never want to think about the cable bill all my bills are on auto-draft so I don't have to think about any of them except for my Mom's, doctor bills, and all that kind of stuff. Who uses cable anymore? (except for Internet). ;)

I don't trust auto pay on everything, especially utilities..
That's just license to jack your bills higher.
I know about this shit ..

I have not really run into an issue with price increases but I do watch to make sure...

OMG I loved diving for the serenity it brought but I'd hate to be held forcibly under
Scary write riveting read
Love and light
Ron xx

Diving is something I really need to get into. I love snorkeling. Went to Blue Lagoon Island, that was beautiful. Any island. :p Did you dive in the Red Sea? I have heard it's one of the most amazing places to dive. Yeah I was very much held under, there was no breaking out of that without assistance. I forgot what a guy told me the force was of water pressure but it was astounding. I do love writing scary. :p And so happy you found it riveting Ron! Love and light back atcha always...

I've done about 100 dives in the Red Sea, we always went on live aboard dive boats for two weeks at a time. We got 4 to 6 dives a day in and of course plenty of night dives. Yes I've dived every famous wreck and reef in Egypt
Best thing i ever did sadly got paralyzed before going cage diving with Great White Sharks in Guadalupe
Love and light
Ron xx

Wow! That sounds incredible. I can imagine what you must have seen down there... Perhaps you found some Egyptian chariots. ;) Night dives would be SO cool. Every famous wreck and reef... I need to do that. Cage diving with a Great White... That's a rush. I am so sorry that happened Ron. I hope I didn't bring up any bad memories. Sending you lots of hugs, love and light. <3

No beautiful just happy memories
Love and light
Ron xx

An excellent premise....great metaphor!

Life makes the most excellent premise. :) Both literal and lots of metaphor as well about life and death. Adrenaline and excitement. Perhaps we are always chasing our own death in life. Or at least if you are truly living. There is no living without risk really. There is just existence. I am really glad you came over to paddle the river with me Ted and that you liked the premise and metaphor. :)

Hey Jay, I am really glad you shared your perspective especially as someone who has had many near death experiences. Anyway, you know how deeply I connect to the dark writes and there are definitely reasons for that too. I have found that peace at times in some of the most turbulent waters. The Darkness has a way of calling back always and you can find peace in it. I suppose in a way it's just necessary for the mind to accept what is happening sometimes. Perhaps it's oxytocin or endorphins... But definitely a calm in the storm. Arises from contact with our truest selves, so true and I definitely agree regarding the universal connection.

Hi Kristina,

Sometimes it is hard to accept what is going on around you. Is this really happening? Now what?
So happy you had someone there to save you. I've had a lot of tragic adrenaline - I hope when that
moment comes for me that it is peaceful:)  But not for a long long time. haha
Loved how you changed course on this write - something towards your inner warrior - how
inspiring:)

That's true, everything happened so fast regarding the raft flipping and being taken to the bottom. Being down there seemed like forever though, like time stopped. And then when I was pulled out everything moved super fast again. It was definitely a unique experience. It's always necessary to have someone experienced if there are rougher areas as was shown in this case. Tragic adrenaline, love that title. I may have to write that and credit you for the inspiration, or you need to write it. Somebody needs to write it damnit. lol Yeah, I think you have a very long time to go Adel. Not letting you go anywhere. lol Glad you liked the shift from death to passion and living. We face our mortality everyday so we need to make the best of life. Inner warrior, hell yeah! ;)

I never been rafting. Sounds fun. I did almost drown when I was a kid. Was playing in a river and was taken downstream. Guess my dad ran as fast as he could to a place he thought he could catch me and somehow got to me before I drowned. Life has away of letting us know it's not done with us.

Wonderful ink, friend 😁

Ah, you have to try it... It's a blast, especially when you don't die. lol Wow, that must have been scary. I am so glad your Dad was able to react quickly and think clearly so he could get you out before it became a tragedy. Plus you wouldn't be here to share with us which would be terrible. Well perhaps you would be a ghost writer. :p Okay, bad jokes... lol Life definitely has a way of letting us know for sure. Sometimes it feels like it's letting you know it is done with you, just it's just messing around. :p

A life changing experience you never forget.  Keep on writing.

Very much so something you never forget. It felt like I had so much time to think while I was down there even though it wasn't that long. Definitely a different experience and I suppose I am super weird but I liked it. lol Not that I would try it again though, like I said it definitely could have worked out different. I love cycling too, I have some stories there as well. :p

I would enjoy hearing all your stories. We need to enjoy each other.

Although I am not afraid of death, but if I die in an accident like this, den this thought scares me very much... well you have described this experience very well...

Yes, I suppose there are definitely better ways to die than an accident. It was just one of those weird contrarian experiences where you should be afraid but instead it was calm and peaceful. I am glad you could come by and experience this again with me olivia. ;) Really white water rafting or kayaking is an awesome experience. I know there are some good whitewater rivers in Europe. :)

It probably felt peaceful because you were knocked unconscious maybe? I'm just being silly. I like the way you say, "This might be a series related to other things I love like whitewater rafting, cycling, traveling, fitness, art, animals, etc," like you're not sure. If I was to guess, I'd say you're working on a set of new poems based on these activities. :-)

But yes, regarding your poem, I liked the way you likened the trials of Kayaking to the perils of the life we face daily. Clever!    

Had I been knocked unconscious it would have definitely been a different outcome. That would have been a big issue for sure. Haha, I did say might be didn't I? lol yes I already wrote some more so I guess you have a very good point. You might have guessed right. :p You know how much I love variety and those things feel like great things to write about. I have in the past as well but more in a series mindset I suppose.

Ah yes, the trials of rafting and kayaking can definitely mirror life. Single person or multi-person raft where you need to work together to prevent the kind of thing that happened to me. :p Definitely can see the perils of life in each rapid. It's a great activity for companies, if you have guides with you... (to keep people from dying lol)

Prefer inside water sports ...

You are a dirty dog... water sports... well hey whatever floats your boat so to speak. I guess it's warm and comforting. lol But hey I like fluids. * cough * And I love sports... more single person like white water or cycling, swimming, gym, and such things. Baseball, softball, or volleyball is fun! Glad you came by for some 'outside' water sports. lol

dear KristinaX

as i read your p0eming i like to watch your avatar photo....the fishnet covered hand ...
has the imagery of an old fashion microphone
thus giving the feel that you are speaking


a warm smile
silent lotus

`

That's a very cool observation. I had not thought about it like that but you are so right. It does look like I am holding an old fashioned microphone. I love that! You are very observant and I love that extra perspective on speaking. Actually just posted another actually speaking so made me think of that too. ;) I love your warm smile, it always makes me smile too SL. I hope you are having a magnificent day, like you...

Kristina that was a pretty intense experience. I’ve always been interested in whitewater rafting but never had the chance. I had a old coworker tell me they had a similar experience, but your piece here is both bean and frightening.

Great work

Ah yes, it was definitely intense and once I got caught the pull it was to late to do anything but go down. :p It was kind of surreal in that it seemed to happen so fast but also very slow. Hard to describe. You should definitely try it, it's great exercise and a good way to get out in nature. It's super fun when you don't die too. lol But don't worry if you have a guide you will be fine. I am glad I that you could feel it and love that you think it's great work. :)

Like Lt Dan mentioned up there a bit ^^^^, there is a weird peace about it sometimes.
I've been in my share of near-certain death as well, one involving almost drowning.  (I was pinned under water). And I was so calm about it.  I told myself "well you really fucked up this time", and then I waited for salvation.  Obviously it came.  

Life needs it's thrilling moments.  We can't be hermits all the time!   It makes for good writing like this one of yours.  
You were literally baptized by Mother Nature that day.  Now you're blessed!  

And you're one more rung up on the "bad ass" ladder!

Great write, Miss Kristina.  You shared your awesome adventure poetically well!

I totally agree with both of you. I suppose it's endorphins and oxytocin combined with a sense of now I don't have to worry about all this stuff anymore.

So that sounds so similar to my experience. How did you get pinned under water? "well you really fucked up this time" haha, been there... ;) I am really glad salvation came otherwise you wouldn't be here damnit!

Oh yes! I do love a good thrill. If you are afraid to live you may as well be dead so to speak. It definitely makes for good stories to tell and interesting things to write about. Baptized by Mother Nature and blessed, love it! That's perfect, never thought of it like that.

Haha, yeah been climbing that latter and still many stories untold. ;) The ladder is more exciting than the elevator, escalator, or stairs... Especially when you are really high. Okay, that didn't sound right. lol

So happy you went on my awesome adventure (poetically) with me. You would have been one of those guys yanking me out I think. ;)

I wouldn't be the guy yanking you out.

I'd dive in after you.  I'm a very good swimmer and brave as all dumb hell. Lol.

My "pinned under water" was my dumb ass swimming/diving at a boat launch.  I was crossing under water and a boat came in and pinned me to the lake bed.  I could barely get my fingers out of the water, and I just tapped the side of the boat.  When they backed the trailer down to hook up the boat (finally) they saw my fingers.  
 It was so surreal.  I really did just remain calm and tell myself how I really fucked up. Lol.  I was fine except for some scratches.  No biggie.  
I've done some pretty crazy shit, and that day was barely a risk, I thought.!  Oops.

Haha, that's so sweet... although diving into a hydraulic will either get you killed or you would be stuck on top of me which could be interesting. lol But then they would have two of us to pull out... You might have to pull out too, when they pull us out. lol

Wow, that is definitely horrifying. Although I had a ton of water force coming down on me, it seems even scarier to have a boat sitting on top of you. :p I am glad your fingers found a way out to say hey guys get this boat off me. lol It definitely does seem surreal in a situation like that. Especially when you have no way of  getting yourself out of it. Remaining calm is essential under water because you will drown otherwise. You sound like a strong dude to hold that boat up and only get some scratches. geez. Have done my share of pretty crazy shit. lol so yeah, I know how that goes...

Young lady, you have no idea the crazy shit I've done.  And yes, i would definitely jump in after you. I would for anyone.  I have twice before.  I have this (probably dumb) sense that things will always work out for me.  So, I'm basically fearless. Seriously.   You really, literally, have no idea.  Lol.  
I've had so much bad happen to me, over the years, and yet I'm still here.  There's a reason.  
And I am not "that" strong. I'm skinny, remember? Lol.  But I have a lot of torque.  And stamina.  And stubborn. I don't give up.  Lol.

PS, yes, I'm working on our homework!  I keep getting sidetracked!  

Well you need to write some more about the crazy shit you have done. lol Yeah, you just want to be stuck on top of me then. :p The  water force and pressure is insane down those things but I don't doubt your determination and stubbornness so maybe you would  figure something out. I am very stubborn and determined to but I was definitely pinned down though. One of those rare moments  where I was completely helpless. lol Not that I don't like being  pinned down. * nevermind, naughty look * I am fearless in regards to a lot of things. Torque and stamina will get you far but not giving up... Absolutely. That's how I am, but I did have to reel in my perfectionism.

We owe each other actually but yeah you owe me damnit! lol

I would loooooove to play with your kayak sweetie. 😉

My kayak is always the most fun to play with my dear PQ. :p But I love playing with other people's kayaks too. ;) Have you ever been whitewater rafting/kayaking? Absolutely love anything that gets me wet. Although that's pretty easy to do. I get worked up just writing this comment. lol Okay, I am going to shut up now. :p

Cleanup in aisle 69. Kristina is wet again…😋 Yes, I have been whitewater rafting in the Rocky Mountains. Liquid squirting and splashing  eeeeeeverywhere lol.

Haha... that's a constant cleanup effort... Rocky mountains... awesome!!! nothing like liquid squirting and splashing everywhere... but you clearly know that feeling... lol

6
0
Seconds over and out

60 Seconds huh? What can you do in sixty seconds? Well I guess you can comment and I love that. :p Thanks for coming back around to say hello and share these 60 seconds with me PS. ;)

This so deeply inspirational... I'm beyond words right now.
Thank you for posting!!

We can inspire each other then. I was deeply inspired by yours as well. I have a ton of passion and desire so it definitely spoke to me. ;) I am so glad you stopped by and found inspiration from me as well. This was definitely based on a very memorable moment. It's interesting the things that stick with us and inspire us. I absolutely adore that you are beyond words and enjoyed this one Naajir.

 
It took me a minute to realize  
How to articulate what this vibe did to and for me  
As it took me back  
To those jarred moments of  
Asphalt and asbestos  
The despair of 911 and the absence of a heaven  
And how Death spoke in Psalms  
And calmed me  
 
Eerily  
 
Into a state of serene silence  
As violence reigned high above  
And ached below  
 
/////  
 
Yes ...  
I was confounded  
Grounded and pounded  
By your verbiage  
Pyramid Chess style....  
 
Thank you for sharing this experience
Much respect

I love being impactful and giving you something to think about my dear Naajir. 911 was truly horrific, and to experience that would definitely test and question your mortality. Death spoke in Psalms and calmed me. That's a very interesting way to put it, I love how you expressed that.

There is a serenity in that acceptance of our mortality sometimes. Eerily serene silence is a perfect description.

Pyramid chess... awesome. ;) There is always so much more, right?

When I was 5 in Brooklyn, we had a big backyard pool the kind that is tall with vinyl like walls. It was winter, but I wanted to show off my pool to a new friend, so I dragged off the cover, got in the little boat in my full winter clothes and it capsized. My new friend ran home, I sank to the bottom. As I sat there, the pain and panic as I breathed in water melted away and I felt amazing peace. I woke up several minutes later. A neighbor saw me floating at the bottom of the pool, dove in and gave me cpr, saved my life, but I was probably technically dead for a few minutes. I think that lent to a rather spiritual experience of life I've had over the years.

It's amazing, the things we go through, maybe terrible at the time, but they're transformative, we grow through what we go through, my Buddhist teacher says.

You're really adventurous it's kind of fucking awesome. This was a really well related story, excellent recount.

I know the type of pool you are talking about. ;)
I can imagine the panic at that age (well any age), it had to be so scary.
But yeah that amazing peace feeling is really interesting that you had the same experience in that regard. And I am so glad that a neighbor saw you, that would have been really tragic. Wow, we wouldn't be talking right now. Life is so fragile...
When you survive something like that it definitely has a way of changing you. Strangely I didn't panic at all even though I had no idea if they could pull me out. Like I said, fortunately the buoy pretty came straight to me when they tossed it down the hydraulic and thankfully those were some strong guys. It's one thing to get a hold of it, it's another to actually pull someone out.

It's definitely amazing the things we survive and endure but like you said they are transformative and we grow. I truly believe wisdom comes from suffering. It's very different than learning.

I love adventure and intimacy; combine the two and that's just the best thing ever. :) Traveling is one of my favorite things in the world. I need to write about that more because I have been to some very off the beaten path places.

Wisdom from suffering I'd the meaning of the title of my book in print, A Wisdom of Flame.

I'd definitely be interested in reading about your travels and adventures. Hiking sounds fun. I would imagine for a long hike or trek I'm big into Star Trek too, you'd want to be more prepared, food, water, etc.

A Wisdom of Flame, so perfect... you know what I mean then.

So many travels and adventures, I do need to write more on that. :) Hiking and mountain biking is always great. Yes, for longer hikes you do need some supplies, water and munchies at least. :p (and a compass) I love Star Trek, especially the original series... it's awesome. And James T Kirk was a horndog. His aim was to go where no man has gone before. And I mean sex with as many aliens as possible. lol

lol the green alien ladies loved his drawn out staccato diatribes and post 50s swag.

I would love to read more about your adventures and live vicariously through them, it's been such a long time since I had a nature outing.