covet

he doesn't know what he disturbs with me
I ache to tell him but bite my tongue
I mustn't talk too loud or he will hear me

shh he's listening

he doesn't approve of my feelings for you
he says my soul is beautiful and innocent

this man is no good

he warns my love of him encourages his dark side
I ache to hold him
to touch him in the cold

my Master is Adonai
he is both kind and cruel
you are so much like him I get confused
Sadistically patient and yet quick to act
psychologically breaking me down to discover where my heart is

do you know even Adonai searches the honesty of me?

I am a mystery to him
which frightens me

if he doesn't know my depths who does?

he assures me I am of his genetic makeup
but he questions me ruthlessly to get to the heart of things
he wants specifics
I call it the specifically song
it drones on and I answer to the best of my ability

well, perhaps not

there are things in my psyche I don't want to face
things about my Father I would erase
I am the daughter of the dawn

do you see beauty when you look out?

it's captivating isn't it?

do you also see the shadowy darkness coveting every morsel?

I tell you the truth that you are living is mercy or is it?

my God is a Sadist and I am his masochist
if I evade him in this life he will find me in the next one