deepundergroundpoetry.com

Before it all went to Shit, character assassination, and good bye.  

10/ 3/21] This is not the first time I've heard "Targeted like this". I'll just leave that lay for a while. I my experience the people you find the most annoying tend to be just like yourself. Yah, that's just gonna lay there as well. You sound just like someone I know that feels threatened [my word]. 2 women that say they've been targeted. 2 women with the same sexual desires that voice those desires from polar opposite perspectives. 2 women that have de-activated their accounts temporarily. 2 women that are really protective of their emotions. 2 women I like/ love/ something completely different/ no of the above/ all of the above. 2 women that need poetry to be a positive outlet for mental health. These 2 women would make a powerful dual (duo) if they wanted to instead of hating each other.
The thing with guys is this; they don't take hating someone personally. We come out swinging, get bloodied, and go drink bears together. The honestly you've given me is amazingly power and I think this other women would respond. But no, you've both backed yourselves into a corner like pumas with no way out. The fact that I'm standing in the middle of this puma fight is the only reason I'm being an armchair psychologist.
Someone's gonna make the first move, and hint [it ain't gonna be the other women]. You have way more in common that you have differences.
Bottom line; I can't give you what you need because I'm not the issue, just an innocent by-stander being drawn and quartered by two strong personalities. A guy's worse nightmare - I can't fix this shit with duck tape or super glue.  
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10/4/21] I am willing to risk something I care about very much to offer myself as an intermediator and intercede on your behalf. Can I share this letter?
I'm sorry you are feeling this pain and your mother's pain and the pain of losing your mother. This seems overwhelming and I'm quite sure I could not handle all that pain at once. I mean, you haven't talked about this except to offer information but I can see the pain, I'm here and promise won't turn away.
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10/5/21] I would straight up ask her if she believes in our friendship enough to blindly trust me long enough to hear something I needed to say. And if she believed that I would never harm her or jeopardize our friendship. I would say that you are a confused victim and that she is an angry victim and that maybe there are no victims but a soul destroying [my soul] tragedy of misunderstanding and that this misunderstanding is ripping me apart. I would ask her 'please'.
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10/5/21] "approach"??? Nothing but soul stripping honesty is going to work here so don't try using psychology, we're all empaths. You definitely don't lead with you heart [which I can see very well as I'm the same] BUT you will need to [the same way I'm putting myself though hell talking about emotions]. The person you will most likely going to be talking to does lead with the heart and is very sensitive to negatively [which is not to imply you're not] and will lash out in pain [which is something I don't know about your reactions]. In other words, this could be a whole lot of useless pain but I'm thinking the rewards could be life altering. Are you on board with this?
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10/5/21] You need to ask these questions of B of course. But I feel the answer is irrelevant, all it does is open the door and give you a starting place. I mean you could argue about why someone is angry or you can accept their anger so you can find a deeper connection. At a certain point, right or wrong doesn't apply anymore [not that I've ever followed my own advice]. And do you want good pain or bad pain? I don't think the choice of 'no pain' is on the menu.
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10/7/21] Thank you for nagging. Really. Today's the day I risk everything and I'm procrastinating and scared. Checking in, in this case, is a small push that is helpful.
APissPoorShaman
Written by APissPoorShaman (Ryszard)
Published
Author's Note
Offering the transparency of my personal emails.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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