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THE FINICKY BEGGAR
THE FINICKY BEGGAR
Beggar, do not be too proud
and accept what they afford.
If you're given only bread,
take it saying you are glad.
Don't be scrupulous and hard;
accept all and express thanks.
If it's not so good and fit,
throw it when you are afar.
People who are in your state
will accept the cheapest gift.
Don't be finicky when you
merely ask for needed alms.
How can you be haughty when
you are in such bleak despair?
Yet we sometimes act like that
when we need some aid from God.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
M
Beggar, do not be too proud
and accept what they afford.
If you're given only bread,
take it saying you are glad.
Don't be scrupulous and hard;
accept all and express thanks.
If it's not so good and fit,
throw it when you are afar.
People who are in your state
will accept the cheapest gift.
Don't be finicky when you
merely ask for needed alms.
How can you be haughty when
you are in such bleak despair?
Yet we sometimes act like that
when we need some aid from God.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
M
Published 7th Nov 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
On the assumption that in your piece you are using "afford" with the sense of "what a person is capable of paying for", is this what you meant to say?
Beggarman, do not,
when you have cried out loud
for alms
be then too proud
to graciously accept and not disdain
the gift placed in your hand
that is the only thing
that your bestower
can afford
to give
If so, you've done so very clumsily.
And when you wrote this
"If it's not so good and fit,
throw it when you are afar".
did you mean to say
and If you find your gift's
not good enough
or fit to satisfy your needs
go to someplace that's not near
your begging spot
and there throw it away.
If so, your use of the adverb, let alone the noun, "afar"
(https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/afar)
is a solecism.
In any case, your present yourself here as a smug moralistic prig who feels he has the right to talk down to and harangue those he regards as beneath him.
Beggarman, do not,
when you have cried out loud
for alms
be then too proud
to graciously accept and not disdain
the gift placed in your hand
that is the only thing
that your bestower
can afford
to give
If so, you've done so very clumsily.
And when you wrote this
"If it's not so good and fit,
throw it when you are afar".
did you mean to say
and If you find your gift's
not good enough
or fit to satisfy your needs
go to someplace that's not near
your begging spot
and there throw it away.
If so, your use of the adverb, let alone the noun, "afar"
(https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/afar)
is a solecism.
In any case, your present yourself here as a smug moralistic prig who feels he has the right to talk down to and harangue those he regards as beneath him.
Your use of "and" here gives the impression that you are that the way to be "too proud" is to accept what "they" afford. To avoid this you should either begin L2 with but" or "to" or place a full stop after "proud" and begin L2 with "Accept".
Moreover, if you are using "afford" in the sense of "offer", rather than "what one is able to pay for", then to ensure that readers would not misunderstand what you are saying, you could have made this cleat by writing something like:
do not be too proud
Accept their offering
even if ...
Also, you leave a reader to guess who "they " are. Your lack of specification is poor writing.
Moreover, if you are using "afford" in the sense of "offer", rather than "what one is able to pay for", then to ensure that readers would not misunderstand what you are saying, you could have made this cleat by writing something like:
do not be too proud
Accept their offering
even if ...
Also, you leave a reader to guess who "they " are. Your lack of specification is poor writing.
