Darkness Falls

Truly a dark masterpiece. You capture the darkness so well in your words. That shredding of the soul as it deconstructs you and puts you back together somehow. Puzzle pieces forced together in a way that just doesn’t fit in this world. Raw nerves and wounds torturing the mind. Somehow the agony is so seductive and attracts others who want to share in the intensity. They try to force themselves to fit as well. The dark tendrils always grasping the body and soul. Darkest secrets kept inside forever but releasing themselves through this passion that only grows for the Darkness. And it seems self destruction is always on the menu. But reconstruction is as well. Burning souls illuminate the way confusing both Heaven and Hell. Which is which? I don’t know anymore. I just know that I must travel this path too dark to see. And so I don’t see my own demise… Perhaps it will never come, forever lost in my own oblivion. And to get too close means you get lost there as well.

Okay, my SUPER impatient and feeble attempt at rhyming.
It cannot compare in any way to your write but oh well. :p

Tearing everything away, exposing.
Hiding nothing, disposing.
Flesh torn pages, Bleeding.
Salt poured in open wounds, pleading
Torture my mind, loving
Seduce me with agony, stunning
Love and torment, cumming
Amplifying your words, becoming
Borne of blood and pain, numbing
Dark tendrils entwined, succumbing
Tears the flesh of souls, embracing
Blackest secrets exposed, disgracing
Evil in our hearts, consuming
This need to destroy, looming
A willing and loving sacrifice, exhuming
On the altar of self destruction, resuming
Inhumanities oblivion growing, assuming
Evil in our hearts revealed, dooming
Wearing a crown of thorns, abusing
No forgiveness for burning souls, amusing
Truth lies in the darkness, telling
Challenging Heaven and Hell, swearing
Neither accepting us, not daring
Two halves forever entwined, a pairing
Bound by pain and suffering, sharing
A path too dark to see, treading
Lit only by burning our love, dreading
Watching our infinite demise, descending
But our passion is forever alive, never ending

I love your thoughts here, they are truly magnificently poetic. Can I rewrite this poem using some of your phrasing, giving credit where due?
---As far as rhyming goings, it's a two edged sword that transforms the poem and can add or subtract from the reading. I've been trying to use near rhymes instead of pure to tie my poems together w/o subtracting from the reading. Idk, but almost every rhyme has been used so many times that they become old and cliché if used carte blanche. I cringe at my early attempts of rhyming but have also seen rhyme word magic. So anyway, I don't force rhymes and let them flow when they can. Would you want to rewrite this with me?

Of course you can rewrite it. I know it will be MUCH better that way perhaps that was my evil plan all along. lol Or we can try together, however you like... I can make no guarantees on writing together but I will give it a go. ;)

I have an idea, using this poem as a basis from which another poem might grow, I want you to seduce me as if you were the night and I will respond by slowly allowing dark tendrils to grow in my mind. A duet and love story told in two entwined parts, you writing stanzas 1,3,5 and I'll write 2,4, and 6. They could be paragraph length or just a single line if the line stands alone, etc. What do you say? Honestly, I may not be up to it but baptism by fire so to speak. We could transfer this to the messages.  

It's worth a go, feeling the pressure now. lol :p But yeah transfer to messages. I like the idea...