deepundergroundpoetry.com
Cleanin' Out My Sarcophagus
look
if you had one shot, or one opportunity
to diss your mummy
would you take it or just let it slip?
-
yo, come with me for a second to 1352 B.C
before I ever had to seek therapy
my mum, she was a cruel queen of the Nile
force fed me lies
had me swimming in all kinds of denial
if only I had a clue of what she was up to
enslaving our people just to build her temples
released a curse on the earth
a 200 year plague to boot
but worst of all is how neglectful she was
always off with a different peasant dude
if only she had spent that time with her kids
maybe things would have turned out different
thought in death I would be rid of the bitch
she made me drink the eye of David
now I got to unbury the bitch
it's 2022 and I’m letting all the dust out
every bit of what you did
gonna make you look so silly now, mum!
I'm sorry mummy
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
but tonight
I'm cleanin' out my sarcophagus
mum I hope you know you look ridiculous
walking around town with your arms out
slowly, all wrapped up
smelling like thousand year old butt
everyone makes fun of you mum
yet you couldn’t even be more oblivious
now who’s the one in denial?
why do you tell all your friend “aheh”?
like that makes up for what you did
my therapist doesn't even believe in me
she keeps subscribing hallucinogens
now I'm an addict using again
but it's ok
because I'm writing you this note
just to let you know
I won't be at your birthday party!
and I hope you cry
cuz you won't even admit you were wrong!!
I'm sorry mummy
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
but tonight
I'm cleanin' out my sarcophagus
now you’re suing me for defamation?
bitch, it's in the history books!
not like the jury would ever believe you
they can't even understand you
and your lawyer is the Mothman?
the fucking Mothman!!
don't think you'll get a dime from me
that treasure was inherited
you died, or don't you remember?
fuck it, I’m done
(dadoooo)
to be fair
you did make us frog soup whenever we wanted
(dadoooo)
and you did let us play with the scorpions
(dadoooo)
and I didn't mean what I said about your b-day
it was in the heat of the moment
(dadoooo)
we do have some talking to do though
if you had one shot, or one opportunity
to diss your mummy
would you take it or just let it slip?
-
yo, come with me for a second to 1352 B.C
before I ever had to seek therapy
my mum, she was a cruel queen of the Nile
force fed me lies
had me swimming in all kinds of denial
if only I had a clue of what she was up to
enslaving our people just to build her temples
released a curse on the earth
a 200 year plague to boot
but worst of all is how neglectful she was
always off with a different peasant dude
if only she had spent that time with her kids
maybe things would have turned out different
thought in death I would be rid of the bitch
she made me drink the eye of David
now I got to unbury the bitch
it's 2022 and I’m letting all the dust out
every bit of what you did
gonna make you look so silly now, mum!
I'm sorry mummy
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
but tonight
I'm cleanin' out my sarcophagus
mum I hope you know you look ridiculous
walking around town with your arms out
slowly, all wrapped up
smelling like thousand year old butt
everyone makes fun of you mum
yet you couldn’t even be more oblivious
now who’s the one in denial?
why do you tell all your friend “aheh”?
like that makes up for what you did
my therapist doesn't even believe in me
she keeps subscribing hallucinogens
now I'm an addict using again
but it's ok
because I'm writing you this note
just to let you know
I won't be at your birthday party!
and I hope you cry
cuz you won't even admit you were wrong!!
I'm sorry mummy
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
but tonight
I'm cleanin' out my sarcophagus
now you’re suing me for defamation?
bitch, it's in the history books!
not like the jury would ever believe you
they can't even understand you
and your lawyer is the Mothman?
the fucking Mothman!!
don't think you'll get a dime from me
that treasure was inherited
you died, or don't you remember?
fuck it, I’m done
(dadoooo)
to be fair
you did make us frog soup whenever we wanted
(dadoooo)
and you did let us play with the scorpions
(dadoooo)
and I didn't mean what I said about your b-day
it was in the heat of the moment
(dadoooo)
we do have some talking to do though
Published 30th Oct 2022
Author's Note
On the 2nt day of Halloween I give to thee... a parody of "Cleanin’ Out My Closet" by "Eminem" duh 🤓.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Anonymous
31st Oct 2022 1:47am
Lol.... You did a great 'Weird Al" version of this song, DC... It had me giggling! 🤭
Loved the laughs and the Halloween hijinx my friend!
Good job.
🎃-B
Loved the laughs and the Halloween hijinx my friend!
Good job.
🎃-B
I never did a parody before so I was like why not? haha. And i was a Weird Al nerd back in the day so that's totally what I was going for.
Thank you for the read my friend. As always it's very much appreciated 😁
Thank you for the read my friend. As always it's very much appreciated 😁
