Gaining the World

I know that I am tasked
though choices I have freely made
with following the ways of Jesus Christ

I’m worried though,

since this, perchance,
involves my braving
for his Gospel’s sake          
my death upon a cross
or in a place of spectacle,

that I,

when hard fact faced
with this
and all the suffering
it might be prefaced by ,’

would find myself
a man among the weak,

that is to say,
as one who lacked
the strength of mind and will
to see his duty done

believing that it’s best
for me
to run away
from seeing through
all that I, as Peter did
when told within a farewell mean
he would, before the night was out,
three times abjure
the one who he just heard
proclaim to be embodied in
a broken loaf of bread,
have pledged myself
to do

despite my knowledge that
as consequence I’d quite
be  overcome
with guilt and grief
as Peter was
when he  denied  
the charge
that he once claimed
that  Jesus was his Lord.