deepundergroundpoetry.com

Drowning

  I was once swimming in a place of happiness and bliss/only to find myself reminicing the time I lived/body stiff and breathing restricted/ while slowly decending down to unknown depths and looking for ways to be lifted/ feeling defeated/ because my attempt to save myself is of to no avail/ I'm so far down in the water that no one can tell/ no evidence  of me drowing is present/ I try making a sound but I am hesitant/ because opening my mouth will only add more pain and hasten my demise/this is so oppressing and surpressing that I cant even cry/ prayed, call on friends and family to help me?/ Yup/ I already tried/ it seems the only way to salvation is for me to die    
    
Why oh why must this hurt so bad/ grinning from cheek to cheek in  public knowing I'm sad/ trying to come out of regret and dreaming of things I wish I had/ you know what, I really could use my mom and dad/ I'm irritated and angry but I cant be mad/ you aint going through what I'm going through? Yeah, i'm glad/  
    
I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy/ even though my enemy/ are those who claim to being a friend to me/ while i'm going through an internal catastrophy/ that seems to be prepetuated for an eternity/ all I get is a pat on the shoulder with people saying "God will take care of me." /Yeah I'm sure He will but why hasn't He/ This isnt something  I can just recover from easily/ and while people hesitate to help me/ due to rumored and or proven history/ I am going down and unable to voice 2 words/... Help me    
  
*Sigh i guess this my fate/ after all it appears my rescue is delayed and will be too late/ I wish I could retake/ all the tears I cried/ and all the times I screamed "I want to die!"/  having to question myself why oh why/ and no one from the outside can't even or dont even care to see the signs/ its ok though/ because I'm a new guy/ because i decided to embrace this process of drowning/ because I actually do seek to die/    
 
 I want to die/ to the old me and embrace the new me/yeah I was complaining/ but now I'm not because I got an epiphany/who wouldve thought I can be/ reborn from a thing/ that seems like a tragety /because I am going to resurface from a place of drowning.  
Written by King_Seraphiel (Joshua Jamal)
Published
Author's Note
My inspiration for this poem is from the emotional growth I'm going through
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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