Narrating my life

He was scared of the world but more so scared of his self he gave great advice but no one listened he gave great advice but never took his own he was hungry for peace in his life like a dog with a bone kid was the best way to describe him everyone treated him as so and for that he hated most people great sense of humor he had but no one would know but his mother and dad living to die dying to live in a love Hate relationship with God he loved the lord and he had answered many of his prayers before but as time goes by God shuts the door wanting for God to let him just be wanting for everyone to just let him be that man is me and I am him now the cats out the bag days go by seems like insanity but if you hold on you can survive  patiently and all I ever thought is about the greed in me have ever loved it's a mystery to me no punctuation baby because add live life 42 now single no kids or a wife I'm living life just day by day trying understand you trying to understand me he has deepest conscience when it comes to reality see there a civil war battle in me to the degree that I seem fine no one can see believe you me I'm not where I should be kinda like pac lord I ain't happy here but the grass is always greener on the other side in so called friends I confide in the Father at the church I confide but the real horrors I hide because  only I can stop them had friends but the cops got em I'm lying some incarcerated but not me I'm free make a way for you and me letters on reality people can't see 1900 21st century God please deliver me I usually pray that I'm not prey for life is of importance God make a way they say Jesus is a understanding man I think he overstands I got a plan that man make is much money as he can respect I demand while I carry on with this story that turnt to a rant a seed has no life less it dies this is what it sounds like when the meek cry I would carry on but why ask why