deepundergroundpoetry.com
Pumpkin King
since 1993 we've been celebrating Xmas
until it became commercialized and jaded
oh how Saint Nick sits on his throne
ignoring the rise in bratty kids
giving out presents with no rhyme or reason
and these parents are no better
bitching and whinny while the world is dying
that's why immediately I'm invoking
operation "Christmas Massacre!!"
my commander-in-chief, Oogie Boogie
release the corpse kids, undersea gals
harlequin demons and clowns with tears
first the elves must go, then the deer
they fight us with sugar cannons
and candy cane swords
but they are no match for our chemical agents
provided generously by Dr. Finkelstein
Sally's head is presented to me in a box
found out that fucker Grinch was up to this
so I sent 25 nukes to his door
the Bumble arrived putting up a valiant fight
but when we were done we cut him up
he sure did taste good
the misfit toys attacked from the north
even the Miser brothers got in on it
sending their fighters to suicide bomb us
had our witches and zombies take care of them
and last but not least, the Sandy Claws
guarded by his krampus
they killed nearly all of my men
only me and my faithful dog Zero was left
Zero went for the krampus neck
making quick work of him
Sandy Claws begged me for his life
so I cut off his ugly head
then made it into a jack-o'-lantern
until it became commercialized and jaded
oh how Saint Nick sits on his throne
ignoring the rise in bratty kids
giving out presents with no rhyme or reason
and these parents are no better
bitching and whinny while the world is dying
that's why immediately I'm invoking
operation "Christmas Massacre!!"
my commander-in-chief, Oogie Boogie
release the corpse kids, undersea gals
harlequin demons and clowns with tears
first the elves must go, then the deer
they fight us with sugar cannons
and candy cane swords
but they are no match for our chemical agents
provided generously by Dr. Finkelstein
Sally's head is presented to me in a box
found out that fucker Grinch was up to this
so I sent 25 nukes to his door
the Bumble arrived putting up a valiant fight
but when we were done we cut him up
he sure did taste good
the misfit toys attacked from the north
even the Miser brothers got in on it
sending their fighters to suicide bomb us
had our witches and zombies take care of them
and last but not least, the Sandy Claws
guarded by his krampus
they killed nearly all of my men
only me and my faithful dog Zero was left
Zero went for the krampus neck
making quick work of him
Sandy Claws begged me for his life
so I cut off his ugly head
then made it into a jack-o'-lantern
Published 20th Oct 2022
Author's Note
On the 12th day of Halloween I give to thee... nightmares.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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20th Oct 2022 11:43am
20th Oct 2022 11:48am
Lol that made me laugh harder than i should have. That might be an unpopular opinion but the pumpkin king probably agrees 😁
Thanks for the read, friend. Much appreciated.
Thanks for the read, friend. Much appreciated.
20th Oct 2022 2:19pm
21st Oct 2022 2:20am
I always liked the idea of jack skellington as a bad guy. Really glad you enjoyed this, friend 😁 I had a lot of fun writing this.
Anonymous
21st Oct 2022 4:40am
Mwahahahaha.... 😈 Omg- HELL Y. E. S.
This was a bit of evil genius here, DC. Your dark Nightmare Before Christmas endeavor included everything macabre and dastardly that I could wish for... Even effing Krampus!! (There's a local Krampus celebration here every year in December that I go to and it's a total blast!!)
You hit this one out of the park.... A total home run for me!!
(Sally's head in he box, like Seven was truly inspired!!! Hahahaha..... So deliciously awful and menacing!!)
Outstanding ink!!
🎃🗡🩸🩸🎄 👻
This was a bit of evil genius here, DC. Your dark Nightmare Before Christmas endeavor included everything macabre and dastardly that I could wish for... Even effing Krampus!! (There's a local Krampus celebration here every year in December that I go to and it's a total blast!!)
You hit this one out of the park.... A total home run for me!!
(Sally's head in he box, like Seven was truly inspired!!! Hahahaha..... So deliciously awful and menacing!!)
Outstanding ink!!
🎃🗡🩸🩸🎄 👻
21st Oct 2022 7:08am
Hehe. I believe Christmas is officially cancelled after what the Pumpkin King did. And oh yes, I definitely had to include Krampus.
I had a lot of fun with this, though the one I'm posting tomorrow I am very excited about "Wink" "Wink" "Nudge" "Nudge" 😁
thank you friend, I was hoping you would appreciate this piece.
I had a lot of fun with this, though the one I'm posting tomorrow I am very excited about "Wink" "Wink" "Nudge" "Nudge" 😁
thank you friend, I was hoping you would appreciate this piece.
