The Blame Game

She claimed there was nothing in this world that she ever wanted
Until she found out that she was pregnant and that baby she wanted
This baby would be more than a comfort, it was a part of her
That was until the delivery, he was spanked and the baby never stirred

The situation was so tragic it shattered her mind
A casualty of war, like magic, returning from the front line
Coming up out of the hospital, to bury her baby, no time to think of him dying
Family members saw all the symptoms but they all said she'ld be just fine

Hit after hit on that blunt, when something stronger was what she needed not wanted
Drink after stronger drink, followed by brutalizing sex without having a point
No feelings involved please could you just deliver her more pain
Her body and soul given beyond the breaking point with nothing to gain

Every smoke, snort, drink, or non remember able fuck gave her more time
Time to spend with her baby still growing and living in her mind
In this world there was an escape from that gnawing pain
Along with thinking that she killed her baby bathing her in shame

Was she living and eat right as she went about her life everyday
Was there some kind of rule saying that she couldn't be happy if she didn't pray
Before the news that she was pregnant she would had sworn she felt nothing
After her baby's death she knew what it felt like to truly loose something

What life would be like without the sun, lost in total darkness
Without stars referencing you, submerged in the vast starkness
The pain brings with it a brief but blazing light
It allowed her to play with and chase her baby all through the night

Shot after shot, hit after hit, life is an illusion and this is how you deal with it
A true looser has to be true to the game and know not to quit
Destroyed marriages and relationship continued one after the other
That is until an angel told her that she was being entrust again with another