deepundergroundpoetry.com

Drug Addiction Moved-In

There is darkness
I cannot see
I thought I would be ok
But I am not
Incredible sadness
I hate myself
I hate who I am
I hate who I am not
I hate myself
Just vacate the premises
Just want to be done
Tired of crying
Can barely get out of bed
Gaining weight
Depression in my DNA
Can barely take care of myself
Don't know what to do
Where to turn
I'm stuck
Not in control anymore
Drug addiction has moved
Into my home and has all but
Moved me out
I want my home back
I want my life back
Otherwise I have no reason
To be here
I'll just vacate my life
And be done with it all.
I don't have friends
Only a couple
I don't want friends
Am a loner
Not many would miss me
No one would really care.
People would say I'm a rock
I am not
This rock is breaking
This life is definitely
No bowl of cherries
This life is full of obstacles
Even before we make choices
For me to even think
I could be a crone
Is absolutely ludicrous
I don't deserve to be touched
I don't deserve to be recognized
I deserve to be on the
Pity pot merry-go-round
Round and round i go
Where it will stop I do not know
I lend my hand
Only to get burned
And the crazy part
It is all voluntary.
People run roughshod through
Stomping me into the ground
Cannot help themselves
So have to bring others down too.
I do not want to live this life
I cannot live this life
I will not live this life.  
I want out of this life
As it stands
I am very unhappy
Cry to sleep
Cry to wake up
Cry throughout day
Start it over again
I am not in control
Others are and I want out.
I can't even post this.  
Written by elsiesan
Published
Author's Note
Wrote this spring 2022, after having two heroin addicts move in with me. Was trying to help.  Almost broke me, used me, brought me to my knees, nearly disowned daughter.  

Things are better now, just wanted to post in case someone needed to hear from another in similar situation.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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