deepundergroundpoetry.com
Drug Addiction Moved-In
There is darkness
I cannot see
I thought I would be ok
But I am not
Incredible sadness
I hate myself
I hate who I am
I hate who I am not
I hate myself
Just vacate the premises
Just want to be done
Tired of crying
Can barely get out of bed
Gaining weight
Depression in my DNA
Can barely take care of myself
Don't know what to do
Where to turn
I'm stuck
Not in control anymore
Drug addiction has moved
Into my home and has all but
Moved me out
I want my home back
I want my life back
Otherwise I have no reason
To be here
I'll just vacate my life
And be done with it all.
I don't have friends
Only a couple
I don't want friends
Am a loner
Not many would miss me
No one would really care.
People would say I'm a rock
I am not
This rock is breaking
This life is definitely
No bowl of cherries
This life is full of obstacles
Even before we make choices
For me to even think
I could be a crone
Is absolutely ludicrous
I don't deserve to be touched
I don't deserve to be recognized
I deserve to be on the
Pity pot merry-go-round
Round and round i go
Where it will stop I do not know
I lend my hand
Only to get burned
And the crazy part
It is all voluntary.
People run roughshod through
Stomping me into the ground
Cannot help themselves
So have to bring others down too.
I do not want to live this life
I cannot live this life
I will not live this life.
I want out of this life
As it stands
I am very unhappy
Cry to sleep
Cry to wake up
Cry throughout day
Start it over again
I am not in control
Others are and I want out.
I can't even post this.
I cannot see
I thought I would be ok
But I am not
Incredible sadness
I hate myself
I hate who I am
I hate who I am not
I hate myself
Just vacate the premises
Just want to be done
Tired of crying
Can barely get out of bed
Gaining weight
Depression in my DNA
Can barely take care of myself
Don't know what to do
Where to turn
I'm stuck
Not in control anymore
Drug addiction has moved
Into my home and has all but
Moved me out
I want my home back
I want my life back
Otherwise I have no reason
To be here
I'll just vacate my life
And be done with it all.
I don't have friends
Only a couple
I don't want friends
Am a loner
Not many would miss me
No one would really care.
People would say I'm a rock
I am not
This rock is breaking
This life is definitely
No bowl of cherries
This life is full of obstacles
Even before we make choices
For me to even think
I could be a crone
Is absolutely ludicrous
I don't deserve to be touched
I don't deserve to be recognized
I deserve to be on the
Pity pot merry-go-round
Round and round i go
Where it will stop I do not know
I lend my hand
Only to get burned
And the crazy part
It is all voluntary.
People run roughshod through
Stomping me into the ground
Cannot help themselves
So have to bring others down too.
I do not want to live this life
I cannot live this life
I will not live this life.
I want out of this life
As it stands
I am very unhappy
Cry to sleep
Cry to wake up
Cry throughout day
Start it over again
I am not in control
Others are and I want out.
I can't even post this.
Published 10th Oct 2022
Author's Note
Wrote this spring 2022, after having two heroin addicts move in with me. Was trying to help. Almost broke me, used me, brought me to my knees, nearly disowned daughter.
Things are better now, just wanted to post in case someone needed to hear from another in similar situation.
Things are better now, just wanted to post in case someone needed to hear from another in similar situation.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 1
comments 12
reads 761
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
11th Oct 2022 2:47am
A gambler and an addict to drugs will break you in every way possible, we're happy to see that things are better now. It's great to write things out, tight
11th Oct 2022 7:33am
11th Oct 2022 4:09pm
Dear E,
Terribly sorry for the truth behind this write. While posting it may have been difficult the help it may provide would be invaluable. I’m very glad things are better. H🌷
Terribly sorry for the truth behind this write. While posting it may have been difficult the help it may provide would be invaluable. I’m very glad things are better. H🌷
12th Oct 2022 00:12am
21st Oct 2022 6:51am
Glad you are better. You illustrate the plight of a good many people who live with drug addicted relations.
I think it is a factor not taken into account by some of the celebrity advocates of drug legalisation. (Some of them don't have to endure what poorer people living with family drug addiction go through, they are people rich enough to afford homes with plenty of room, nannies to care for their children and chauffeurs to drive them so they are not DUI.)
I think it is a factor not taken into account by some of the celebrity advocates of drug legalisation. (Some of them don't have to endure what poorer people living with family drug addiction go through, they are people rich enough to afford homes with plenty of room, nannies to care for their children and chauffeurs to drive them so they are not DUI.)
26th Mar 2023 12:21pm
Your poem captures the all consuming nature of addiction. My mother has fallen into addiction. I wish she would come home but suspect she stays away to protect me. Sometimes I cry because I fear her coming home.
26th Mar 2023 12:31pm
Anonymous
18th Apr 2023 5:55am
hey elsiesan
addiction and depression are very related to each other, whose future is dark, if we are not able to handle our self at the right time, then destruction will surely happen.. nicely crafted with inspiring words! i like it.
addiction and depression are very related to each other, whose future is dark, if we are not able to handle our self at the right time, then destruction will surely happen.. nicely crafted with inspiring words! i like it.
18th Apr 2023 6:03am
9th Jul 2023 7:20pm
12th Jul 2023 8:52pm
23rd Mar 2024 5:49pm
It sounds like you're going through an incredibly tough time, and your emotions are overwhelming. It's crucial to recognize that what you're feeling is valid, but it's also important to remember that there is hope and help available.
First and foremost, reaching out for support is essential. You may feel like you don't have many friends or that no one cares, but there are people who want to help you through this, whether they're friends, family, or professionals. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can provide you with the support and guidance you need to overcome your struggles with drug addiction and depression.
Remember that addiction is a disease, not a reflection of your worth as a person. You deserve compassion, understanding, and assistance in overcoming it. There are many resources available for those struggling with addiction, including support groups, hotlines, and treatment programs. Seeking help is a brave and important step towards reclaiming your life and your home from the grip of addiction.
It may feel overwhelming right now, but please know that things can get better. You have the strength within you to overcome this, and there are people who want to help you along the way. Take it one day at a time, and don't hesitate to reach out for support when you need it. You are not alone in this journey.
