DEAR DIARY

I fkd up.
I fell in love.
Then the bitch broke my heart.
Ghosted me.
Played me.
She said she loved me.
Bitch manipulated me.
Cunt decimated me.
Sliced & diced my heart completely
Oh how i loved her brown curly hair, loved her green eyes.  
Her luscious tits & her thick theighs.  
All those things burned into my mind from the first time I met her.  
I knew it would be difficult to forget her.
Truth be known, i fell in love with her.  
Now here i am with this fkn broken & shattered heart.
Finding myself all alone.
Where did i go wrong?
What did I do to deserve this fkn never-ending pain?
Driving me insane, simple and plain.  
I must be fkn lame.
I thought we were meant to be.  
I was most surely wrong, so it seems.
You said we'd be together.
That your love for me would never die.  
So, how could you just love me then leave me and not say fkn goodbye?  
Nightly i can't sleep.
All i do is cry.
Pain in my chest, i just wanna fkn die.
It would be better if I never fkn knew you.
I'd be sane not aching and feeling 24/7 fkn blue.
I'm so fkn sick of dreaming about you.
Death would be better.  
Death is final, this i fkn know.
Fkn love, is the death blow.  
She may not love me anymore.  
I still find it hard to let her go.
Drop to my knees crying balled up on the floor.  
No more no more, i can't  take no fkn more.
Thinkin about goin back to drinkin.
Drown my sorrows.
Forget about yesterday.  
Forget about tomorrow.  
No more happiness for me.
Love is through with me.
I need to escape.
This shit is just too much for me to take.  
They say "Be strong,Be a man."
Fk what they say, I'm still dyin of this heartbreak.  
When i was younger i always wanted a love for myself.  
Presently I feel sorry for myself.  
I loved but didn't get love back.
Instead i got an ax in my back.  
Trippin on the words that she said to me.  
I told her i love you.  
She told me i love you too.
3 weeks no word from the woman that told me i love you too.  
How the fk can you play around with my emotions.  
Drowning in a bed full of tears, no closeness.  
She is killing me.  
She is killing me.  
But does she give any fks for me?
No fkn No.
No fkn love for me.
Stop the pain.
Stop the fkn pain.
How is there a way out from this hell i feel?
I wish this shit wasn't real.
I wanted to keep her.
She just didn't want me to have her.
I walk around in a daze like the walking dead.
Dragging my feet drooling and moaning.
No words of sense as the fkn dead.
Dear lord end this grief.  
Come snatch my soul like a thief.
Take all this madness away from me please.  
I know nobody cares.  
Everywhere I go i get stares.
A man walking the streets crying in the rain.
Crying in the rain to hide my pain.  
Why does this kind of heartbreak hurt more than a family or friends death?
Everyday I feel it slipping, shallow breath.
I just can't believe this relationship ended just as fast as it began.  
I must be cursed.
I must be damned.
Now there's absolutely nothing left in this life for me.  
Just an empty shell of a heartbroken man.
Struggling with his pain doin all he can Not to go fkn insane.
You knew my life was empty.
You knew by talking to me.  
She hurt me.
Did she love me?
She said she loved me.  
She said please believe me.  
That's where I fkd up.  
I believed.  
Now I'm mentally stuck.
Totalled out.
Completely mind fkd.
I so want to give up.
I no longer give a fk.
Head hurts.
Fk.
How does a kind hearted man get over this shit?
I don't know how to do it.  
Tears on my pillow since i don't have you.
All because of you.
All because of you.
Broken-hearted by you.
Where do i go from here?
How with so many fkn tears?
Drinking so many fkn beers.
All these feelings have me so fkn twisted up.
 
"You did me wrong Lacey.
You know you did.
I never would've done this kinda shit to you. Never. Ever. I LOVE YOU ❤️!!!!!!