Wife... Not.

"ORGASM!
...
is much stronger without seals'...yes it is!...:)

Damn right! BC. I was wondering if anyone would comment or not. lol So I appreciate you jumping in there on this one. :p Personally I love strong orgasms. Not that there is anything wrong with marriage if you are ready and want to do that, I know it can be a beautiful thing. I suppose things like jealousy, possessiveness, and my parent's divorce did not help with my thinking but anyway... I love multiple orgasms too. :p You hear things about sex going down hill after marriage so I say just don't get married then. Problem solved.

or extra-curricular activity...btw great image.......L <3

Oh yeah! that was exactly the image I wanted. ;)

Does it takes marriage to strengthen or immortalize a relationship. We have several friends and associates that have been married multiple times. We have been in sexual relationships with some partners longer than lots of marriages last. We truly believe that the key to a great marriage is not marrying until both are truly into it and are not doing it simply because. Because it's what expected, what the other wants, because the sex is good, because of finances, freaking just because. Sex may be a great reason for return booty calls but can you stand this person outside of the bed. Your decision has to be your own and not even your partners. There are lots of people today stuck in marriages that are making them miserable. Short but tight piece Lay

Personally  I don't think it should take marriage to strengthen or immortalize a relationship. It takes love and passion, and as long as you have those things that is what will strengthen and immortalize in my mind. I think there are many people that don't get married these days. But anyway, look at the divorce rates in America so clearly marriage is not the necessary ingredients for staying together. Sex, yes... Just saying. lol I think if you are going to get married you should be very sure and that takes time. But like I said in the previous comment I have various reservations about it anyway. Finances are always important. If you are good with money and other person isn't that's a recipe for problems. Yeah you need to like them out of bed too but still without good sex I think it's doomed. Or maybe that's just me. :p I think being pressured to get married causes even more issues. There should be no reservations in my mind. I love getting a tight as you no. ;) I love that you jumped in and gave your opinion ME.

Actually in many ways I think traditionally which may be surprising, I don't know. I think marriage can be something beautiful and amazing and I would never look down on someone's choice to get married. As you said, there are many happily married couples that have been married for a very long time. And perhaps the sex is still great too, I imagine to be happily married it must be. :) So there is humor in this obviously and I don't want anyone to take offense. That's certainly not my intent here at all. For me. I am very cautious about marriage but I have my reasons. As you say to each their own and I do think about what it would be like to get married and the excitement of that. I would want my Mom to give me away if she is still with me at that point which is something that pains me to think about because. Well anyway, I know she would want to see me like that. So that really makes me emotional to think about. But still I need to be ready. Anyway, thanks Tim. I think I needed to say some of these things.

Thanks Tim, you are a really good guy... why aren't you married? (just joking :p)

Just write a marriage proposal poem and post it. With your skill you will probably have someone comment going pick me. lol ;) I am full of good ideas.  

But read this one first. lol
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/412279-to-all-those-that-dare-marriage--see/

hello beautiful Kristina this is very sexy
I'm married but I can still appreciate the draw here
and excitement...

beautiful 💕💕

You know how much I love being very sexy crimsin. ;) I was going for sexy and humor and marriage can be sexy too. And laughing is one of the other things that definitely keeps you together right? ;) Still it is a meaningful subject so if I respond in a humorous way it's certainly not to underestimate the seriousness of marriage, quite the contrary. For me if I get married I want to know for sure and I really don't want to do it again so I think taking time and addressing any concerns, issues, and questions in a relationship makes sense to me. And there is plenty of time, so I would rather focus on the excitement. Although at the moment I am honestly in no state to make a decision like that anyway. You know I always love it when you stop by to give me your thoughts. ;) It means a lot to me.

I’ve been married for almost 30 years.  I think we get comfortable with each other and the fire becomes extinguished. That’s where the term “roommate” shows up.  Then you get use to that term and you just live life instead of enjoying life.

Enjoyed the write.  💜💜

30 years is a long time. Yes there is something to be said for being comfortable and we always become more comfortable with people over time. We learn everything about them, the good and the bad. The pain and the joy. Good times and bad times. Relationships always evolve but passion is definitely so important. Keeping the fire burning by doing new things or doing old things you both love. ;) I think just being roommates is definitely something you have to work on together to avoid that. Because just living instead of enjoying is never good. Thanks so much eyes, I love hearing the perspective from someone who has been married for so long. :)

Been together since I was 13 and married when I was 18. I’m not gonna say it’s all been candy and roses, definitely not! But he is the only one that I have known my whole life. Comfortable is not good, but helps a lot. So does the word content with how things are. My favorite saying is it is what it is. Lol. 💜

Wow, you got together very young and stayed together that's really incredible. I don't think it's ever all candy and roses. There is a lot to be said for comfortable and content too. Haha, you probably noticed I say that too. ;)

Yes ma’am.  Sending positive thoughts your way hun! 💜💜

You need to be pleased all night long.  Keep on writing.

Being pleased all night long is definitely a great thing for any relationship. :p That's the perfect starting point I think. I definitely need to give and receive orgasmic bliss. ;) Often... like really often... lol It's amazing how many arguments can be solved with orgasmic bliss. I even wrote about 'Grudge sex'. It's always interesting when you start thinking about stuff you wrote in relation to comments. :) Especially the older stuff you kind of forgot about. Thanks for the encouragement Francisco. You know I want to keep writing for you.

You are truly welcome. I want please you too.

Most people fear the chains of conformity but are more afraid of an uncertain future, even if it means denial of passion and fire. You are a rare breed seeing far horizons and thinking "is that are there is?" The only difference between you and histories most famous explorers is that your horizons are all internal, living within your soul, and do not show up on any map. I know that feeling well and I still seek those horizons in my dreams, but it is your dream now and they are your horizons. I will give you a compass made from my soul to help you find your way and if you ever need to rest it will point you toward home. peace and mirth witch.

Ah, conformity has never been for me but they have always tried to force me too. Even the way I hold my pen is weird and they tried for years to make me do it 'right' but then gave up finally. I celebrate being different, I found the UK more accepting of that in many ways ultimately later. At first it was the opposite for me and I was treated very badly by other kids for being American and it devastated me. But anyway there is a lot to that history. I cannot deny my passion and fire, it was lit at a very early age for many reasons and through being burned and destroyed I had to be a phoenix or die. So I rose from the flames and embraced them with a burning passion that is so intense those around me cannot help but feel it, the good and the bad. I love being an explorer, I need that so much. Exploring myself, others, places, soul, everything. I need to dream and see those horizons and when my circumstances try to put out the flames they will never succeed because I would cease to exist. That sounds like a magical compass, one that will truly guide you to special places. I love the word mirth, I cannot remember the last time I heard it except from you. It makes me smile.

That's truly because of ah stress what u ah say is true. I still like the expression of deep truly feelings I ah feel within this ah piece Kristina. U stay up! 💋👁️🍜🧅🥥🥦🍹👄🍺🍻👅🌈🍑

Ah yes, some things that most would not consider stressful are for me, but I suppose I am different in many ways. We all have our own truths and for our own reasons and history that defines them. But yes I am always sharing truly deep feelings in one way or another, at least for me. I am glad you can feel that with me Brichel. I am trying to keep my head up amongst everything working to pull me down. I must... for me, for everyone around me. When I am down everyone gets pulled down with me and things start to mess up everywhere but it's a lot of responsibility and that's hard. Thanks for reminded me to stay up. ;)

As always, u are ah welcomed ah muchly. 👁️👍👁️🤎👍🍹🍑👅💋👁️🤎🥂🥂🥥🥥🥂🥂👄

In many of our marriages as per religious culture i.e without any premarital fornication , thus ' no sex before marriage ' , the sex simply goes uphill after starting downhill. So many of our type say they have more sex and orgasms several years into the marriage than the honeymoon  period or the first two years. That's true for me too in my marriage.  
But western style marriages i hear many complain that it was too much sex before marriage and early years of marriage then it goes downhill.  
Im glad you aren't totally against marriage but seeing so many marriages with low sex drive must influence negatively against marriage.

Plz also read and comment my newest poem too.

Hey ZayK, It's an interesting dichotomy for sure. Obviously there was a time where fornication before marriage was completely taboo and very bad things would happen because of it. Times have changed and in many societies now it's the opposite where living together and even not getting married is much more prevalent. I suppose there is things to be said for either but it should be a personal choice. It should not be forced in my mind. I respect anyone's choice for what and how they believe so long as it does not harm anyone. Yes, the honeymoon period definitely seems to be a common theme of it starts great and often loses passion in later years. But I know you can keep the passion too especially if you are truly in love and that's beautiful. That's what I would want out of marriage, know for sure and keeping that passion burning always. I suppose you are right that lots of sex before marriage can represent that honeymoon period and so when you do get married things can take a turn sooner. It's a complicated balance for sure I suppose. But yes I do have my concerns, I just want to know for sure and I think that is prudent these days in rampant divorce in the West. I will certainly try to check out your poem soon. Thanks so much for visiting me and sharing your thoughts. I love hearing from someone with perspectives from other places. :)

In all the muslim communities i have observed across several countries forced marriage isn't allowed as Islamic hadith forbids it. People with more backward or old fashioned norms still allow it perhaps in rural areas.
So in our religious culture the marriage starts out with nil or far less coition and then after a few years its uphill from there and the intensity of love and passion is far more intense than western honeymoon or premarital dating period. So it's the opposite yes of western marriages which begin with lots of passion and love then go downhill. I was real surprised when many western couples after 20 or 30 years of marriage told me they were just living together not having any coupling love.
On the other hand i recall a westerner being so surprised that a muslim couple were hardly sleeping together in the first year of marriage though they liked each other soo much but were still shying of it.

I find different cultures and beliefs fascinating and I think there is so much to be learned from them. I had Muslim friends in the UK where it was more prevalent. Where I am now does not have the same diversity. But I was always interested to hear what people had to say about beliefs and culture. And often people think they know something when they really don't so it can really open your eyes when you go to other places and interact with different people. I was fortunate I was taken places while growing up in the UK. It has expanded my perspective and understanding significantly. Often I talk to people who think they understand something from watching the news but the news is not the way to truly learn about people. It is often entirely wrong and has an agenda. I think there are always pros and cons to doing things a certain way. We can learn from that and do our best to utilize those things to live the best life we can for ourselves and being a positive influence on others. To often there is cynicism and hate in modern times and it just poisons people and breeds more of the same. So I really appreciate you sharing with me. This is deep and meaningful and love that.

I think the problem with marriage is not the sex but the sense that sex with your partner becomes a duty.

Once you have to do it is made out of you get to do it, it all turns into a routine.

Like taking out the trash or doing dishes.

There are so many possibilities I think for why marriages can go wrong so to speak. For me, I don't think the duty aspect would be an issue or at least I cannot imagine that but I have a lot of passion and drive for certain things. On the other hand I don't want it to be about jealousy and possessiveness among other things and feel that's damaging. There has to be a level of trust. No one is perfect and everyone has urges whether they admit or not, at least I think so. But divorce and cheating is rampant for all kinds of reasons. Sex seems to be a common theme of becoming dispassionate but I do think that's perhaps overblown and can relate to other issues rather than sex itself. Ultimately everyone wants sex right? Well most people I think. And good sex is certainly something that holds relationships together in my mind. But you should want to do it and if you don't perhaps it's a deeper issue. Routine however is never good, it can be comforting in ways and some people like that but for me I need thrilling and exciting to be an integral part. I am know there will always be chores and dishes but when a man comes up behind me when I am cooking or doing dishes and puts his hands on my hips and starts... well anyway... those things mean so much. And after dinner you better believe before or after dinner there is going to be a lot of excitement. ;)

She's got culinary skills!

I do pretty well cooking but I just make it up as I go mostly. lol I hate using recipes... :p

when a man comes up behind me when I am cooking or doing dishes and puts his hands on my hips and starts... well anyway... those things mean so much. And after dinner you better believe before or after dinner there is going to be a lot of excitement. ;)

These are what's cooking skills.

Geezus that was unexpected. Oh my God, thanks for making me laugh. Not that there is anything wrong with that... just wasn't expecting it from you RT. :p

My parents were notoriously violent. It was a very turbulent relationship.

The one thing they did that was in the least romantic was that my mom would be working in the kitchen and dad would walk up behind her and grope her while she tried to cook or wash dishes.

It's actually one of my fondest childhood memories because other than that they were busy trying to kill each other....literally.

Strange, but vividly true.

That is interesting, how things can align and bring up memories. Turbulent and violent is definitely difficult on a child. I wish you had better childhood memories. But for some of us we were meant to be challenged early I suppose.

Definitely.

What I have learned is that our earlier experiences are made better by our giving them purpose.

If I had not had those experiences, I would not have understood that teaching school was a very intimate sharing process. My early abuses gave me the street credit I needed to earn the respect I needed to teach authentically.

Well hey. lol

Ah yes, what a question I stepped into there but I am good at getting into trouble. lol

I don't think it's necessary but if your beliefs support that then there is nothing wrong with that either. I just think it's more of a choice these days. And yes when you are together for a long time I think figuratively you are married just if something happens the divorce is a lot easier. But I always want you to pull out the handcuffs lol Oh yeah! I love that! ;)

Great sex, understanding, and care certainly will get you through the rough stuff in my mind. That's a good basis.

Haha, see above... yes... I have seen what an ugly divorce looks like and I don't want to see it ever again.

To be finances are important, if you are not similar regarding that you are bound to have issues that transcend sex and other things. Weddings are F-ing expensive lol. Divorces too. If I did I would keep it small and intimate.

Yes, hopefully I have expressed that I believe there is nothing wrong with it and it can be beautiful. Some do need the security or healthcare coverage (in America) and other things too. Nothing wrong making that commitment but clearly a lot of people do it perhaps hastily and end up in divorce. Sometimes you want a life sentence but often it does not work out that way.

Amen, sex has to be great for me. I am not saying for everyone because other stuff can be more important to some I suppose. But ringing that bell, hell yeah... I need that rung. lol

Ah, yes I can really step into it with topics. lol
This was definitely a short one for me but I think it did say a lot and I love you see that.

Thanks for the awesome comment. ;)

Marriage is a state of mind...for that matter, so is orgasm.

That's very true. I suppose everything is a state of mind in it's own right. It needs to be something both people are ready for and fully committed to in my mind. Often it can be for the wrong reasons I think. I am probably more cautious than most perhaps but I have my reasons. Still I love the idea of it and what it represents and I would love to think I would be ready for that someday. But anyway, that's probably not for a while and I have to many difficult things in my life to even think about that right now. But orgasm definitely takes my mind off those things so that's certainly very important to me. (but would be regardless). :) Thanks for stopping by and continuing to read me Bonnie. I really appreciate your thoughts.

At this point of things, I feel that marriage is basically outdated. Sadly.
Of course I'm an older, bitter-towards-marriage guy.  Lol.

The sincerity towards the commitment of a relationship is what matters.  They have it or they don't.  In a way, the shiny sparkly idea of a wedding increases the illusions, which definitely ebbs (naturally).  And too many times, too soon, the couple says "now what?".   The rush of the whole ceremonial "package" has passed.  Like when cocaine wears off.  (Hey, it's the best example I could come up with!)

You can't convince yourself to a yes or no.  It doesn't work that way.  It simply enters you like a found knowledge.  There will be no if or if not.  
If you don't feel that, then you're not ready.   And it is not a fault.  It's being aware of how you truly feel about the person, combined with the legal commitment.  
Marriage is so much legalities nowadays.  It has lost its purpose so much.

Oh, btw, your poem is invigorating thoughts!  Trust your OWN judgement.

I love the idea of it, the meaning, and even the 'fantasy' of it but I suppose I have seen too much jealousy and possessiveness in relationships for one thing. Also, I have seen how terrible divorce can be too. So all of it just made me lose trust in it I suppose. I have seen lots of people bitter and known people to get married for the wrong reasons which is usually a disaster. You should be able to stay together without a piece of paper, and not be concerned about staking a claim so to speak, if it there is love and passion.

Yes, that's what I was just saying. :) I write my comments as I go. :p Commitment, love, and passion hold things together for the long haul no matter what. A shiny expensive wedding is not something I need although the idea I think is always attractive in some way, especially for girls. lol I am not much for pageantry but in a way being beautiful for him and making that commitment to each other in this ceremonial way can be something special. In some ways I guess it would remind me that I really don't have much in the way of close family ties besides my Mom but anyway. I know she would want to see me like that and maybe that's the most important thing in some ways to me. But also extremely painful now. I don't think I would want my Father there, but there are reasons for that. I have seen people spend tons of money they didn't have on weddings too and I think that's very bad way to start.

Being pressured into a significant decision is never a good way to start even something like buying a house. Take your time and get it right. At least to the best extent you can. I can be very sure about something but all the stars have to align. I can be very impulsive about some things like passion but not the big decisions. Love should not be about legalities in my mind or ownership either.

I do love being invigorating... perhaps not so much on this subject. lol But yes I have to trust my own judgement because I am very good at seeing the complete picture and all the considerations.

Just for the record, a man always sees you as beautiful, if he loves you.  It doesn't have a high and low standard.  Even when you have a cold. Even when you haven't done your hair and makeup. Even if you're wearing a ratty t-shirt and ugly socks.

Love isn't physical.  Although it's expressed physically a great deal.  Yay!

It's soul born and soul stays.  Your beauty goes inside you the more it leaves your outside.  That's what a man in love sees, as your decades become highlights.
That's why our looks are recreated in paintings and pictures.  But our love is put to songs and poetry.  Paintings capture. Poems/songs release the joy, because love is too big to contain.

Find that guy, who cherishes your thoughts, your beliefs, your opinions.  He may not agree, but he honors the person that has a strong conscience.
If you have him,  that's awesome.  If not, if he doesn't just stop and take in the whole of you, of who you are, at the most unexpected moments, then he's just a nice guy. But not a husband.

Yes, that's all very true. I just meant in the wedding sense of being all dolled up in that special way with the dress, garter belt, lingerie, and all. You know what I mean. :) Personally I have always found guys think a long T-shirt and socks is sexy as hell. lol But if you have love and passion you will always find them beautiful no matter what. At the worst of times and at the best of times. Because inner beauty always shines. Which of course reminds me of some songs I will link below. Certain things became deeply rooted in my self worth early on and that's something that I suppose I still fight in some ways to this day though. When you are made to feel your worth is only in one thing it affects you in profound ways... When a guy cherishes everything about you it is one of the most incredible things in the world.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-EO5I60KA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YtzsUdSC_I

With a Vampire's brand on your neck and @ss, no wedding contract needed. You are possessed / property!  : )

You totally get it Leo, that's why you are a genius. lol A vampire's kiss lasts more than a lifetime. What could be better than that, huh? ;) You will share an eternity together but if she nags you I guess that can feel like way to long perhaps. But I don't nag so it's all good. lol Of course he can be a pain in the ass too but then you just push him into the sunlight. No I didn't say that. lol (yeah I did). Anyway, just think of all the possibilities is all I am trying to say. :p I want a wine glass filled with blood now... Type O negative. ;)

I can see your point here, however, the old romantic in me says that being married should never feel like a trap. Marriage terrifies me too, lol, like who's gonna get the stupid wagon wheel coffee table & that blue ceramic plate that'll cost you $100.000 in legal bills when it all goes wrong, haha. Ok, It's from, 'When Harry Met Sally' but it makes you think, right? ;-)

Oh yes! many points actually. But still I am a romantic too but for me marriage is something I only want to do once if I do that. ;) 'Terrifies' huh? yeah... :p Oh God!, you feel like I should have been getting sex all these years from the attorney for as much as they just ****** me. But at least you get the stupid wagon wheel coffee table. lol I am always thinking, I wish I could say that's a good thing but... It would be so much easier not to.

I never thought you should be getting sex from anyone you didn't want to. ;-)

Well that's true but maybe you have a hot attorney... If not maybe you should get a new one... If you are paying that much might as well have something to look at... :p

I don't need anyone else when I have you, haha. (If only!) By the way, I thought you might like to see a poem I wrote about travelling on the tube, called, 'The World Is Your Oyster...Card!' on my page. It's on a similar theme to your poem about the same subject. I hope you'll let me know what you think of my collaboration with my former work colleague, Mark (his real name).

'I don't need anyone else when I have you' Awww... that's so sweet! I love that.

Absolutely I will check it out, thanks for letting me know. I will make my way over there soon. Either tonight or tomorrow.

I guess if it's on paper it's tangible and it's bound to the laws, however the emotion is much too real and stronger.
I liked this.

Well done Kristina.

Yes, considering jealousy and possessiveness I have experienced I suppose I am just concerned it's more of an 'ownership' thing. The harder it's pushed the more I pull away from the idea. Perhaps that's wrong because I really do love the tradition and idea of it. I know my Mom is old fashioned in that way and would love to see me as a bride. So that does weigh on me. I had mentioned before being a tortured soul in many ways and I want her to see me in any light that makes her happier especially now. I don't like a lot of laws all that  much.
I am definitely the one attracted to the 'Do not enter' signs or doing things * nevermind, innocent look *

I collect wives and reluctant wives ...
Good company

Collect wives, oh God why would you want to do that? Isn't one enough? lol I know someone could only deal with one of me. I have needs damnit! Reluctant wives. lol Now that just sounds bad. But then I know I am very reluctant to go there. That certificate feels like a receipt for a transaction. lol Yeah, he bought that one... Oh no... :p