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Change or Loss?

"Have I changed?    
 
I've come from hiding and blending in, to trying to be noticed and admired for what I do.    
From silence to the bones, to spoken actions even tho silence always latches on.    
   
I've come from indifferent and cold, to being taken on a midnight ride by my emotions.    
Inactive and questioning, to active and not thinking too much.    
   
I've come from being socially shy and attaching to quick, to practicing Non-Attachment with whoever I meet, while still connecting.    
Caring and willing to change the world, to change and be better in my own world.    
   
Personal development and growth. Ups and downs, feeling myself and not feeling at all.    
People say they see imense things in me, yet I still wonder how I can't see or find that for now.    
"Your time will come, be patient."    
   
The vessel, still the same.    
The inner, always moving, rumbling, flowing.    
   
The self has changed in these past few years.    
Unrecognizable at times, yet fragments of the old winds.    
Seperated in pieces, trapped in the same room.    
   
There are days where I reminisce over you, old self.    
Still, without you I wouldn't be of any existence.    
Thank you, for your past live(s).    
   
Did I lost you?    
Maybe I chased you away?    
Or was it you who pushed me away to become?    
I don't know, yet I'm haunted by questions and voids.    
Different person, same body.    
Melancholy and Silence are the only ones that haven't left    
and that may be passed on to the next ones after this one.    
I hope you'll find what you seek.    
   
With Love and Darkness    
   
   
   
I'm Gone    
   
   
   
f o r   h o w   l o n g ?"    
   
   
~Rafael dJdS
RafaeldJdS010
Written by RafaeldJdS010
Published | Edited 10th Oct 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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