I Wish

The secrets I've been keeping,
Are the feelings I've been feeling,
I've told almost no soul,
And it's taking it's toll.
Each thought, each emotion, I hear so loud,
Of each one, I'm so proud,
But think others won't be, so they stay in a shroud.
Like a bell, the stum of my heartstrings rings clear,
"What if everyone else hears that?" I did fear,
Worried my thoughts would show in my face and actions,
Painting me a target for bullying oppositions,
But now, like a mountain, I stand tall,
I know I will never fall
To anything but eventual death,
And I'll bring down everyone who hurt me, with my dying breath.
My crush on him is quite clear,
At least to my mother who works near,
This job is a bit physically tasking,
But sure is emotionally torturing,
I feel so strongly,
I wish I could look at him longingly,
In a hug, I wish I could squeeze him,
With love, I wish I could look at him,
I wish I could hold his hand,
And next to him stand
With my arm around him
In a photo with him,
A photo of us,
Just being us
But being us, together,
To remember forever.
To look into those huge, dark, eyes that gleam,
Sweet nicknames, I wish I could call him,
Like "Pumpkin", "Darlin'", "Sweetheart",
Wishing we would never have to part.
To encourage each other to do our best,
And laugh together, when we take an emotional rest
From the troubles of life,
And all of it's strife.
I hope someday we can become friends,
Then maybe at some point, more than friends,
Nothing wanton, just an emotional closeness,
And a G to light PG at most, physical closeness,
Of hugs, snuggles, and maybe a kiss here and there on the cheek,
Would make my knees weak.
I just want to let him know he's loved and cared for,
And for both of us to feel so secure.
These are the emotions I've been bottling up,
That someday I'll bring up,
It hurts, but I won't mess it up and rush,
As I enjoy this crush,
Knowing the best relationships
Start out as friendships.