deepundergroundpoetry.com

The Sound of my Voice

  Talk sounding trite, of one who stammers. Stuttering speech a teacher can't reach or alter. Excessive is the theme of repetition of words. Fumble, feeling clumsy, stupid on the spot.Falter, sputter, jabber, pause and repeat then rewind...trying to say it one more time. This is the long drawn out sound of a voice that Stutters. Twisted is the dry lips, stress is the mask one wears and beads of sweat is the workout. Yammering, jammering as the audience heards trying to follow. The whole show presents a see-saw of ups & downs. One sentence spoken takes one hour of a nightmare that clings & lingers on. High anxiety already taking it's toll. Stage fright, stomach turn sick, looking for any back door exit with no return. Wanting to run, nowhere to hide, can't wait till it's quittin' time. Always someone throwing out a question or more...Long pause their waiting for an answer. Here comes my anxiety of panic, the retched sound of my voice. Lips moving, no words said. Knowing all along that they have or own no patiences for waiting for my response. Just a simple sentence took so much time & effort just work up & spit the letters, words, phases or sentences. Inside I knew the answer easily, right on top of my head. Closing my eyes tight so my tears couldn't escape & the crying hits my lips. Waiting sometime until I open them up again. Already seeing the view before me, nobody there but the cold wind stinging my cheeks as the front door swings shut. Humiliated & embarrassed hating my lifetime of loneliness, bullied & no friends. Wanting to be an actress, a star, loved & never alone. These were my childhood wishes on birthdays & X-Mass eves, knowing these things only happen in fairy tales. Experience told me that one who stutters could never star in a movie, for silent pictures died along time ago. The sheer sound of my voice echoing loudly in my ears. I bellowed out the deepest roar of pain...For this is my dire song, still & always remains the same !!!!
Chere-Rene13
Written by Chere-Rene13 (Chere R Sarver)
Published
Author's Note
It's been a tough road to hike & that's why I've always enjoy writing ...And sometimes that can be a challenge too, LOL !!!
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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