Of Mice and Me

 
There I was, at the costume party
Enjoying my time when I stepped on a witch’s toes
In my defense I was pretty drunk
But she was ugly AF with a big old wart on her nose

“My bad you mean looking bitch”
I meant to say “witch” but the liquor had taken full effect
All she did was give me a foul scowl
But I know my behavior that night had gone unchecked

Next thing I know I’m hankering for some cheese
I’m usually not much into it but it was a bad craving
Suddenly I felt like my entire body was shrinking
I thought it was because I was just misbehaving

I felt like I fell on the floor looking up at people
That’s when I girl looked at me and started screaming
Then another girl who was dancing shrieked and yelled
Then more girls joined and I thought they were scheming

While I was on the floor a guy tried to stomp me
So I scurried out of the way as fast as I could
But then something didn’t seem quite right to me
I felt scared but I decided to assert my manhood

I tuned around and tried to yell at the man chasing me
But my words came out like a teeny tiny squeak
I panicked and started to scream at the top of my lungs
But I had completely lost my voice and couldn’t speak

Then I saw another person coming at me with a broom
I scampered out of there with amazing agility and speed
I was amazed I was running on both my hands and feet
When I realized I had changed into a different of breed

I was covered in fur with big ears and some giant front teeth
Large whiskers? What the hell is happening in this house?
Then I saw my hand and feet hand turn into tiny paws
Oh no, this witch had done turned me into a mouse!

Then I saw the witch on the other side of the room
Laughing at me like it was the funniest thing
Suddenly I got hit in the back of the head with a broom
And like a hockey puck I flew through the air with one swing

Now all the women at the party are squealing loudly
Even the guys are on top of chairs calling me a rat
“I’m a mouse” I tried to explain but again I only screeched
That’s when the witch told someone “Release the cat”

“Aw hell nah” I squeaked and tried running toward the exit
But by then someone had let the ferocious kitty out
As for me, that was the first I’d been scared of a pussy
Because I know that cat was going to eat me without a doubt

He blocked my exit, I swerved to the left I veered to the right
But that cat was in the zone and he was fully focused on me
I faked to left but shifted to the right and still that didn’t work
So I had one last play and I knew it was going to be a little crazy

I hurried and scurried toward the witch and ran up her dress
Amidst the hairy legs and other things I really won’t mention
The cat ran up behind me and then the witch gave a scream
Feeling paws and claws all over was sure to get her attention

When I reached the nether…bushes of her southlands
The cat and I started to get a little delirious from the smell
But nevertheless, I persisted and climbed higher and higher
Until the kitty clawed and the witch released me from the spell

There I was in human form, on top of the witch, butt naked
They all thought it was magic trick, what more could they ask for
So that night I ran home as I fast I could, forever and ever sober
And it’s also why I don’t go to Halloween parties anymore

The End